Remembering Dr. King

Tomorrow is Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's birthday.  Noah's school is so incredibly wonderful, it's a place that puts emphasis on diversity, differences and the courage of those who dared to stand up peace and equality.  In addition to celebrating Dr. King's birthday tomorrow with a school-wide celebration lead by the children, they are also hosting an event on MLK day, this coming Monday.  First it will be a day of service,children and their families, packing up meals for those less fortunate. After that, we will all share a simple meal of soup and bread together, and focus on the importance of community. Then we'll hear speeches from staff and students on the value of human rights and tolerance, followed by a candle light march, and culminating in short, poignant gathering where we'll sing and remember the great teachings of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.   Dr. King taught us that you CAN make a difference, that you don't have to surrender to the oppressors. He helps me to keep hope that some day, those in the LBGT community will also have the same civil rights, and universal human dignity as we do, just like Dr. King hoped so many years ago!

One exciting thing this year, is that I was hired by the school to shoot the whole event on Monday! So hopefully, we'll have some nice pictures to see soon!

I was moved with what I have seen and heard from the children so far, as they prepare for tomorrow's celebration. The following is Noah's take on MLK's and Rosa Park's stories. (Although his story made more sense when he told me the first time. Of course without the camera rolling. Go figure.)

I also wanted to share these pictures that I saw hanging in the halls today. They were done by some of the preschoolers. It's so exciting that even children as young as three and four are learning lessons in hope and empathy. 

So let's take a cue from the kids, and make sure to stop and think about the great Martin Luther King, and what he taught us about hope, perseverance and love.

Peace!

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I actually just put on jeans....

..... and I think I'm ok with it!

 

For those of you who don't know me, I'm a dress person. I love love LOVE dresses! I don't know why, they're just so girly and swirly and easy. One piece, throw it on and you're done!

They're also comfortable, and on days when your hair just isn't going right or you have a big pimple in the middle of your forehead, a dress can try and make up for it.  You know, when you're feeling really ugly.  Because, in case nobody told you, fancy balances frumpy! A frumpy feeling gal + a fancy dress = Francy. Which in my book is A-OK!

I've felt sub-francy all my life.  Frizzy brown hair, plaid glasses, short and stout in a sea of  tall, blond Birminghamsters.

Birminghamsters in case you don't know, are those who inhabit my hometown, an affluent suburb outside of Detroit. It's a place where waspy decadence and entitlement is the norm.  Where in sixth grade you're a nobody without a golden, post-spring break tan.  (This means that your parents whisked you away to some Caribbean island or to get one last run in at a mountainous ski resort. Aspen anyone!?) Of course, the latter example would be not just a golden tan, but  a SKI GOGGLE TAN.  JUST as highly coveted.  I only once had an Aspen ski goggle tan. Therefore I am not up to par.

I grew up feeling quite the ugly duckling. Though my parents tried, yes they tried...... At one point, I was quite "kept".  

My father would take me for luxurious facials at Margot's European Day Spa. Until one day they forgot my toweled self under a steamer. (I'd still recommend them though.) He'd take me shopping for color coordinated, cute outfits. Ones with matching accessories and shoes. Matching shoes! You used to be able to buy little sneakers at the Gap with prints that matched the shirts. Can you imagine?

 But I always seem to come off  awkward, not the perfection that is a Birminghamster.

 There were contacts and braces , and trips to the salon, and the makeup counter.  I can tell you with totally assurance that my skin care products, make-up and clothing back then, far exceed in many ways, what I have now. 

Oh it was a charmed life. Minus the frizzy brown hair, plaid glasses, braces and being 4' 10".

I went to weight watchers, went to girl's horseback riding camp, put in countess miles dancing to cassingles* in my basement, but nothing seemed to up my confidence, or image for that matter.  (* My first cassingle: "Right Here, Right Now" by Jesus Jones.) O.M.G.

And here's the shocker. Ready for the  Piece de Resistance!?  

Even, EVEN.....while at a Shoe Show in New York, EVEN my father had Freedom Williams 

from C & C Music Factory , (which was a hot band at the time.), you know "GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT ;EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!".  

Had Freedom Williams call me

on the phone one day after school to give me a shout out, and even THAT, did not give me street cred.  (But it did confirm why I thought C & C was Da Bomb!) It was hopeless.......   :(

So I grew up and became an adult, who always hated the way that she looked. I did. I do. It's hard. It's not like I'm delusional,  I mean DUH, I am aware that most, if not 99.5% of women don't like their bodies at some point.  I just don't like my body enough that I'm  afraid to wear jeans!

