HELLO MY SILVER SISTERS!!!!!!!!!!
Oh I LOVE, love, love YOU! We're in this together, Here for each other. Just know that. \(^-^)/
It's hard. I know it can be incredibly difficult to face all of your fears, even when you're just so tired of dying your hair and you're ready to let the REAL YOU shine through.
It's hard and it's emotional, and you second guess yourself, and people ask questions and little kids stare and you look in the mirror for after a while and say: "WHO AM I!?"
And that is precisely why I'M HERE! To cheer you on and to let you know that:
A.) YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS!
B.) That I PROMISE, it get EASIER and is all so incredibly WORTH IT in the end!
So please hang in there gorgeous silver sister! I have lots and lots to say on the subject. I have stories of my experience each step of the way, tips and tricks and insight. I want to help by YOU embrace YOU by sharing my little adventure, and the good things about coming out on the other side!
YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!
So let's begin!
Below are all of my gray hair related posts. If you have any questions or comments, please do not hesitate to leave a comment in the posts or to contact me at: HowBourgeois@gmail.com
I love hearing from my new friends!
A BIG WARM WELCOME!!!!
Here are all of my gray-hair posts to date. Enjoy!
1.) My Seven Best Tips And Tricks for Successfully Growing Out Your Gray.
2.) My Eight Best Secrets for Dealing With the EMOTIONAL Ups And Downs of Going Gray.
3.) My Top Four Tips for Getting the Nicest, Most Soft and Shiny Texture as You Grow Our Your Gray!
4.) Seven Steps to Creating the Cutest You- Gray Hair and All. How I Gave Myself A Fun Mini-Makeover And So Can You!
5.) Is Managing Your Hairstyle Making Your Gray Unhealthy, Or Worse, Falling Out!?
6.) That Time The Universe Gave Me Stomach Flu And When I Said: "Don't Care!" And Wore Leggings And Had My Hair GLAZED! Etc...Etc....
7.) Glaze Days!!! A Small Post-Salon Glaze Update!
8.) Californian Man-Babes, Gray Hair Products, The Oberon Queen Kingdom and the BEST Passover Stroganoff EVER!
9.) Where I Eat My Yogurt And My Number One Most Favorite Hairstyle For When You Grow Out Your Gray.
10.) Hi Lauren. This Is Lauren. Nice To Meet You! (My Gray Hair Introduction And Story).
11.) 50 Shades of Gray........ Hair. My Story.
12.) The Special Truth About Going Gray. A Little Pep Talk for My Silver Sisters.
13.) To Gray or Not To Gray!? Now THAT is The Question!
14.) What Having Gray Hair Taught Me in 2013.
15.) Growing Out Your Gray Hair: You WILL Feel Normal Again One Day! HAVE HOPE!
16.) A Gray Hair Product Review! Make-Up and Other Fun, Girlie Things for My Silver Sisters!
17.) My Hair Isn't Long and Gray Anymore! The Magical Power of Facing Your Fears. Plus, A Hair Product, Nail Polish and Lipstick Review!
18.) The Story of A Girl Going Gray. A History in Pictures! The End All and Be All of Gray Hair Posts - In Pictures!
19.) A Little Hair Accessory Tip for You!
20.) When You Have the Gray Hair Blues. My Top 4 Tips for Getting Through the Hard Times!
21.) Great Gray Hair Products and Makeup Round Up!
22.) A Gray Hair Update!
23.) The Holy Grail of Hair Products! If You Want Silkier, More Shiny Gray Hair, Try These Two!
24.) Losing my Graith - Gray Hair Faith
I'm so happy to see how beautiful you are! I'm 4 months into transitioning to gray and it makes me hopeful when I see your picture!
I'm so happy to see how beautiful you look. I'm just 4 months into my transitioning and seeing you makes me hopeful that my hair will turn out as nice as yours.
I really enjoy your blogs!
So nice to meet you! Thank you for your kind words. Your gray hair is GORGEOUS! It's so nice and bright! You will look beautiful. Just hang in there, ok? THe hardest part is this mid-transition. As soon as you can start doing things to break up the "skunk stripe", like a 1/2 up hairdo or using clips and barrettes, it's all much easier from there. I know this is really hard, but soon you'll be loving your new look and now more hair dye. Yay!
Thank for stopping by Jennifer!!!
I love love LOVE your blog and you look STUNNING with salt n' pepper hair!!! Beautiful!
I am 44 and just started growing mine out a month ago after years of saying "When I turn 45...." " When I turn 50....." I am looking forward to my gray!!!
Unfortunately, my hair grows really SLOWLY, so the pixie might be the way to go. Also, I work in a very corporate office environment, so the skunk stripe isn't looking too hot! LOL
I color my hair a yellow-y blonde and I'm thinking of dying the under layers a "Pepper" color and having more of an ash-blonde weaved on top to lessen the "stripe".
I've been looking online quite a bit since I made the decision to become a "Silver Sister" and I have to say that YOU are now my inspiration! Your picture is now on my phone and my computer desktop so I can keep focused on my goal.
Thank you SO much for posts~
Ohhhh, you are so sweet and so kind. Thank you so much for your comment. How nice of you. :)
I'm very happy to meet you!!!
HOORAY! Congratulations on your first month of growing out your gray! (Woo Hoo!) I love your enthusiasm, that says a lot, at least to me- that says that you're really ready now! I always say, just give it a shot, you have nothing to lose. I think you will love your grays and how healthy and easy your new hair color will be!
I totally get the whole skunk stripe not mixing with corporate. There are so many "tools" that can help you through the stripe phase, like the little color sticks for touch-ups. I used the stick by Roux. Also, I LOVED trying out a pixie cut for a while. It helped me through the transition. It was so much fun to play around with all the short hair styles. In the end, I prefer long hair on me, but I look fondly back on my short hair days. I'm glad I tried it! :)
You have some good ideas about how to ease your transition with weaving in some color. I always want to encourage my readers to do things that really help them to feel comfortable and confident with the process. My only other tiny did bit of info, is that I happened to go cold-turkey with hair color because I was able to. (Not working, so less pressure than a corporate environment). Not everybody can or wants to just stop with dye, but it did speed up the growing out process for me. I found it only to be difficult for a while, until I could pull my gray into a half-up hairdo. Before then, I just used a lot of color stick! Anyway, I just wanted to pass along that I was pleasantly surprise with the cold-turkey version of the grow out. It was easier than I thought it would be.
Thank you so much again Minette!!! I'm really happy to meet you. So glad that we all have each other to lean on. Keep us posted on how things are going. Hang in there, you're going to love your new hair!!!! :)
Can you post some pictures of your pixie? That is my next step (skunk stripe growing out of control and can't be covered anymore!) and I am SCARED! Short hair in winter? Egads!
Never fear, gray-haired Lauren is here!!! :)
Ok, yes, totally get it! I remember when my "skunk stripe" got to that out-of-control phase.
The good news is, it's only that way for a little while, and the extra good news is, there's so much you can do to help!
I'm guessing it's too wide of a stripe to keep covering with a root touch up stick. You might want to try a wash-out mouse color, like the ones by Roux. It's called Fanci-full. I also tried the powder spray in hair color by Bumble & Bumble.
The other option that it sounds like you're considering is a short cut! Ok, here is my deal with the short cut, it is completely FUN to try if you think you can be happy with it. I personally like myself better in long hair, but I had the best time wearing a short cut for a while. It was so much fun to play around with. It's super easy to get some great texture going with short hair too. That way, your stripe will blend in more.
Unfortunately, I have almost no photographs from my short hair time, which I regret so much! No reason, I was just busy and not taking as many pictures at the time. I enjoyed all of the fun styles that I came up with while my hair was short. I really wished that I had gotten more pictures. There is one pic, you can find it on this post:
My suggestion is to look online for shorter hairstyles that you like, print them off, and bring them to your stylist. Also, winter is cold, but this is a perfect reason to do what I did..... learn how to crochet and make a million ear warmer headbands!!!!
Good luck Susie. Hang in there!
I have happened upon your blog whilst looking through various things on the internet. I have to say you look absolutely stunning and I am inspired to see that younger women than me (44) are letting their grey grow through. I have just made the decision to ditch the dye after years and years of colouring my hair and fretting over re-growth. I think I am more peppered with strands of grey that so far, look quite a nice silver colour.
I begin my journey now! I have decided to have my mid length hair cut into a bob to help eliminate some of the excess dye..
I really hope I am brave enough to stick with it and it helps to know other women are doing the same. So thank you for all the funny and honest things I have read. I hope I look as lovely as you do.
I just stumbled upon your blog thanks to Pinterest (I searched for 'gray hair' and loved one of the pics of you that popped up) and I must say, your hair and the way that you style it is awesome. I started getting a lot of grays in my early 20s and now at 28, am feeling fairly self conscious. I grew up with my mother coloring her hair ever since I could remember, and I've never wanted to dye mine but was considering it.... after seeing your photos though, I'm pretty much sure that I won't. You look absolutely lovely, and your gray is so striking! I want that!
Thank you for such a nice comment. It's very nice to meet you! :)
I think you will absolutely LOVE the new YOU! Silver is such a great color, isn't it? It's just wonderful, not having to worry about re-growth. In retrospect, I realize how much time I spent worrying about my gray roots and stressing over how to properly color them. I think a bob will look adorable! Have fun, this is a nice time for playing around with your look. So nice to meet you again Juliet. You can do it!!! Go you!
P.S. My DREAM is to travel around England one day.(I've only been to London). You're living my dream! Hooray! :)
Awww, that's so sweet of you. Thank you very much for taking the time to stop and write. Wow! I feel honored that I helped a bit with the "to dye or not to dye" question. It's such a personal decision, but I think the nice thing is, if somebody decided to let their grays grow out, you can always go back to dye if it's not your thing. Nothing to loose!
Thank you again, your comment made me smile. :)
See you around Pinterest!