Yes, you heard me, AFRAID of wearing jeans! I got it in my head a while ago that I must look horrid in jeans, and that is why you'll rarely see me in them these days.  It was ok for a while, but now I'm back to my old self-loathing, jean fearing self.

I joined Weight Watchers, and for a year, an entire year, I measured and counted and journaled each and every morsel of food that went into my mouth. I worked and worked and worked.  I worked so hard in fact that I lost 40lbs, and three dress sizes, and weighed almost what I did in the seventh grade! I felt good, I felt confident, I was wearing my SKINNY JEANS! Woo Hoo! Jeans, jeans, jeans. 

(Your WHAT!? Your...SKINNY? Jeans you say? Alright stop it. Ha ha ha, they're skinny to me ok?)

But then all that counting. It just got SO OLD. It just got so restrictive and redundant and I was hungry and I missed food and I was miserable and hated being on a diet and felt like I was trapped and resented every minuted of it. I began to eat like a normal person and of course, you know what's next.....blah....blah.... I gained some weight. I gained by enough to go up a size, and then my  body stopped and has just stayed there for six months. Kind of like my natural set-point. And even though I'm still a good two sizes smaller than I was before, and even though at this weight when I was on Weight Watchers, I felt so good, I now feel self-conscious and you guessed it, have a fear of Jeans once again. BOO.

And ladies and gentlemen, now for the NUMBER ONE REASON I AM A DRESS PERSON, NOT A JEANS PERSON.........(drum roll please!) BBBbbbbbbbbbbbrrrr............DROPLETS......................... Ta dah! Droplets! 

Yeah, droplets.  My name for the tiny amount of water that gets onto your socks from the dragging cuffs of your jeans on wet days. I CAN'T STAND droplets! EEEEEWWWWWW.

See, I told you I have sensory problems.

Now that I think of it though, I also hate indoor sock droplets. I don't wear socks in the kitchen or bathroom for just that reason! It's a mine field I tell you.

Ok, but the whole point of this post is, that today I just became so sick of dressing up. I sat in a morning meeting for three hours in a nice dress and tights and boots and big earring that hurt my ear holes, and afterwards I was like "Enough"!  I ran home and threw on some jeans and a soft cotton shirt (and not socks, cause you know, droplets), and it felt so great!

I also, just to be sure that they weren't getting any tighter, tried my jeans on with regular underwear and thongs. Yes, you can relax, I have done the work for you,  jeans do feel more snug with regulars on. It's not you, it's your underwear playing tricks on you.

Now that I want to wear jeans again, I really need to learn to like myself. Part of that might be moving more. I love walking outside, or spending time on the elliptical. It might mean Wii Fit or even snowboarding (which ahem...I RULZ).  Or it could mean that I eat better, less, start the diet again. BUT, I think what it really should mean the most is, learning to love myself. Learning to be ok with who I am, the me. I may not be Birminghamster material, but I'm me. 

I rarely watch TV anymore. Who has time? They said that for a person like me, owning a DVR would change my life, and it has. Can you say GHOST HUNTERS anytime, all the time. 24/7!

(It's TAPS!)

 

I also came across some weird ass channel, Lifetime Television Real Women. It has super awesome shows, including "HOW TO LOOK GOOD NAKED". It's not what you think. Come on, it's British, of course they're going to have some cheeky little title. Ha, ha, get it? Cheeky!?

How to Look Good Naked takes a new woman each week, some poor sadly lady, who just like me, dislikes the way her body looks. Then the faaaaaabulous host, Gok Wan has them strip down to their skivies. Then the ladies cry and then they outline their shape onto a mirror with a dry erase pen. Then, they look at other nearly nude ladies and try to guess which one has the same measurements as theirs, and they always guess way too large. Then they throw away their old clothes and Gok Wan buys them awesome, new underwear and girdles. Then they go shopping for flattering clothes and Gok Wan makes them take a semi-nude picture and he puts it on a billboard in the center of London. After that they have to be in a fashion show in an over crowded mall and moon the audience at the end. Finally they love their bodies and everyone cries except the husbands, who smile because they just finally saw their wives's ass for the first time in twenty-three years. 