Hi Lauren - How neat to have a title for my new look- Silver Sister - I like it! I am 10 weeks into my gray adventure at age 41 and it's really quite intriguing to watch it come in! I am so happy I found your blog. Like you, I am incredibly introverted, but not shy. I only read non-fiction, and I opted for something other than 2.2 children (I have 4 sons- I feel like I really EARNED those gray hairs!). Like one of the other reviewers mentioned, I have been adding small amounts of lowlights to my skunk stripe and it's done wonders for making the stripe blend with the old, dyed hair. Anyhow, I look forward to hearing more about everyone's adventures as authentic silver beauties.
It's nice to meet you. It sounds like we have some things in common! I'm glad that you've stopped by. I'm so happy to hear that your growing-out process has been ok with the blending of the low lights.That's fantastic! I'm also happy to meet another "silver sister"! :)
Nice to meet you!!!
Hi Lauren. I love your blog!! I have decided with help from your blog, encouragement from my hubby and lack of willingness to give my hairdresser all my money, to grown out my grey!! ( wow, super long sentence!!) I am 38 and having been dying my hair for over 10 years to cover the grey. I am doing it with a friend as well, which I think will help when we get frustrated with the process!! thanks so much for your inspiration!!
Your Canuck Fan!
So nice to meet you, AND to have a Canuck fan! I feel so loved. :)
WOW, you have a friend to go gray with!? That is just about the best thing I've heard all week. How great! I bet that will really help. It sounds like you have a nice support system too. I have a feeling that you will be just fine!
Really, once you say "goodbye" to all of the time, money and mess of dying your roots, it's sooooooo wonderful. I think you'll find it as freeing as I did!
I'm so happy that I helped, and I'm even more happy to have a community of silver sister like you!
Thank you for stopping by. Let us know how you're doing. Good luck Jenn!!!!
I just find your blog and I think is awesome! Since I already decided not to dye my hair anymore, I've been dying my hair since I'm 20 y.o. because I started to have gray hair at that young age....I've been dying my hair over 30 years now!! OMG!!! I'm just 4 weeks but the good side is that my hair grows very fast. So, wish me look into my transitioning and I will be visiting you very often to get some inspiration and continue growing my gray hair.
Oh I wish you so so so much luck!!! :)
I know that you can do it! And, it's wonderful that your hair grows so quickly. It's very nice to meet you! Let's all help each other!
Hi Lauren stopped by to say so happy to see you onG&P it's a great site as well as yours. Thanks for the support you give to others on growing out the greys. Hope you & your family have a Merry Christmas 🎄 love your Blog & oh The Hair!!!
Oh you are so so sweet and kind. Thank you, your words made me feel happy. I'm so thankful for you and other readers who help to support ME! I couldn't have done it without you guys! :)
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. Thank you so much again. <3 <3 <3
Hello Lauren. I took the decision last week bt to dye my hair again. My Mum just died so I guess I will get more grey hair, stress etc.
I have wanted to be grey for a long time and now is a good a time as any to start the growing out process. It feels quite liberating in a funny way! Love K x
Oh I am so so sorry to hear about your Mom's passing. I can't even imagine. :( KNow that my heart is going out to you right now. I'm sending a hug! (>' -')>
I feel as though choosing the right time to grow out your gray is such a persona thing. Go easy on yourself right now. If you don't quite feel up to it, that's fine, and if you are ready to start, that's fine too! You are right though, it is COMPLETELY liberating!!! Iy's absolutely wonderful and has changed me in so many ways, and I hope it will be as exciting for you too!
I wish you lots of luck. Thinking of you Karen!
I found your blog - totally inspirational - I'm turning 49 soon and am considering leaving the grey in my hair and not dying it anymore. I have talked to my hairdresser but she says I am too young. I feel that it is time and I deserve to be proud of the grey I have earned. In 2009 I had lost my husband and then 2 months later, my mom. The following year wasn't much better as I lost a close friend. At that time I was almost grey but was coerced into dying my hair to look younger. Unfortunately that doesn't take away the wrinkles and I'm not into plastic surgery. I have decided not to dye my hair anymore and let my grey grow out. My husband loved me for being the women I was, not the image everyone expects. You have helped me to regain my confidence in my decision to go grey.
Thank you very much
I just read your comment. It was so incredibly touching. I'm very sorry to read about your husband and mother's passing, and the passing of your friend as well. :(
It sounds like you are ready for new beginnings, and it sounds like you are going to succeed!
You must be so strong, it really does sound like it! As silly as this may seem, making the decision to let your silvers shine through in a way is also saying: "I'm strong, I'm doing what's good for ME!" It's just so much more than hair.
I'm sorry that your hair dresser isn't being supportive. The best thing I ever did, was find a stylist who completely embraced my grays! Not only did she help me feel good about my choice, she gave me tips on how to keep my hair looking shiny and healthy! If you are able to, you might want to look around for somebody who's more open. If not though, that's ok, you have me! GO TRACEY!!!! :) Also, I've found some AMAZING groups on Facebook like "Gray and Proud". If you don't already know them, you should take a look!
If there is one thing that I can say, it's that choosing to let my gray hair grow was one of the best decisions I've ever made. It's transformed me both inside and out.
Sending love and support your way Tracey! Thank you for writing!
I didn't realize that you live in Michigan. I do too, in Greenville! My grays started showing in my early 20s and 20 years later I'm letting it go natural after years of dyes and highlights. I'm 3 months into it, but the highlights are making for a smooth transition.
Your hair has gotten so long and looks beautiful!
Hiya Neighbor!!!!! :)
Hi Cathy! Thanks for the comment. I hope all is well in your neck of the woods after that crazy storm! We only had rain and a bit of ice, but I know you are north west of me. I do hope all is well and that the storm passed you without incident.
GO YOU!!! Cathy, that's awesome that you're growing out the gray and that it's been a smooth transition. Fabulous! I know you're going to look like a gorgeous silver sister before you know it. :)
Take Care and let us know how it's going!
HI Lauren! I just came across your blog after doing my own search on the *possibility* to rebel again dying my hair. I'm 34 and have decided to try to grow out my silver... I wrote my own blog post and hope to keep it up! Granted it's not as white as other women, but it's still makes me feel uneasy! Ahh! Thanks for your blog :)
Thank you for all of your information and pictures! I stopped coloring in 2007 and have many ups and downs still :/
I just wanted to ask you and others that have commented on here, how do you keep your confidence up when your hubby has no sign of gray coming in
I feel like when we go out or I meet his co-workers they must think, wow he is married to an old maid :(
I am 37, began my transition at 31 and always wonder what people are thinking about my hair and even when I do get a compliment, I sometimes feel like the person doesn't really know what to say so they just try and be nice.
Thank you for listening and I really do appreciate all your posts!!
Thanks soooooooooooo much for the comment and for the link on your blog. I just read your post. it was great! I'm excited to follow along on Bit's Corner on the World to see what happens!
I too became tired of dying my hair every 3-4 weeks. It can be a pain, can't it? I love the photos of your silvers. They're beautiful against your dark hair. I wish you lots of luck if you decided to stick with it and grow your hair out. It's so nice to meet you Liz!!!
Thank you so much for your heart-felt comment. That takes bravery! It's funny that going gray not only effects our outside, but also our inside! Emotions and worries included.
I'm so sorry that you're having these concerns. I would have to guess that worrying about looking much older than one's spouse and wondering if compliments are real, must be VERY common among those of us who are going gray.
I am lucky in the sense that for whatever reason, I've almost never had these worries cross my mind. (It must be just because I worry about EVERYTHING else!) ;)
Or, well, it might be because my mindset is in a place where I finally don't care if other people like or dislike my choice in hair color. I know that sounds harsh, and I care for others, but now, their opinion on something small, like me having gray hair or not, doesn't register. Also though, and I'm guessing the same is for you, we younger gals with grays are SO lucky because we have YOUNGER FACES! Whenever you might fear that you look like an old-maid next to your hubby, remember, your face shows that you are young! I would doubt that other people are getting confused. I can understand your fear, but I think others know.
I feel as though the best thing to remember, is that you had the courage to stop dying your hair, and you just need to also hold on to that courage when your inner "what-ifs" start to pop up. Reminding yourself that these are just your worry thoughts , might be helpful.
Ah! You know, this all reminds me of my New Years post. Have you seen it? http://howbourgeois.blogspot.com/2014/01/what-having-gray-hair-taught-me-in-2013.html
I'm guessing that you have, but the things I list from that post: What Having Gray Hair Taught me in 2013, they can all pertain to you right now!
So, in a nutshell, having gray takes a little bit of inner work and inner courage. It's so so hard, it really is, and my heart goes out to you. Please though, remember, if you just hang in there, and keep following up those worry thoughts with positive, full or courage thoughts, you'll get there! You are you! You have some gray! That's awesome! Most of the world will thinks it's neat, and even if a few don't, it doesn't have anything to do with your life. Live big and free and fun! :)
Hope this helps. Thank you very much for such and important question.
Hey there, I came across your article and loved it. I have decided to stop coloring my hair and go grey. I too started coloring my hair in my twenties . It's been 8 weeks and my lovely platinum strands are shining bright in a sea of black. I have quite a skunk stripe going on theses days. (lol). My dad asks me everyday if I have caved and colored my hair, trust me I think about it everyday.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment!
Listen, just hang in there! I know the skunk stripe...it's crazy....it's the hardest past, but really really, the reward at the end is SO great! I bet you will love your new hair. If it gets to a point where you've feeling super excited and revved up about not going back to the hair dye, you can ask your Dad to stop asking you when you're giving in to the dye. I'm sure he's just playing around, but you need all of the support that you can get right now.
Lots of luck to you!!! Thank so much again Monique! :)
I will be turning 40 this year and have embarked on many new adventures. I started college this year. That was the scariest thing I have done to date,lol
I was searching around the inter web and came across your lovely smiling face. I have to say you have encouraged me to go for it. This old school punk rock girl is going silver. Being naturally blonde and the hair line around my face is white. (when I don't color my hair,lol) So it will be a surprise to unmask and see the natural me.
Thank you for sharing your experience and being so inspiring.
xoxox , Kat
WOO HOO!!! WHAT a huge year for you! I feel so inspired by your comment. Way to go! I am picturing you rocking the gray, truly owning it and glowing. I often think that the blond to white transition looks so soft and not as jarring as darker color. I hope it goes well for you. If you are up to it, keep me posted on how it goes. I'm sure it will be fantastic!
Hi! So glad to find this blog! I'm 35 and have been covering my severly gray hair for over 10 years now. Decided in November that I was DONE! A few friends are being supportive but there are just as many who think I'm crazy. I'm so excited to not hide behind my hair anymore and not feel shame for my natural state!
Again me, Laura. I'm so happy I took the decision to going gray and even if I'm just 10 weeks now and know that is a long road, is ok, I'm so happy for it. I come to visit you very often to find encouragement and keep going, thank you so much.
I have just one question, do you use a special shampoo or do you know if there is something to prevent the gray hair become like yellowish gray hair? Lucky me so far this is not my case...but you never know, right?
Looking forward for your answer and thanks again, have a nice week,
I have been silently reading your post without commenting on your blog for about six month or even longer. I have been admiring your courage and wishing I had the same courage one day. I think that time has come I have stopped dying my hair for about 2 months now.
I found my first gray at 20 in boot camp for the Navy 14 years ago. It was after the birth of my daughter 7 years ago when my grays came in like they were in battle to conquer the rest of my head.
I have a daughter that is multiracial with beautiful curly hair and we meticulously maintain her hair to keep the integrity of it. I stress the importance of keeping her hair healthy and to embrace the beautiful natural curls. And one day I realized that I don't give the same respect to my hair by dying it every three weeks to cover the beautiful gray hair that I have. You have now become my gray hair inspiration and I want to say thank you.
I'm so happy to have found all of you here! My story is much like my silver sisters, I found my 1st gray hair at 12! (right in the bangs) yanked that puppy out and moved on...As a teen dyed it for fun, then of course, HAD to start dying it. Well, now I'm 48 and vowed this year to embrace the real me, So in November I stopped dying. My hair is coming in salt and pepper and I'm liking it a lot!! I have not taken a picture yet, but I'll take one soon. Anyway, in the meantime, I really look forward to a long sisterhood and support! take care! Louise
I'm so excited to be part of the sisterhood of silvery goddesses! Here's me in a nutshell: I'm 48 years old, and I started colouring my hair for fun as a teen, then the gray really started, so I HAD to color, and have been every 4 weeks since then. This year, I vowed to be real and be true to me, So, I stopped colouring 3 months ago, and 2 weeks ago I got a wrist tattoo! I have 3 teenage boys, 3 animals, the big fella is pictured with me, a busy job and no interest in wasting time and money dying my hair! I look forward to checking in to read about all of your adventures and sharing support and ideas, thoughts about life and more with all my new friends! Take care, Louise
I'm so happy to stumble on your site! I've been going grey since I was 22. At 38 I'm tired of the coloring and all day process at the salon. I'm not getting any support through thus process so I am greatful for your blog!
Hey! So glad i found your blog! I cut my long curly brunette locks into a pixie this year and let the gray do its thing and I love it. TBT, i get more complements now than before! Rock on!! Wendy
Hi Lauren! So glad i found your blog! I am the first of my friends to let the gray have its way, and I am thrilled with it. i cut my long curly brunette hair into a pixie and let it go! thanks for posting the tips and advice! Rock on!!
Hi Lauren! I'm your newest follower! Tada! I found my way here as I was soul searching about letting my gray roots grow out. After reading about 20 articles I finally came across your blog. And, I am totally on board with the going gray thing.
I always said when the gray came I would go gracefully. But, once it started, it seemed there was some big event that I did not want the skunk stripe for and so began coloring my hair. Sigh and we all know what a vicious cycle that is! Now, 4 years later since my first coloring, I have decided 2014 is the year. I'm a redhead and the roots are going a mix a dark gray to white in places. Tomorrow I will get my last hair coloring as we are going to a wedding in Nashville next week and I will be meeting my daughter's entire future family of in-laws. I know, I'm a chicken. But, that WILL be my last color. Seems like my roots grow out a half inch every 4 weeks and this is just too much up keep.
I'm also hoping this timing will work to my advantage as my hair tends to fade in the warmer months as well. I am even considering a short hair cut after this wedding. I've NEVER had hair shorter than shoulder length. But, I've NEVER had gray hair either. So, thanks for the helpful blog! I look forward to keeping up with you!
P.S. I noticed you live near Detroit. I do as well! So, "Hey, neighbor!"
Hiya Tammy!!! Hiya neighbor!!! I was so excited to get your comment. Thank you for taking the time to stop by and leave a note! <3
You know what Tammy, it's funny because just last night I read somewhere....(gosh...where was it? I was reading so much on Facebook and online...I can't remember now, but somebody said that gray hair looks lovely on all red heads. So, it sounds like you already have some great advantage in all of this! :)
Yes, I so know that cycle of meaning to grow out the gray, then having a big event come up and then having your roots done. It's ok! It really is. What I personally found was that when you're really really ready, then that time is right! You'll know it, you will feel it inside. From your comment, I have a feeling that you are committed and ready.
I re-dyed my hair because I was chairing an auction, and then the next time around, we had my brother-in-law's wedding and even surprising to myself, I did not have my roots done. I used my root touch-up crayon and hoped for the best!
The point being is that I believe in things happening for a reason, and when it's the best time for you, it'll happen. So keep chugging along, you'll get there!
It's neat that your hair lightens in the summer. I bet that will be helpful. Oh! And a short cut. I have to say, it was a scary change for me, but ended up being a ton of fun! Sometimes a big change (going gray), calls for a dramatic entrance! In the end I wanted long hair, but the short cut grew out fairly quickly and it was a neat experience.
There's no right or wrong with all of this, so just follow your heart. So nice to meet you Tammy. Take care and keep being YOU!
Well 2 weeks ago I touched up my roots and decided I just can't keep this up! I began greying in my mid twenties and I've been coloring my hair for 13 years. I'm just really tired of it. I have very long hair so this will be a lengthy journey but every adventure begins with one step! I turn 42 in April and can't wait to see what I look like at 43 :) Thanks for the inspiration and helpful tips. I'll have to post a pic when my silver starts coming in!
I'm so glad I found you! I've been trying, unsuccessfully, to let my grey grow for a while, but can't get passed the "god, I look old" stage.
I've been saving and looking at so many pictures of beautiful women with silver, grey, platinum, and white hair that I feel encouraged! After all, they look beautiful, and graceful, why do I think I look "old" when I think they look terrific!?
You have inspired and encouraged me to do this...my hairdresser thinks it might be easier for me if we start blending blonde and highlighting to avoid that tell-tale root line. Any thoughts on this? Please share. By the way, yours is one of the pictures I find very attractive, and not at all aging...you look beautiful!
You inspired me to stop coloring my hair and let my "natural highlights" shine through! After reading your blog and seeing what a gorgeous woman looks like with gray hair, I am confident I am doing the right thing for me. I will be a young 54 this year and I know that the gray hair will not define me as " old", but as me. Thanks for being the inspiration to me and to so many others!
You inspired me to stop coloring my hair and let my "natural highlights" shine through! After reading your blog and seeing what a gorgeous woman looks like with gray hair, I am confident I am doing the right thing for me. I will be a young 54 this year and I know that the gray hair will not define me as " old", but as me. Thanks for being the inspiration to me and to so many others!
I am very grateful that I found your blog. Your attitude about going gray and embracing real beauty is very motivating for me. I have decided to follow your lead and let my gray stay :) At 44 years old, I am not getting much support, and family and friends don't think I will be able to "go the long haul". I plan on revisiting your site often for silver sister support!
You CAN do this! I'm sorry about your friends and family not believing that you're in this "for the long haul." From my experience, and from what I have seen, when a person is really ready, and they have personally important reasons to stop dying their hair, then it happens! I know you can have success too. :)
Growing out your hair is hard, but there are so many great things that come from it.
I'm glad you're here! If you ever have any questions, please feel welcome to ask. Hang in there. It gets easier for sure.
Have a GREAT weekend!
I enjoyed your going grey experience. Thanks for sharing. You look amazing. I read most of the posts from others and no one has mentioned shaving the head. It would be way drastic but you would avoid using the root cover up and the badger look. A nice wig to get you through the public viewings and ala natural at home. Has anyone tried this? Would like to hear how it went.
Wow, great question! Thanks for you compliment and for stopping by with your comment. In the past, I've remembered seeing a couple people who did shave their head to start from scratch with their gray hair. It seemed like it worked as far as you mentioned about avoiding the "skunk stripe." If a person is bold enough, and you feel like it won't play with your emotions too much, then I say move power to you! Go for it!
All of this said, if I had to guess, most of us are not gutsy enough to fully shave our head. Even more so, from my experience, having the gray come in and seeing that, it's emotional. You work through the emotions of a new hair color, a new image, a new stage in life, a new identity. Shaving your head would add a whole other layer of "getting used to." It might be VERY hard for some people. If a person can deal with that, then I tip my hat to them! It just seems hard to deal with both extreme things at once. But all of this said, there are some confident, strong silver sisters out there! So maybe it would truly be ok for more people than I realize.
Your idea about the wig, that's a great idea! (Shaved head or not!) I had a headband with this fun synthetic hair on it that helped to cover some of my roots. For me, it was a bit warm and the headband gave me a headache, BUT that said, not everyone is me! I say if it can help, by all means, yes!
For all the trouble this whole growing out our hair stuff is, the end result and freedom is so much more worth it. It was worth the embarrassing roots and all that, 10 times over. Hang in there anonymous, and thank you again for your comment!!!!
I am not this hair.
I am not this skin.
I am the soul that lives within.
A good thing to remember during this transition.
That is an absolutely beautiful quote. It says it all. Thank you so much for sharing, I am going to remember your words everyday. What a fabulous mantra.
So much love to you.
I'm posting from Greece and I discovered your blog in an attempt to find out about women under forty who are turning gray. I need to say that you look BEAUTIFUL with your gray hair, don't ever change it! I am 38 and have decided to stop coloring my hair...although I have about 5-10% grays, I already feel awkward about my decision, but seeing you makes it all better! Thank you for creating this blog, keep up the good work.