And I tell you, this show has really helped me to like my body.  These hips don't lie baby! Tell me are you ready for this jelly? This body is bootilicious!

I'm Hooked!

Wow, I just rubbed aluminum-oxide crystals on my face to remove a layer of skin in hopes of looking younger! I CAN'T believe it. I really can't, can't, can't. I've finally went out and bought my first anti-aging, anti-wrinkle, rough old skin product. My skin has been looking dull, and I've noticed some newish lines and sun damage, not to mention stress break outs. It was time for something beyond my wash and moisturize routine. 

I wanted to know what all the young women in the locker room of the JCC were talking about, when they mentioned their dermabrasion appointments. They talked about these appointments ALL THE TIME.  I didn't want to pay appointment prices, so I checked things out on drugstore.com

That's where I found Boot's  No7. Total Renewal Micro-Dermabrasion Exfoliator. The price was right and it got good reviews.

I just used it tonight, with lots of apprehension might I add. (It's scary to rub scratchy aluminum on your face.) But.....immediately, as the lotion was off, my skin was so lovely and soft and smooth! I'm hooked! I can't wait until Friday when I can do it all over again.

They say it takes about four applications to really see results. They also say you shouldn't use this product more than twice a week. You have to be careful because the skin needs time to regenerate new skins cells, and it can leave you prone to sun burn, so cover up with an SPF.

Just thought I would share.

A Funny Thing Happened the Other Day......

It was ironic, after writing my last post, a piece all about Noah not wanting to cut his hair, that I found myself meandering over to Sweet Juniper!  only to find an entry on the miniest of sweet junipers getting a hair cut.  

Sweet Juniper! Is one of my very favorite blogs, full of beautifully crafted posts on life in Detroit, parenting and other great and creative topics and projects, including Dutch's awesome children's books.  I am also a big fan of Wood's section "Woodcraft", equally as mesmerizing, equally as well crafted. They are both masters. 

Anyway, I came across THIS post. Where little brother is having a homemade haircut. Noah took one look at his lollipop, one look at the photo of big sister Juniper herself, (somebody he does admires very much),  and unexpectedly says: "Mom, I want a haircut too!"  "Can I have one today?"

WHAT? You want a WHAT? All of these years, all of this time, my haircut shunning child kid wants a haircut!  "Sure" I say, both shocked and unprepared.  That's all it took? A photo of some candy and the street cred. of being Sweet Juniper's brother? It was awesome.

So, we watch the embedded video, a short instructional piece on home hair cutting, and I went to work. Noah sat and ate his candy cane, and I had a blast chopping away.  It was one of the best Saturday nights in a long time.

So thanks Junpiers, for making haircuts cool again.

Choosing My Hairy Battles

I've never been one to have "good hair".  When I was a kid it was a wild, tangly mess, like a bird's nest.  Sometimes when it would get really bad, my Mom would say jokingly: "You need to comb your hair, it looks like a Ragamuffin".  Which I totally didn't get back then and still don't, because what's a Ragamuffin? All I got was that it's this cat.

"You look like a muscular, heavy breed of cats which do not reach full maturity until approximately four years of age and has soft fur like a rabbit, no please go comb your hair"!  What?

Anyway, it seems like Noah has inherited both Jon and my slightly unruly hair. It's taken a long time for it to grow in, he was pretty bald for a while, and it's still slowly getting thicker. Must be cold living in Michigan without hair, huh?

Noah would like us not to cut his hair. He wants to grow it longer. And this is fine with me, it's only that today, looking at him, I felt slightly embarrassed sending him off to school with a  mop that is starting to resemble a mini-James May.  Oh I just love myself some James May, but not on my kid's head. 

He's never had a real haircut if you can believe it. I've just trimmed it here and there.  He's due for a trim and some "shaping". It's teetering on the scary edge of Dutch Boy.
For me though, the length of his hair is not a battle worth fighting. I save all of that for getting him to eat and to bed at a decent time, and to hold my hand while crossing the street. Hair, it's just hair.

And, as you all know, I am slightly conformity-phobic! In my calculations, I would say at least 90% of all five-year-old boys have short haircuts, and with there being such little variation in available boys clothing, I'd rather him be a creative self. Following the flock, no, no, no.

It would actually be cool if he ended up like Captain Caveman. Maybe for a while.

Or maybe I like him just the way his is......................