Dear Anonymous friend from Greece!
Thank you so very much for you kind and encouraging comment. When I stopped dying my hair, I too looked around online for any information on women under 40, who are going gray. At least back then, there was not much information! The good news is, more and more women are talking about this journey everyday. I'm so happy that you've found this blog, and glad that it can help a bit. As I always say though, "we all help each other!" :)
Thank you again for your encouragement. Much love!
I came across this blog through a google search, i guess it doesn't help much because it seems to be mostly aimed at females ( i am a guy).
I am not going grey (yet) but i have caught very minor white hairs and only in my mid 20's. They basically are hard to see and blend in with my other hair.
If someone is as attractive as the person who created this blog it seems sort of irrelevant what color your hair is to a certain degree. Also her face looks quite youthful anyways.
Personally as a male i wouldn't like to go grey so soon i am hoping i can hold up at least until i am 40. However i much rather HAVE GREY hair then no hair at all.
Hi Anonymous guy friend! :)
Thanks!!! Such a nice comment!
I do hope that your gray hair stays away until 40 like you mentioned, but I have to tell you...... gray hair looks GREAT on guys! (That's just my personal opinion.) I remember in college, when I was about 19, there was a boy in my dormitory who's hair completely white! I always thought it looked neat and distinguished.
Thank you again for your kind words. Please try not to worry too much about your gray hairs. I'm sure they blend in and kind of hide at this point. It's great to just be your unique you! :)
I found a picture of you on Pinterest after I had decided to stop colouring my hair. I'm a brunette with lots of white hairs at the temples - I cannot be bothered to dye my hair dark brown anymore.
I will be turning 40 this year - me, a happy mum and a fashionable school teacher who always loves to sport a red lip :) it is time to become completely true to myself.
Your picture encouraged me. I carry it with me on my iPhone, for I foresee some pretty hard times (how long will it take for the grays to beat the dyed locks?)
Thank you and much love from Holland
I came across your site in an effort to find ideas for letting my hair go gray. I just turned 56 (yikes!), and in my early years, had quite pretty long natural ash blond hair that picked up highlights from the sun. Sometime in my early 20s, a hairdresser friend suggested I try some additional highlights, and that put me on the highway of hair processing for the next 30 years. At one point, I was bleaching my hair all over, leaving me with a very unnatural yellow-white color. Why my friends and family never told me how ridiculous I looked is beyond me! Then came the dark colors to tone it down and to hide the very slight gray that started appearing in my late 30s. There were more honest comments from my family about the dark not complimenting my skin tone, but for those who had never known me as a blond, they think this is my natural color because of my brown eyes.
Since I look young for my age, I’ve been able to get away with the dark for the past 10 years or so, but the last few times I’ve colored my hair with permanent dye, my scalp burns, I feel faint, have trouble catching my breath and my heart races and palpitates. These things don’t seem good. I also tried a color stripper and thought I was going to pass out from the fumes. Fear, along with a more sincere desire to embrace my age are my motivators for discontinuing all the processing once and for all. I am also making a concerted effort to live a chemical free life in general.
After reading your blog, I’m reconsidering my original plan to use highlights or demi dyes in the interim. My biggest concern is the dreaded skunk streak; it will be very, very prominent going from dark brown to light gray. In my job, it is important to have a very professional look. I’ve started telling my family and co-workers I’m going to do this, and so far, all have been supportive. This gives me more courage and solidifies the commitment. So, wish me luck and thank you so much for being a wonderful inspiration to me and so many others. I am already relieved to know I’ll never have to dye my hair ever again!
Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your story. Wow! You have an interesting hair-story! I was imagining the color changes that you described, and then I was imagining those not-so-great reactions that you were also describing to the hair dye. :(
Kim, I'm so sorry, and I can related! The scary thing about sensitivities and allergies to hair dye (and this includes permanent dye, semi-perminent and temporary) is that with each application, we run the risk of a more severe reaction. It sounds like you are being very careful, so that's good. Honestly, I feel as though the risk of a severe reaction is not worth it. I can also relate with you 100% about trying to use less chemicals in your day to day life. I started down the road just like you, because of reactions and the feeling that these chemicals can't be great for us.
I was so happy to read that you have had support from family and friends as you've started discussing your plan to go natural. That's fantastic and half the battle! So you're already off to a great start!
As for needing to look professional during the grow out process, that is tricky, but there is definitely lots that you can do! I employed the root touch-up sticks and Bumble & Bumble's hair powder in dark brown. Also, this sounds a little extreme, but you could even consider a wig or a 3/4 fall. The awkward phase is not forever, and with a little creativity, it just might be do-able. Think pretty headbands, scarves and creative hair styles to hide the line of gray and dark brown!
Also, the thing to remember is that you can try growing out your gray, and if it just doesn't work, your can always go back to color. Although, hopefully henna color, not those harsh chemicals! Btw- henna makes a mess, smells like mud and can turn one's hair bright red or even green, BUT once you get the hang of it, it can be a wonderful chemical-free alternative to dye! :)
I'm sending you so much luck and positive cheer Kim. I hope things go smoothly for you. If you have any questions, I'm here! I know the transition can be difficult in the begging, but the great news is,is that it does get much easier after a few months, so hang in there if you can!
Thank you again for coming by!!!!
So, I started my growing out journey a couple months ago... mainly after reading your blog. I'm about two inches in, and periodically find myself struggling a tad bit. Luckily, I am able to pop back over to your site and trouble shoot whatever issue I'm in the midst of currently... or just gather some words of encouragement. I really appreciate you sharing your journey. More helpful than I can say. I've even started documenting my growth via Instagram (#greatwhitegrowout)... seeing the progress is so helpful.
Hi Abby!!! (>'-')>
Oh you are so sweet, and I am incredibly honored that How Bourgeois is helping you with this process. Honestly, I could not have grown out my own gray hair without the help of others and hearing about their experiences too! How lucky I feel to all have each other! I can't express how many great things come from growing out your gray. The only problem is, the good stuff happens after a few difficult months in the beginning. :(
It's so worth it though!
The awesome thing is, is that you're already two inches in! That is a lot, t really is! A big "Bravo!" Abby, that isn't easy. If you can come this far without going back to hair dye, you can grow all of your gray out. You can do it! :)
When I was about two inches in, that's when I really began to use my Roux Tween Time touch-up crayon. There are so many different brands of temporary touch-up products on the market. Also, I had some success with Bumble and Bumble's hair powder spray in my hair color at the time, dark brown. There are a lot of options. One fun thing is that I tried a bunch of new hair styles, like new ways to part my hair, to pull it back and braids to hide that harsh like between my gray growth and old color. I also had fun with headbands and cute fabric scarves.
It all goes by quickly though, and before you know it, you have a beautiful, new hair color!
I love that you are documenting your journey. I'd love to see! I'm so sorry, I went to find your hashtag on Instagram, but for some reason, it's not popping up. I will try again!
Thank you for taking the time to write Abby. I'm sending you so much luck and cheer. It sounds like you're off to a good start. Hang in there!!!
I came across your blog several months ago as I agonized over the decision to stop coloring my hair. As I read your story I could relate so much to your thoughts and feelings....what will my hubby, friends, strangers, think, how will I look, etc. I just cried as I read it. It helps so much to know that other people have the same struggles we have and have persevered through. I am 38 and have been coloring since a teenager. I am about 4 months into the transition process and am feeling stronger everyday. Reading your blog and others like it have helped so much. Thanks for sharing and being so open and vulnerable with your feelings. It has really made a difference for me. I have a sweet 6 year old named Noah too. Your son is adorable.
Awww, I'm crying just reading about you crying! I wish so much that I could reach out and give you a BIG hug. I understand so much what you were expressing in your comment. (>'-')>
Thank you so much to you too! For taking the time to share. I'm so happy that you could find me, and now I know you!
Congratulations on being four months in. Christy, that's BIG! I would say that most people, myself included, give up by the 6-week mark. If you can make it to month 4, you are so amazing and completely able to do this! I'm glad to hear that each day, you're feeling stronger. GO YOU!!!!
Over time as your hair grows in more and more and everybody becomes used to your new look, it won't feel quite as emotional and scary. Don't get me wrong, this decision is totally emotional and scary, but things start to settle down and feel more "normal", what can be really nice. So you hang in there! :)
Please come by and let me know how things are going if you'd like! Thank you for your kind words too. Noah's are so sweet, I'm sure your Noah is just as much a sweetie as mine! :)
Take care Christy. Hang in there!!!
Hi, Do you have any ideas on make-up colors to use when growing out and going to gray hair after dying your hair with brown shades? I don't wear a lot of make-up but was curious about your thoughts on colors of eye shadows, blush, etc. that might look best during the transition and when you have the silver or gray hair?
Hi there! That is a GREAT question! Thank you! Please pardon my short-ish comment, but I need to leave to pick up my son from camp and wanted to be sure to get right back to you!
I had the very same question that you did regarding new make up choices when growing out your gray hair. I also went from brown hair to gray! I just looked back and found a post called "7 Steps to Creating Your Cutest You , Gray Hair and All" that I wrote earlier in the year that kind of addresses your question. I will link to it in my comment below and will also add it to the list on the Going Gray? HOORAY! page.
I think the post from earlier in the year might hopefully help a bit. Because we all have different skin tones and eye colors, different shades of make up will do different things to our look. My biggest recommendation is to play around with swatches of color near your face to see what colors "brighten" you up! There is a video that explains this process in the blog post.
Also, just in my personal experience, I felt that wearing make up during your gray hair transition can be a very important pick-me-up , both for your changing look and your self-esteem. Sometimes the gray made me feeling washed out, and the subtle pop of color you get from make up, really helped me to feel a tad more confident.
Some people will look great in bold colors, others like myself tend to look our best in soft, rose tones. Mascara really seemed to make a nice impact on bringing out my eyes, and keeping my eyebrows defined with powder and an angled brush made me feel more polished. Ah! Never underestimate the power of a title blush. Play around, HAVE FUN and find your new best new you! :)
I hope this helps. Thank you very much again for your question. If you would like more specifics, please just let me know and I'd be happy to help! I think your personal colors would really depend on your personal eye color, and undertones. My guess is that you can continue to wear the colors that you always have, you just might need to adjust their intensity, either up or down.