Speaking of hair, this is what I did today:

That green gunk on my hair, it's so awesome. Imagine, taking a powdered plant, mixing it with water for consistency, eggs, yogurt and olive oil for moisture, cinnamon for smell, and paprika or coffee for reddish - brown highlights!  Isn't that so cool !? 100% natural, no chemicals at all. You get to play with mud and smoosh it all over your head. 

The bain of my existence is gray hair. Really really, seriously, you don't understand how much gray hair I have. My grandmother, and others on her side of the family, began to gray like I did, in their early twenties. Totally white by forty, and I'm sure on my way! It's really not fun. I have what I call "The skunk stripe", this two inch, solid band of white white hair along my part. I've been dying my hair for years, so most people don't know quite how bad it is.

Here's the thing, hair dye is not good for you, at all, and it finally dawned on me how terrible it is that I have been using these chemicals for such a long time. To make matters worse, I think that I have a very common allergy to one of the most prevalent and dangerous chemicals in hair dye, PPD.  Para-Phenylenediamine is found in 98% of hair dyes. It helps the colorant adhere to the hair, and it aids in staying power. 

The burning eyes, the pounding headache, the burning scalp, this was the allergic reaction that I had each time I colored my hair.  I've used  "natural" hair dyes from Whole Foods for the past two years, thinking they were less harsh. What I didn't know was that while these dyes were ammonia free, they were not PPD free.

Sigh.....so I gave in and decided just to take the plunge and go gray. No, WHITE! I would be white! By the time the "skunk stripe" was two inches wide, I just couldn't take it any longer. I was too young to look so old. And, it made me FEEL really old, not to mention ugly. :(

That's when I began a bunch of research. I found a few wash-out dyes that didn't have PPD, but they contained other chemicals, nearly as bad. I wasn't willing to put those products on my head every few days. 

Luckily one day,  The Lush Times came in the mail. LUSH!!! I love you Lush!!! It reminded me that henna is an option.

I was really skeptical and  decide to read a little more into henna, to see if it honestly could cover gray.

The opinions on that were mixed, but it did lead me, thankfully, to White Mountain Natural.   Oh Hai! I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

White Mountain makes a kit of Henna called  "Color the Gray".  It's a super long, two-step process that includes dying your hair with henna, and then dying your hair with another, darker form of the plant, indigo. First your white hair turns yellow from the henna, then you layer that with a green cast indigo to make brown! The first time around my white hair looked pretty green. Oops! But then, once I did it one more time, and only with the indigo in a dark brown color, I was left with medium brown highlights. It was great! The henna lasted a good month, and the more times I henna, the better the results. Henna doesn't penetrate the hair shaft, it lays on top. So, imagine adding sheer layers of color.

Ok, so listen to the best part. The BEST part is that henna is also known as an amazing conditioner. You guys, you guys, it's incredible! I am a poor girl with thick, curly, frizzy coarse hair. When I use the henna, my hair becomes smooth and super super soft and manageable for a long time. It's incredible. I also get a lot more body. I have no idea, but it works, light years beyond any conditioner or treatment I have ever tried. It's truly great. You should try it! Henna comes in many colors, including a neutral if you just want conditioning without color. Have fun!

One last thing on the Henna. I imagine that the box hasn't changed in a while, because it looks like this:

What the........?

Um, who came up with the idea to put sea lions on a box of hair color, instead of a women who used the color?

"I know! Let's put bloated sea lions on the front! Yeah, that's real purdy".

Well, whatever it is, I love the sea lions and I love the product!

xo

Today I .....

...... Learned a new word. BOONDOGGLE.  Which is strange because being that I am 32 years old, with a fairly good grasp of the English language.

[boon-dog-uhl, -daw-guhl].  That time my husband met his coworkers in Vegas to have "meetings" there. Maybe that was just a boondoggle. [boon-dog-uhl, -daw-guhl]

Well, maybe it wasn't, but whatever. I just like talking about boondoggles now. Hurrah for new hobbies!

....... Ate a six month old, freezer burned veggie corn dog for dinner, and it seriously still tasted good. Really. I'm not joking. Try it. 

......... Was running late and wasn't able to get my last errand done. I need to find a nice outfit to wear to my brother-in-law's Toledo wedding reception.  He was married in NYC in November and now there is a second reception in Toledo. Anyway, it seems like, as of late, my clothes have just had a rough time. Lots of snags and pills and tears. I wear things over and over for years, and slowly add a piece of two here or there. The only outfit that I can think of in good enough condition to wear, is oddly a dress that I bought in 2003! The thing is, I've worn it to every big event I've been to in Toledo and at home, oh....about twenty times! I even wore it to a rehearsal dinner in New York. It might be strange to wear it once again.

The good news is, I received two, TWO Anthropologie gift cards for Christmakah! So, hopefully tomorrow I can find time to go.

Not right for the party, but don't you love THIS dress?

Although........... Maaaaaybe with this sweater...........

............ Was looking online for dinner recipes to make from Trader Joe's products. I always go grocery shopping and come home with great stuff, but it never works out, in general, to whole meals. It's like I buy bits and pieces. Then I came across Trader Joe's Fan  .

Awww  Yeeeah.  Now we're talking. Thank you Trader Joe's fans.

How they make frosted wheat

Best viewed large, (and the ones below). Click on it!

Getting Out of the House!

Just so you know, last night I fell asleep at 7:00pm.  Being that I woke up around 6:00am today, I'd say that I caught up on all of the sleep that was missed the other night!

Some of the best advice I've gotten, when battling and worries, is to just go out side and walk. Yesterday was reeeeally cold, but after all of my errands were done, I bundled up, camera in two, and took an hour before pick-up to walk the beautiful grounds at Cranbrook.

A little Debussy,  a plush snow shower and Cranbrook; now THAT is the meaning of LIVING!

The grounds of Cranbrook, my favorite place on earth. Peace.

So Complicated Even I Don't Understand Myself

It's 1:00am, I have to be up in five hours, and I can't sleep.  Watching TV didn't work,  mindless trolling around Facebook didn't work. Laying in the dark listening to the quiet house certainly didn't work.  I have some new books I could read, but the one on hypochondria would just get me more anxious, the one on parenting  more frustrated.

Thinking, thinking thinking. Why do you have to go and think all the time girl!? Why can't it ever just be simple for me?  Eat, drink, sleep, eat, drink, sleep, eat, drink, sleep.

This was a REALLY great holiday break in the sense that:

1.) Jon was home for eleven days! This was a real treat, and nothing makes life easier and happier than a little company. Well, company from Jon.

2.) We accomplished one of our goals, five and a half years in the making! The basement, it now has a finished playroom. (See post below)  I also have this lovely office that I'm sitting in right now as we speak! It's such a nice feeling to have a space of my own.

3.) There was a lot less social pressure, household pressure, parenting pressure and volunteering pressure for two weeks. By the time school break started, I felt like I was about to crack. Sometimes I hide it well, and other times not. Interweb, I have myself in a muddle. I have too much on my plate and I'm not sure how to dig out. I think this is what my lack of sleep in about. Which, I'm sure I'll go more into later. But yes, this vacation was great because 75% of my pressure was reprieved for a bit. I could breath.

4.) I had help with Noah. The beautiful hearted, amazing and profound co-founder and matriarch of Noah's school, was recently published in a book. She, being over ninety years old now, and a pioneer in American gifted education, has written and contributed to many a published print. Her latest though, is on INTENSITY in the gifted. Oh yes, INTENSITY. That main characteristic of my particular child, present from the very moment he entered this world.  INTENSITY, he wakes up intense, spends the day intense, and falls asleep...intense.  It doesn't mean that he is always misbehaving, although believe me, five has been way worse that four so far. It just means that "EASY GOING" has never been in his vocabulary, he wouldn't understand it if he saw it. So mornings and school drop-offs and school pick-ups and afternoons and evenings are stressful and tense and emotional and emotions are emotional and everything is black or white or starkly good or bad and INTENSE.   Sigh.....So having Jon home to help with Noah, I was incredibly thankful for. 

5.) I got some friend time in. Real, quality, friend time. The kind where I'm feeling my real age, where I'm 32, not 52, where it's just us, or us and the friends, not us, the kid and the friend's kids. I love my friends, they energize me. Before we had Noah, Jon and I didn't have any friends with children. In fact almost none of our friends were married. They were off living these neat existences, in grad school, traveling the world. Many still are. Sometimes I feel right where I belong, but often, I feel old and tired beyond my years.  In January 2004 I was young and full of life and excitement and positivity and in awe with the great expanse of a future in front of me. Then, POOF! In just a few month's time I was married, found out that Noah was on his way, left a fun flat in town that we loved, to buy a little house, put grad school on hold and became exhausted. I went from what I imagined myself as, to an instantly made suburban housewife with a kid.  The grass is always greener, the grass is always greener. That's what I've told myself for years. And, I think it is, I just have to remember that.