Just wanted to say thank you for giving me the courage to start and keeping me going through the transition. I'm now nearly seven months in transition. The kids have got used to it - comments you were one colour, then tabby and now tortoiseshell (we live in a cat household!) and husband is now fully behind it. Most of the time I don't think about it but I am getting bored with the rate of growth:) having a line running around the top of my ears has prompted several off the cuff conversations with strangers and how to go about going grey.
It's also given my teenage daughter the courage to stand up and be herself against teenage stereotypes. If your mum has a mental hairstyle and doesn't give a hoot what other people think I definitely don't need to conform with an expensive t-shirt.
Thanks for keeping me going
THANK YOU!!!! \('-')/
What a FANTASTIC comment you shared. I absolutely love what your courage did for your teenage daughter. Yet another way that daring to go gray can help our world and other women and girls!
Thank you for your nice words, I'm so glad that How Bourgeois could help you to keep going, but 99.9% or that perseverance came from YOU! So a big pat on the back and a "bravo!" :)
I adore the part where you compared your graying colors to cats. From a fellow cat lover, I say well done! Ha!
I know that things can feel like they are taking such a long time. Especially mid-growth. The good thing is, is that you are truly getting closer and closer to the finish line! With so much time and effort in, before you know it, you'll be done.
So please, hang in there Debbie and feel proud of what you've already accomplished!!! (I know you will, but I just want you to know that you can do it!) :)
Thank you again for sharing. I'm so glad you've stopped by!
OOh Lauren, thanks for giving me a further boost. I wrote my original comment on my 45th birthday having found my first grey hair on my 21st birthday! I only started dyeing my hair because I got fed up with people asking my age then adding the comment that I was "very young to have such a lot of grey hair" I was also having a bit of a wobble last week because we were about to visit France and I was feeling under pressure prior to a visit to such a stylish country. France you were lovely, no stares, comments or shrugs. I just put on my biggest smile and drank wine :)
Two further things have happened which may help some others. First of all my teenage daughter commented that once my hair had completely grown out it would look good/be fun to colour the tips with pastel hair crayons - now I just need to get her to approve of my joy at knitting in public. Secondly I went cold turkey hence the line around my ears but it has grown in to a soft grey around my face and for the first time EVER I have been able to rock red lipstick. My hair is starting to complement my face colour (does that make sense or do I need more coffee?), it's making the colour of my eyes stand out and my English/Celtic colouring can finally work with red lipstick. So once again thanks for the initial inspiration to ditch the dye and helping to keep on track - Debbie xx
Debbie!!! Debbie!!! HOORAY!!! \('-')/ I am just THRILLED for you with all of your positive, happy updates! And, I'm also just happy to hear from you my silver friend. <3
Debbie, I WANT TO GO TO FRANCE TOO! I love that to went so well. Then it must be true what I hear, that in France, going "Au Natural" with your hair is no big deal. I love it! :)
I'm glad it turned out great and gave you a little confidence boost. We all need one of those sometimes.
HAIR CRAYONS!!! That is fantastic! Oh yes, now that definitely sounds like a gray and white hair plus! You know, once I did think about using then and then forgot. Please thank your daughter for giving out such a great suggestion. What color are you thinking? I think I might need a purple/pink mix. :)
(Btw- I crochet in public. I'm not sure what my son thinks, but I feel like a granny!)
I hope you are wearing your red lipstick with pride! Yes, yes! I can imagine what you are saying, no you don't need more coffee. I get it! I know what you mean, there was something about having my lighter, gray hair around my face that pulled together the colors of my skin and eyes in a way that ,y dark brown did not. This is part of the fun of going gray, you get to reimagine and redesign yourself! Experimenting with new makeup colors is such a great time!
Well, it does sound like you are doing great. Many many "bravos!" to you Debbie. You are strong and brave and I'm glad that you've stopped by to share. Thank you for making me smile friend! \(^-^)/
Definitely thinking along the pink and purple lines. Though pastel/mint green also appeals. I dye my own yarn and often have multi coloured fingers so it might change with the colours of the skeins!
I wish I had known about The French attitude but with every challenge I try to look for a positive. If I hadn't have got so wound up I wouldn't have had the courage to post a comment to you or ventured across the Channel with such a determinedly positive attitude!
Nothing wrong with crochet or any fibre bothering especially in public - slight crazy, yarn obsessive person here. I got a product mention in Interweave crochet in the Spring and my two daughters were unimpressed by that :)
YOU SOUND AMAZING!!!! Oh, I am so so impressed. :)
You dye your own yarn!? Mentioned in the magazine!? How cool is all of that!? I love it. OOOOOhhhhh and yes, mint green, sounds fabulous! Just fabulous.
Perhaps one day our children will embrace their own love of the fiber arts. ;)
Actually, Noah tried to crochet, but it's still a bit of a mystery to him.
Please keep being you and keep that self-confidence going! I'm working on a new gray hair post as we speak. It's all about the emotional side of going gray.
Many many thanks for your great comments Debbie!
Can't wait to read the new post...it has almost been more emotional deciding to ditch the dye for me but I do have my moments. Like everything it's the first step that is the hardest and then the one hundred and thirty first and then the four hundred and fifty fifth, etc, etc when self loathing and self doubt take over. ( I only started with dyeing yarn and selling my designs because of some fairly major health news and I thought "you know what if not now, when?"...six years later I have come to terms with it and I'm panicking about my grey hairs :) I even feel that I'm glad I have this and not someone else because I can deal with it!) wow got way too serious then, apologies for lowering the mood there is enough horrible things happening in the world right now so let's celebrate how wonderful we all are grey, coloured hair or tortoiseshell ... Thanks for brightening my day with your blog.
Oh Debbie, you didn't bring down the mood at all! I was moved by your candid comment and for sharing something so personal and part of your journey. I'm so sorry for what you have gone through. I hope that when your hardship spurred you to start dying yarn and selling your creations, that this was a very rich and fulfilling thing! It sounds like it!
You are very wise and right. It's that first step you take that's the hardest with all of this gray stuff, but I suppose it doesn't make the steps after that particularly easy either.
I am sending you a BIG hug Debbie! I think you are great! You're on my mind. Please hang in there and keep being uniquely YOU! This is quite a journey, but I promise it really turns out ok. We silver sisters need to stick together! <3
Thanks for chatting!!!
I have loved reading the comments of the ladies posting here, and your responses, Lauren.
I started going gray and coloring my VERY dark brown hair in my early 30's. I'm 48 now. Today . . . I had a test done on my bangs to see how my hair would bleach out. It's a "golden" color, but I am excited to start this transition. I have an appointment next Tuesday to have the left side of my bangs bleached and toned to get as close to silver as I can get. (Yes . . . the same side as Cruelle De Vil.) It's my first step to embracing my gray/silver hair.
I don't know if I will highlight the rest of my head in the same way, or cut it short and let it grow out, but I know I'm tired of coloring my hair and am ready to be a total REBEL! :)
Thanks so much for this blog and the wonderful women you have following your progress. You all have given me courage. :)
WOO HOO! \('-')/ YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY!!!!
It's so nice to meet you. Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment. I love reading everyone's comments too! :)
Isn't it amazing how many of us have similar experiences? When I was going gray, I didn't know anybody who was doing the same, but now....now we are all meeting each other in nooks and crannies around the web. It's great!!!
Your plan sounds very interesting! I've always believe that just like deciding to go gray is a very personal thing, so is the way that we go gray! You do what works for you and your hair!
If you feel like it, please let us know how things go. It sounds like you have a very supportive hair stylist on your side which is wonderful! :)
Thank you for your nice comment ggmugsy. I'm glad that you're here. So much luck to you, I think you'll love the new you and all the freedom!
Thanks so much for your comments!
I had the strip bleached three days ago, and so far, I'm happy with it. I have to admit that it was kind of a shock at first, but it's definitely growing on me. My husband stared at me for a few hours before saying, "Ya know, it's really cute!" :) Whoo-hoo!
My cost so far is $65 for the bleaching and toning and another $20 for a conditioner with toner to keep the new blonde strip from getting brassy. I will have to have it bleached again when my hair grows out some because there are areas near my scalp that are still dark brown. I'm uncertain if I will pop the $$ to get this done to my whole head.
I forgot to mention in my last post that what I really notice when I see photos of women before and after going grey, is that grey hair makes their eyes look HUGE, beautiful and very expressive.
I have a big event in May (I'm finally getting my Bachelor's!) and I hope my strip is completely grey. I can't even imagine the freedom of finally being done with school AND going grey. I may need some champagne! :)
Wow! Wow! Oh my gosh, I'm so happy for you! I'm glad your trip to the salon turned out great! :)
Thanks for letting us know how things went. I'd love to see a "before" and "after" sometime if you feel like sharing.
I think big CONGRATS are in order for both your gray and your degree. WOO HOO!! \(^-^)/
Thanks again so much for your comment. I'm super excited for you.
Have a great weekend!
\('-')/ Thanks Adriana!!!! :)
Dear Lauren, I'm so glad I found your blog! I've been thinking about growing out my gray for years now and my husband has been encouraging me all the time to do it assuring me that he loves my gray and even searching for some new on my head :)) I found my first gray hairs when I was about 18 and colored it first with conventional hair dye and then I henndigoed. But the upkeep is so frustrating! I turned 36 in September and I finally feel ready to go gray now. I colored my hair for the last time about a month ago and I really like the color that is showing at my roots. Last weekend I wrote an Email to my dearest friends informing them about my decision. For me this was the right start for my project! I received so many sweet and supportive answers :) I never expected that.
Thank you so much, Lauren for the time you dedicated to write about this topic and all your useful tips! When I first saw your picture I was really impressed by your natural beauty. I think we have a quite similar colouring with the blue eyes and all ;) I'm really excited to find out how my silver will turn out in the end.