Ah this picture makes me so sad. It's hard to look at. That's me, the real me, the old me. I'll never see her again. I remember that snow storm, I was SO excited to see the white fluffy blanket on the ground. I thought it was beautiful and poetic. I was thankful because newly back from living in San Francisco, I was was very homesick for the changing seasons.

This is me, I was in my little studio, in our neato flat. I was making barrettes and pins out of felt and glitter and flowers. There was a holiday antique, gift and  craft show going on that I was part of . It was such a happy time. We were getting ready for our wedding in February, and I was excitedly trying to find a good grad school program.

A few days later, after the last day of the craft show, Jon and our friends Caroline and Paul, and I, went out to dinner at Sangria. It is there that I would first start coming down with the flu. I had it pretty badly, but didn't freak out. Unlike now. I would. You know, freak out.

And just because he's wearing a turtleneck sweater, here is ilya in our neato flat. God, we loved that place. It had all of this great wood, and a formal dining room. And it was a five minute walk to two movie theaters and restaurants and bars and books stores and people. Young people.

My guess is, just like me, there are many people still up at 1:45am, as it is now. Many people who are dreading their first day back to work, or the first day of school. Or they just feel that big let down when Christmas is over. There's lots of things to stay up and worry about. I'm sure that I'm not alone.

What I am up worrying about is how can people be happy when so many horrible things *could* happen. Oh my gosh, have you read the news lately? The world is kind of sad, and kind of mean and kind of out of control.

 And I'm up dreading tomorrow because I just know, I just know that the stress is going to slowly creep up once more. And I'm going to feel exhausted inside once again. Overwhelmed and exhausted. There is something so incredibly embarrassing to admit that one can barely handle one's life. Especially such a lucky life as mine. Holding it all together with gum!

I'm fearing it all. The morning intensity with Noah, and the rush to get all of the errands done, the house work done, the volunteer work done, the emails done, the phone calls done before I leave at 2:30 or so to pick him up. My God, I even stress over school pick-up! Having to smile and be social even when I don't feel like it. My kid, the inevitable fight over something when he sees me. The pressure to give him attention, but make dinner at the same time, when I can't cook very well. What does it matter I think , my child doesn't really eat food anyway.  And poor Jon, I'm sure he would be happier with a wife that cooked him more meat. My dinners, they never really get eaten up, and all of that planning and running around and juggling cooking and parenting, not for much. 

And my Dad is coming to town and he wants to meet at the mall AGAIN. And I frickin' hate the mall. ARGH! And also, I'm supposed to like playdates but I don't really. I also hate the phone. Interweb, I hate the phone. I am an introvert that smiles and never shuts up, so nobody would ever have known my secret introversion, and perhaps that's most of this muddle that I'm in. Maybe.

Or maybe that it's the fact that I haven't taken my Ritalin for ten years, and that it's hard enough to juggle a full, busy life without ADD.  For me though, if I focus on one thing at a time, I can always get it done. If I slow down and think, and plan, I can be incredibly reliable, always on time, if not early! I am famous for being early! And, I never forget a thing. I took a class in college. It was life skills and time management for the ADDers. It REALLY helped. And I would say, if I had less on my plate these days, I would be much happier, as I could focus one task at a time. Rather than on 52 tasks at a time. 

Maybe what all of this is about, the lack of sleep, the worry, it's just simply that at the present moment, my life is a little like living in the middle of a ping-pong game. I constantly have things flying at me. It won't always be this INTENSE, but for right now, it is real enough for me and I'm just very tired and stressed out. 

Here is a great site that I read , ZEN HABITS.  I really need to take to heart the suggestions and  start now, for 2010! *

It's 2:00am, and I thought that typing would make me tired, but it hasn't really worked. Why do they say journal to get your feelings out? I don't think, in this case, it helped.

I wish you could see my cat right now. He's lying here and he's so cute.

None of my family wants to learn how to ski or snowboard. :(

I really miss it. Snowboarding was my love. So, I decided today just to go alone sometimes, because why not, right?

Today I also decided that I would like to learn how to play Debussy's Arabesque #1 on the piano. I don't play the piano, not really. But, if I can find one around here, I will learn to play Arabesque #1 for you. 