Greetings from Germany :)
HOORAY!!!! \('-')/ I am so happy for you and your new decision! And I am also very glad that you're here! Congratulations on this new "adventure." I hope you find it as exciting and rewarding as I did! I think you will. :)
Thank you, thank you for all of your kind words. That made me smile.
I'm super happy to hear how supportive your husband has been. Having the support of our partner, that makes ALL the difference! Also, I absolutely LOVED hearing that you reached out and emailed your friends. That was WONDERFUL Tina! What a great job you did. Their positive responses must be amazing. You must have a group of very special family and friends around you with lots of encouragement! :)
I think you will look wonderful with your new silvers! Thank you for sharing your story with me. Please let me know how things are going if you feel like it.
Much cheer and a big hug from Michigan!
Wow, been busy for a few days looking after a poorly chicken (Martha our prim and proper one slipped in the mud and hurt her leg) and you've inspired some more silver sisters. I just think I want to say we're all here because of you and this lovely inspirational blog. Happy Thanksgiving everyone :)
Oh Debbie, WHAT a nice comment! Thank you soooo much from my heart for your words. They were touching. <3
Also, I do hope that Martha and her little leg are on the mend! Poor thing. :(
It sounds like she is lucky to have you as her human Mom. :)
Thank you again Debbie! You really made me smile. :)
You proved to us all that going grey isn't a one way trip to old age via looking like a witch (even though your children think you are when asked to do the dishes or tidy their rooms!)...but that you can look sassy, sexy and young(ish in my case :)). And yes it's only hair but we needed someone to tell us that.
Martha is still hopping around she's sooooo prim that she has only laid three eggs in six years deciding early on that nice chickens didn't do that egg sort of thing. She's a Plymouth Rock so she has the pilgrim spirit ;) Debbie xx
That's SO nice! Love your positive, encouraging words and love you! \(^-^)/ Thank you!
(Clean your room! Ha!) Yep. ;)
I do think Martha sounds like a perfectly proper little lady of a chicken. Eggs or not. That's so funny.
I hope your week is going swimmingly. Thank so much again.....for making me smile and laugh out loud AGAIN!
I stumbled upon your blog a few months back. I've decided to take the plunge and stop dying/highlighting my hair. My dad had a full head of snow white hair in his late 30's, being that I'm 37, soon to be 38, it appears, as more and more white hairs take over my head, that I have inherited his gene. I've come to a point where Ive had enough of the damage and breakage to my hair that highlighting and dying has done. I'm a bit nervous for this transition.
We'll see how it goes.
Hi Lisa!!! \('-')/
Welcome! Welcome! Thank you for taking time to write and share your story. I'm 37 too! I understand the fear going into this process. Just like you, my Dad's side of the family are the ones who gray and I wondered if I'd get the gene too. :) And, I did!
Here is the thing that I can tell you, as scary as all of this is, oh my gosh, the change in your hair's health and feel, and all of the time and money saved on hair dye and the feeling of FREEDOM, it's SO worth it! :)
I really mean all of this. It was definitely worth it. I wish I would have stopped coloring sooner. I think you will love the changes. :)
Soooooo much luck and cheer to you Lisa. Just give it a try, and if you don't like it, it's easy to go back to coloring! I hope you find gray as nice as I did though! <3
Welcome to the silver sisterhood. I can only say it can be scary but your hair grows through sooooooo soft and it's been an adventure so see what colour comes through next. I have yet to have a negative comment (even with my line of different colour around the top of my ears ) and this has included facing a school hall of teenagers talking about career options). When I saw your comment I just wanted to say...'you go girl' (but this came out in my English West Country accent and my fifteen year old told me nobody says things like that anymore:)! - I'm sending you sassy, positive thoughts instead ) Debbie xx
Hey everyone! Hope you all had a joyous holiday season.
It has been almost two months since I last died my hair. I have had my bangs bleached twice now but they are still not white enough to tint gray. Argh. Patience is not in my list of strong attributes.
I loved reading Tina's and the Lisa's post about beginning their journeys.
Debbie - I hope Martha is doing better.
Adrianna - thanks for your sweet comment, too. :)
My growing hair revealed that I am not as "silver" as I originally thought. I was surprised to see some (about 50%, maybe more) of my bleached bangs growing in very dark brown. I was disappointed.
At this point, I am watching and waiting to see how my hair looks as it continues to grow. I have a little over 1" of natural growth. I do believe, however, that having the shockingly blonde bangs helps to detract from the stripe.
I'll try to get the hubster to take a picture.
It was great to come here today and read all the positive comments. I have a feeling I'll be dropping by more often to keep my spirits up!!
Congratulations for getting a far as the skunk stripe! At that point I wanted to carry around a placard stating 'yes you CAN see my roots'. It does get better mine had started a growth spurt again and is not the definite line around my ears and the more that grows in the more people comment in a nice way.
Martha is still limping around but we're not quite sure how much is for effect. She has to be lifted out of the house in the morning no placed with her breakfast but seems to be in a different place whenever we look (but still sitting) and if I'm late getting home and it's approaching dusk she puts herself away in the chicken house...hmmm maybe we need a chicken cam to catch her running around the garden.
Hope everyone had a peaceful, happy season.
Wishing you all a peaceful, prosperous and silver 2015
Hi, from a cold and frosty England *wave*
I've been popping back to your blog over the last few weeks and finally thought I'd say hello.
My poor hair - thanks to my luch loved dad I've been the not so proud owner of thick curly hair. The years I've spent trying to force my hair into some style it was never going to be - Jennifer Aniston during the Friends era, Victoria Beckham's pob to name a couple - but through the battles the one thing that was non negotiable was the colour. No grey allowed!!
And now I'm 14 weeks in to my dye free days - took the monumental decision after a disastrous colour cover up (done by a professional) which made me take a long look at what I was actually doing to myself.
I have been having my hair dyed since the age of 20 (I'm now 43) and have been all shades of red, brown, reddish brown and most recently dark blonde. I feel like the only shade I haven't tried in the last 23 years has been my own!
I scuttled to my hairdresser's every 3 weeks to try and keep what I saw as an awful grey root at bay and which I've finally realised was exhausting. To colour my hair, then after just a week to have the disappointment of seeing a grey root - and worse still, a white patch in my fringe! - which then led me to wish the next two weeks of my life away so I could colour up again. An exhausting merry-go round.
And now the madness has stopped! It's only now, with 3 months growth, that I can see how futile the whole exercise has been recently. Somewhere, within the last 23 years, the few springy grey hairs that I felt the need to cover have swapped places with a few springy brown hairs. I can see now that my hair is probably 90 per cent grey, 9 per cent white and 1 per cent my pre 20-year-old hair colour ( which incidentally is so much darker than I remember - and I've been colouring it dark blonde?!!).
My eldest daughter is devastated, my mum and husband horrified - but the confidence I have in doing this comes from blogs like yours, Lauren.
I would encourage anyone thinking of ditching the dye to do it. And TELL people; this is a conscious decision, it's not just difficulty in booking a hairdresser's appointment!
Take a deep breath and go for it - and when there are wobbly days (as we all have) pop back here and remind yourself you're not alone and it will all be worth it xx
Debbie - your chicken cam sounds like an amazing idea. Do you blog about your chicken adventures? If not, maybe you should!
Treena - I really enjoyed reading your post. I am looking forward to being 14 weeks into my new hair. My experience was similar to yours - the fine silver hair at my temples was shining through within a couple of days after coloring it. I felt like I was beating my head against the wall.
I was sorry to read your family has been less than supportive. BIG HUG!
I've decided to try one more bleaching of my bangs to see if I can get them to some semblance of gray. I've decided to do this because there is still some orange in areas and that will be hideous as it grows out. Can you picture it? Blonde, black, silver, and orange?? LOL!
Before I quite coloring my hair, my head was very itchy. That's gone away. Whoo-hoo!!
Hope you all have a wonderful New Year!
Oh Treena...big big hug it does get better. My husband and children were also against ditching the dye for a looooong time. It took almost a year for me to decide to do it with all the negative vibes at home but now they wouldn't have any other way ( and this at the moment is silver to my ears then the reddy colour I dyed it for years, you have to agree a really good look but I'm just so happy with it I really don't care). I did keep banging on about it, pointing out really bad dye jobs (sorry I cringe now but was getting desperate to go grey) and pointing out examples of lovely grey hair. I think I won them over on a trip to the NEC (exhibition centre in Birmingham, England) where I had not only dragged hubby to a knitting and stitching show :) but it was really windy so everywhere we looked roots were on show and to my eternal shame I took the route of toddlers and small children everywhere and kept on going on and on and ON that I didn't want to look like that anymore...only yarn tempted me away. I also went straight into work and told everybody and ten months later last week I had someone comment on how nice my hair was growing through! So please hang in there we're all rooting (if that's not a pun?!) for you.
Wishing you all a Happy 2015
P.s Martha has just been laying in a heap on the ground when I looked out of the window in the time it took to reach the chickens she's now inside the house...there has to be a 'Back to the Future' hover board involved.
I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to leave a short "thank you" of sharing all those pictures. I'm 30 years old and have dyed my hair for about 10 years now due to first silver streaks. In summer I decided to stop that nonsense, so I'm slowly turning gray as well - your pictures are very encouraging!
Isn't it amazing what we put ourselves through? I had no itchiness on my scalp but the 't-zone' on my face (from my eyebrows down to either side of my nose) would be inflamed for a couple of days. Says something for the strength of these chemicals that they can strip areas of your skin that they don't even touch!!
Think my family believe this is a knee - jerk reaction. It took about 2 weeks for me to go from first toying with the idea to gleefully telling people the dye was gone, so maybe they're still getting used to the idea!
I've also realised that I can be quite stubborn - so many people have voiced an opinion ( even work colleagues that I wouldn't have thought were 'close' enough to me to be so outspoken!) saying how i shouldn't do it that it's actually had the opposite effect. Don't tell me i can't - just makes me more determined to prove I can!
p.s. realised yesterday that if I'd still been colouring my hair I'd have just had my FIFTH dye session since the last one in September. That's a whole lot of chemicals packed into a short space of time!!