Earlier, in preparation for the coming week, anticipating major stressing out, I ironed five full outfits for Noah, and five full outfits for me!

I also stocked the refrigerator with five as complete as I could, lunches for Noah. Because just like I need yet ANOTHER thing to remember, his school is encouraging trash-free lunches. So, I have to fill a million little Tupperware cups full of things like yogurt and applesauce and fruit and veg.

The GIANT calendar, the one that I bought magnetic strips for, to hold it to our fridge. The one that I need to keep track of all of the places we need to be and the things we need to do. It just feel off the refrigerator with a thud. I have no idea why, but I should go investigate. I supposes that is a very ironic situation to end on. I'm sorry for all of this late night ranting. I think it's better to talk to you Internet, than to my cats, because that would be just crazy!

Good Night.

* On second thought, maybe it was the big coffee that I had at 8:00pm.

A New Year, A Less Anxiety Inducing Number

Happy New Year! Doesn't 2010 seem (knock on wood), so much better than 2009 already?! Maybe it's the OCD in me, but those odd number years, oh YUCK! I just can't seem to handle them.  I think odd numbers are scary, they freak me out. Two-thousand and NIIIIIIIIIIIINE. Ewwww. So we can all feel safe and breath now because it's 2010! (Knock on wood.) 2010 Wow, just look at that number, really. How balanced. Two zeros, a one and a two. Two tens equal a twenty.  That's better than a relaxing spa weekend!

I knocked on wood because I'm slightly fearful that all of this positive talk from myself and others about 2010, might just jinx us. (KNOCK ON WOOD!) We need a better year though, and my god, after the DECADE FROM HELL.......

Um people, you need to take a look at the photo essay: "The 10 Worst Things About The Worst Decade Ever".  Yes! We made number #9.  This is so sad. How can human beings be happy or light when all of this has gone on in the past ten years. Not to mention additional atrocities like school shootings, and Prop 8 and republicans. Ok, just kidding....ha ha. 

 It's a wonder we're not all on GleeMONEX....

Ok, ok. To even things out, here is a list of 10 Good Things that Happened in 2009. 

And this good thing also happened in 2009 technically. You know how we're always talking about selling this house, getting our of this tiny house? Since most likely A.) nobody would buy the place right now, as you've probably heard about the DETROIT HOUSING CRISIS, and B.) even if they did buy this place, our super artificially inflated 2004, top of the market price we paid with the  20% down wad of cash OMG would  be lost, forever! Because, in Detroit, this home is now worth a peanut and a half. Maybe two. I don't know. 

So we officially bit the bullet, or bit our complaining tongues. I'm thankful for what we have. It's really lonely in this neighborhood (not many kids), but I guess we just have to make the best of it and get creative.  It isn't our ideal of living right downtown somewhere, but at least we're still in a walkable community, 15 minute stroll into the heart of town.  The size is laughably small, but we finally took the initiative and did something about it. Taking what little space you have, and really considering your needs, and then altering that space into the most beneficial place it can be = happiness!

Let me please introduce our first ever DIY home improvement. Six days (and counting) of hard work. Team work! 

1. Our new workspace

Noah rarely used his little playroom, which was originally a den. So we decided to change it into the work space that Jon and I needed. A desk to do occasional work at for him, a place to write, edit photos and work on art for me!

One day, I will have clients over, and they will sit in these red chairs while we review their photos. Maybe.

2. The New Playroom

Um, have you ever seen our basement BEFORE? OMG. No. It was not great. Freezing, gray, drywall, industrial Berber carpet. Ahhhh! It was a cold, dismal cave with a mound of old toys.

Now it's this! A warm squishy pumpkin!

Gotta love those gourds!

What kid wouldn't want to PAR-TEY down here? Now all we have left to do is convince him to go down the basement and play. Not.exactly. working.....UGH.

3. I (kind of) sewed new panels for this old hutch. Some day, I'll fabulously transform all of our traditional hand-me downs in contemporary furniture through the magic of IKEA.

4.  The last thing that I want to do around here shortly is wallpaper the bathroom. I've given up on the expensive prospect of a new floor and vanity for now, and would rather hang and interesting wallpaper to distract. Here is is. You likey? Hurrah for tiny, single roll bathrooms!

Ok, now I have to go play some Wii. Happy New Year interweb!

xo, Lauren