Annette, I'm so glad you posted about your journey. I believe in there is strength in numbers. :)
Debbie, Martha's a sneaky one. It would be fun to catch her in the act. :) I gasped when I read that it took 10 months before you received a positive response from a co-worker. That's a long time. I'm taking some slow, deep breaths . . . I'll be fine . . . lol
Treena, your experience with the aftermath of hair dye in your t-zone is terrible. I didn't understand how easy it is for chemicals to absorb through the skin until I became a nurse. I'm much more careful now to use gloves when working with chemicals. Think of all the medications they now give with patches; nicotine, hormones, pain relievers. Eeek!
I did not have my bangs bleached again. I honestly don't think it's possible for them to get my bangs to the point they can color them grey without affecting more of my dark hair (either natural or dyed). I'm just going to go through the process as I am now and see what happens.
I think Lauren's hair is so beautiful, I put her as the "face" of my gray hair board on Pinterest. Without reading her blog and finding all of you, I may not have had the nerve to take this plunge.
Thank you all!
You are my inspiration! Years of expensive highlights (last time alot broke off) has me wanting freedom from it. I just wanna be ME. Im 48 and I think it's time. Hubby is into it too!
Thanks for your blog!!
Hi Shelly!!!! \(^-^)/
Thanks! That is very nice of you to say. I'm so glad that you're here! Congratulations on your new, exciting journey. I think you are going to LOVE your "new you" and all of the freedom that comes with it. AND, how fantastic that your hubby is onboard! That means so much. You'll do great!
Thanks for stopping by and welcome! :)
I'm just starting to grow out at 63 and I am very gray with dyed dark brown. The worse combination for skunk stripe. You didn't seem to want to use semi permanent. Why not? Does it not all wash out or not cover? If it lasts a couple weeks it seems easier than stuff that shampoos out with one shampoo thanks
You have a GREAT question about semi-permanent hair dye and the dreaded "skunk stripe." I was wondering just the same question before!
So, the reason that I did not use semi-permanent color on my new gray during my transition was because I am allergic to hair dye. My reactions just became worse and worse, and the same chemical that is in permanent color that I am sensitive to is also in semi-permanent. Also though, when I decided to stop coloring, part of that was because I personally wanted to stay away from as many chemicals as I could in my beauty products. So, I also decided against the semi because I had put color on my hair for such a long time.
One more worry that I had....and I could be wrong though! I was concerned that semi-permanent might not wash completely out or that it might leave a "dull" cast leftover on my new whites. I remember when I used to color my hair, that when it was dry, it would really soak up and hold the hair dye. I wondered if semi would not let me whites shine as bright after it was washed out.
I hope this helps! I think the decision to go gray and how we do it is a very personal one. So, you just need to follow your heart and do what works best for you! Please let us know if you do use semi-permanent hair color and how that goes!
Take care, :)
I tried semi permanent , supposed to last 28 shampoos, pretty much washes out completely after a week, though it may build up over time, just coloring the crown to camouflage some right now so I don't shock anyone too bad. If the rest of the world didn't care I'd just let it grow, I'll see how it goes thanks
Hi! Thanks for sharing your experience with semi-permanent, I was really wondering!
If I didn't have the extra "push" to quit hair dye cold-turkey because of my allergy and worry about the chemicals, I might have tried the semi-permanent route. I used to use it all of the time.
I do have to say though, as much as the world comments on our gray while it's growing in, there is something oddly satisfying about showing your gray and being like: "I don't care what you think!" ;) LOL. I know that sounds silly, and it was SO hard many days to walk around with the darn skunk stripe, but in the end, I found it wasn't as difficult as I feared. Even more so, I found some bravery and confidence that I never knew I had! It was quite an adventure.....that I'd like to only go on once. :) Thanks so much again and lots of cheer and luck to you! xo
You have absolutely stunningly beautiful hair! While I have struggled (as we all do) with the gray, I have never dyed my hair and have been blessed to have a lovely concentration of white near the front, so it actually streaks really cool. You are an awesome spokesperson for all of us and proof that gray can still look young and beautiful! Keep smiling :)
Oh Victoria, your words are so so kind and sweet. THANK YOU!!! :)
I'm glad that your gray has come in wonderfully and in what sounds like a FABULOUS streaks! So cool!
I will keep on smiling because of readers like you and your touching comments. Thank you from my heart!
Just a word about using semi permanent, I went to the beauty suplly they suggested Clairol Beautiful Collection, supposed to last 4 to 8 shampoos. It did wash out completely after about seven shampoos. There is no beige stain, which is important. I have dark brown color and the gray is shiny silver. The coverage is fairly good. I got Chia Brown which is an ash color. I didn't want red or blonde in it, already got more colors than I need. So I think this will work for awhile. My scalp feels great, no irritation. This blog has been great help and encouragement. Thanks
Thank you so much for sharing your experiment with semi-permanent color with us. That's really helpful! :)
I'm glad everything went great!
This is very interesting. Your product washes out in 4-8 washes vs. some other semi-permanet color that usually washes out in 4-6 WEEKS. It sounds like you found a category of color that I hadn't even realized existed!
I feel like I have heard from a woman or two, that their 4-6 WEEK color didn't wash out all of the way, especially because they had dry, porous hair. I bet that type of color holds on a lot more.
At any rate, thank you so much again for sharing and THANK YOU for your words about the blog. Glad you're here!
EEEKKK!!! I'm so excited i found this site. I'm a 33 year young mom going grey. I haven't dyed my hair in a while and i want to transition fast and naturally. Unfortunately my hair grows at a sloths pace and is curly and frizzy. It's a hassle. Thank you so much for your info.
Hi Jessica!!!!! \(^-^)/
Oh I LOVE sloths, but maybe not a sloth's pace. ;)
I'm so glad you're here. I want to tell you that when I was in the middle of everything, when I was a few months dye-free, it just felt like time was moving soooo slowly. I would say that my hair also grows slowly like you mentioned. In the end though, looking back, it still grow out and went by more quickly that I thought it would in retrospect. And, the great thing is it just gets easier and easier with each, little 1/4"! For all the waiting and the struggle, freedom from hair dye and having a fun, healthy new head of hair is super worth it! I hope you love your silver too! :)
Glad you're here Jessica, welcome! xoxoxox
Thank you Lauren! I am so torn about what to do. I am 60. One of the things on my bucket list is to grow my hair to my waist. I had never done that in my lifetime. I now have about six inches to go! It is thick, wavy, and healthy. And I have lots of it. However. I am grey, dyed brown. I have been coloring my hair since my late twenties. I would love to go grey now....but without cutting my wished for long hair. I see these beautiful women with
Iong grey hair and regret not allowing mine to grey naturally way back then. Comments? My hairdresser says NO! It will make you look old! Ha! I'm getting there anyway! Your hair looks awesome. Love it!
Awww, Jackie, I LOVE your story! Even though you are faced with a big decision, no matter what you chose, it is so incredible that you are just 6" from your dream of waist-length hair! That is is amazing. I'd love waist-length hair, but so many of us try and never get there, so BRAVO! \(^-^)/
Here's my two cents with the caveat that you need to truly follow what your own heart is saying.........
I feel like, IF you have a strong reason to ditch the hair dye right now - ie.) a hair dye allergy, a fear of the chemicals or suddenly the money and time for hair color up-keep is too much, then go for it and stop coloring your hair now. You can keep your hair long, there is no rule that you must cut. Many do, sometimes it helps, but you get to decide! :)
On the other hand, if you are vaguely ok with continuing with hair color, and there is no urgency, then maybe you should keep coloring until your hair is waist-length. Wear it that way and enjoy it for as long as you want. Then, one day, when you're ready for a change..... you could stop coloring or stop coloring and get some sort of fun cut! Wow, sounds exciting!!!!
One more thought....the nice thing about giving up hair dye is that if you don't like the gray, you can always go back to dye! No obligations. The first several months are not the easiest and nobody looks fab with white roots, but with time, you can start to look great!
I hope this helps Jackie. I think it sounds like you are strong and confident and that you work hard to achieve your goals. You can do anything that you set your mind to! Sometimes it's all about finding the perfect timing.
Thank you for your nice comment and thank you for being here!
Just stopping by for an update to my post to you back in August, which marked the beginning of my journey to go gray. I’d been coloring my hair a dark brown for over 15 years! Like you, I started having serious reactions to hair dye, so it was time. Many, many thanks for your inspirational blog which gave me the courage to start the process and continues to inspire me as I progress. I love reading the stories of other women embarking on this same quest!
My biggest hurdle was coming to grips with what it would mean for me to be (suddenly) gray at 56. Did I want to look more my age or even “old”, would people perceive or treat me differently, and would I feel less attractive? It felt like letting go of a youthful version of me, but a version I knew in my heart just didn’t fit any longer. I made my mind up to take each day as it came and actually became excited about the process and the opportunity to own my age.
The first 6 to 8 weeks was hands down the hardest, as the lighter roots became VERY noticeable. I worried that people would think I was too lazy to get my roots touched up and that I would look unprofessional at my job. I visited a few hairdressers and ultimately decided not to go the route of demi dyes or highlights because I didn’t want to prolong the process. I was definitely feeling self-conscious there for a while. After a few months and a few inches of growth, the dyed hair softened and the colors began to blend a bit to my relief. It turns out I still have quite a bit of ash blonde (my natural color) in the back, and now there are these very cool streaks cascading around my face. When I pull my hair back, it’s like having natural highlights! I have over 4 inches of new growth that is soft and shiny, and I couldn’t be happier with the results so far.
I wanted to mention two things I did in the beginning that helped address the color contrast. The first was to cut my hair into a short bob right below my ears (the Katie Holmes bob). This removed about 5 inches of really dark, almost black ends, so my hair looked lighter almost immediately. I get an inch or so cut each month and it lightens up each time. As a bonus, I am getting lots of nice compliments on this hairstyle. I am one of those people who was sure short hair would look terrible, so who knew? The second thing was to pull the front top section of hair (just above my forehead) straight back and clip it with a barrette. This helped to hide any major part lines that caused the dreaded skunk line. Oh, and the third thing I did was stop worrying about what people thought!
Anyways, it’s been SO worth it, no more coloring or mess (I would have normally colored my hair 10 times by now!) and I feel much more like myself. A friend who also went gray recently calls it “going organic”, so that is what I say now. And I read that gray hair is all the rage for 2015, so we are actually in style! I hope you will continue this wonderful blog which gives us transitioners the encouragement to go the distance. I’ll report back in another 6 months.
That was the most BEAUTIFUL update!!! Thank you from my heart for sharing. I am incredibly happy for you and could not believe how eloquently you describe your transition. I could relate to what you said exactly. AND, I learned "going organic" now from you and I LOVE it! :)
Thank you for your tips, they are lovely and I'm sure will help others. If you're ever on Facebook and happen to be part of the How Bourgeois Facebook page, please feel free to share your story if you feel up to it!
Thank you for all of the inspiration and thank you so much for taking the time to write.
Thank you Lauren! I value your thoughts and opinions and appreciate your input! Long it stays....for sure! As for color, I may just start going a little lighter....slowly! You are fabulous!
Jackie!!!! It sounds like a plan!
I want you to make it to your waist length hair!!! Glad you aren't letting the gray totally derail that goal. :)
Gradually going lighter sounds promising too!
Thank you for your comment. It was so sweet and the perfect way to start my week! If you feel like it. keep us posted on that gorgeous sounding hair of yours!
Hi Lauren! Update! I have decided to transition. First stage I Ended up with a caramel finish, which was quite pretty, but I pushed on. I now have gone to stage two, and I am totally blonde.....almost "arctic blonde" on top.....next stage hopefully my very talented hairdresser will start blending I some beautiful brays and silvers.....excited....but a huge change. My hair is still very healthy but I am slathering on co ditto ears everyday....
Excited! don't know how to share photos here, but if you tell me how, I am happy to share once I am all done! With photos of each stage.
It will be another 3 weeks before next step! 50 shades coming up! Lol!
\(^-^)/ Hi Jackie!!!! WOW!!! Wow, wow, wow, it sounds like you've got an awesome plan and that you're well on your way! A big huge "congrats" and a high-five from me. :)
Thank you so much for the update, how exciting!!!! I'd love to see your pictures and I'm sure other readers would too. Thanks bunches. I'm really sorry though, I don't think there is a way to share photos through comments but.... are you on Facebook by any chance? If you are, and you are not already a member of the How Bourgeois Facebook page, you might want to consider it! It's super easy to share pictures on there, all you do is post them to our wall. There are about 1,600 readers in that group and I know they'd be inspired by your story! Just a suggestion.
I'm super happy for you Jackie. GO YOU!!!!!
Hi Lauren! I sent a picture and a blurb to your Facebook page. :) there are already comments from my friends on it too! Some like it,smoke don't. I'm not there yet, but hoping ,y hairdresser goes for the gray next visit!
Thank you so much for all your encouragement in this big change. Your are a super person!
\(^-^)/ Hi Jackie!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE your lighter hair! So glad that you shared, it was really fun seeing your progression and also, what long, beautiful hair!
I know I mentioned this earlier, but it's true, some of our biggest gray opponents become our best gray fans once they see how it can look!!! :)
Jackie, I didn't think about this earlier, but are you planning on having your hairdresser dye your hair gray or you will just start growing your gray out? If you are thinking about going the dye route, I wanted to tell you something. You need to do what is right for you, but I wanted to say that recently I have heard from quite a few women who had their hair dyed gray before their grow-out and they have been upset with the results. It's a very tricky process, one that is horribly hard on the hair and the gray often comes out uneven and quickly fades. Just my two cents. Follow your heart in whatever route you take, but I wanted to tell you what I've heard lately just in case it would help you! :)
I know you can do this! You are strong and full of courage. WOO HOO ! Thanks for giving ME some courage and a smile at the dentists! LOL! (>'-')> xoxoxoxoxooxo,
I did go the dye route for my hair. My hairdresser had stripped the colour out over three processes, then added the smoke the last visit. I love it! I looks great, it,picked up natural highlights and lowlights and it looks awesome. I did lose about an inch of length to remove some dry ends, but otherwise my hair is beautiful and healthy. As it co it use to grow my hairdresser will tweak here and there to match my regrowth to my own natural grey.
I'm very happy and love the soft, silvery look I have now and I have the best hairdresser in the world! Truly amazing!
You are to be credited for helping me hold steadfast in this hair journey! Thank you Lauren for the i spirit ion and amazing support!
\('-')/ Hi Jackie!!!!
Wow! Wow! Oh how great! Thank you for the update, I'm so happy to hear that you are loving your new hair! :)
"Smoke" sounds like a really neat color. That's wonderful, it sounds like you have a great hairdresser. Super happy for you and it sounds like you're well on your way!!!! Thank you for you kind words and thanks again for the update! If you feel like it, let us know how things are going down the road. Have a great rest of the week!!!
Just wanna say thank you for sharing your gray hair journey! I so enjoyed your photos and posts! You are absolutely beautiful and your hair is beautiful! I stumbled upon your blog while searching out support for growing out henna/indigo with grays. I only have a few grays at 39 but after visiting your blog I am no longer worried about it like it was. I'm just going to let my hair be my hair. I never want to go back to chemicals. My hair is so healthy now. My sister has a lot of gray and is growing it out, she's about 3 inches of gray and the rest black. I sent her a link to your blog. She will also enjoy all that you shared. You are rocking the gray, thank you so much!!
\(^-^)/ Hi Brandi!!!!!
Awww, thank you so much. That was the nicest comment. :)
I'm glad you enjoyed the posts. I have to say, as worried as I was about my gray coming in, there is something awesome about having freedom from all the hair dye and henna. It was just nice. I think you and your sister might love it too! This isn't always an easy "adventure", but it's really worth it in the end.
Thank you again for taking the time to write and share with us Brandi. I'm glad that you're here!!!!
First of all, I want you to know that I really appreciate your willingness to be so out-there with your decision and everything that goes with it. I've had gray hair coming in since my 20s BUT I've always colored over it or tried to make it blend. I am going to be celebrating my one year wedding anniversary at the beginning of September AND I am turning 45 this month. I have spent so many years trying to keep my hair young and sassy and have grown use to hearing compliments about it. However, I have been constantly worried about how much gray was starting to show. My hairdresser told me I have at least 70% gray in there. It always made me panic a little. I thought I had better wait until I'm in my 60s before I let any of it show.
Over the last month or so, I've decided it was time to do something because I currently cannot afford to go get it fixed and I don't feel like coloring it myself right now. I also noticed that my gray is coming in like a freight train! As I usually do, I was looking through Pinterest to get some ideas on what to do. That's when I came across your picture and the link to your blog. I read through your feelings and looked through your photos. I saw absolutely NOTHING to disagree with. I mean, I think I would feel the same things as you have AND you survived it AND you look stunning! Now, I know that we all aren't going to look as good as you because we are all different. BUT what if??? So I asked myself today...What if I look okay? What if I like it? What if I end up flaunting it? Why can't I still be sassy with gray/white hair?
So I just told my new husband that I am going to be letting it go wild. I told him I was ready to release my worries about my hair. I told him I'm excited about showing off my magical silvery white hairs. He said he agrees and I should go for it. This comes from a man that always shaves his sideburns just because they have white in them.
As I said in the beginning of this comment, I truly appreciate your openness. You have helped me make a huge leap that even my own mother and aunts refuse to make. I am nervous but excited! Don't be surprised if you hear me roar, because I am feeling fierce! Haha
Hollie from Michigan
\(^-^)/ Hi Hollie!!!!
And what a fabulous, exciting ROAR that is!!!! \(^-^)/ GO YOU!!!! :)
That was such a sweet and heart-felt comment that you wrote. Thank you so much Hollie, for all that you said. We're in this TOGETHER!!!!
I think you will do wonderfully. You sounds strong and brave and ready, and most of all, your hubby sounds FANTASTIC! The support of those around you can really help. It's what did it for me!
I'm super super super excited for you. Please let me know how things are going! Remember, if you hit a bumpy patch, just think of how wonderful it will feel when you reach the finish line. I was just thinking yesterday how great it feels to not have to worry about my roots showing and to cover my head in hair dye each months. So many great things.
Thank you again Hollie!!!
Hi Lauren. I adore your blog. It has given me the push I needed to go for it. I've also started a blog to chart my journey. I have curly hair so that's my focus. Curls may present some additional issues. Who knows how it will turn out?! Anyway the blog is at http://gogreygirl.blogspot.co.uk and if you get the chance I'd love your feedback. You are mentioned already! Thanks again - I will be here a lot taking up your recommendations and reassurances. Blaire x
I just found your blog, and I can't wait to dive into it. I'm almost 48 and I recently decided to go gray. My hair is pretty dark, so the skunk stripe is quite severe...but strangely, as soon as I decided to "give in," I really kind of like it! I keep telling myself that it's just an experiment, and that I can color it any time I feel like it...but I really want to give my hair the break it needs and just let it be for a while.
I absolutely love your hair and I'm going to keep watching this page for the inspiration I need - from you and others - who are making the same transition. It's good to know I'm not alone!
Hello Silver Sisters- I am close to the finish line and I wanted to share some experience. Stick with the cover up pens, foams and powder for the first two inches or so. Lauren has good advice on what to use. Don't go for semi permanent, low lighting or similar options, toner, by the way is bleach and if you have been dying dark brown, will leave you with orange hair and unbelievable damage. After about two inches, I cut it shorter, to about four inches. I had a cute look that got compliments. It showed the gray coming in in layers and got rid of the skunk stripe. Next week I hope to cut off the remaining inch of dye. I don't like my hair shorter (it is not pixie length) but it has made the last eight months easier. My hair and scalp are healthy and I just love the color. This blog has been a great inspiration - thanks!
I found you through Pinterest and want to thank you for sharing your journey here on your blog. I wish I could remember the last time I colored; usually I write it in my planner but I can't find it. Around August 15th I believe. No more dye for me and my "silvers" are really coming in quickly. I don't want to cut my hair and really want it long again. I've worn a bob for 4-5 years now. But one lonnnng gray braid is what I'm dreaming of! I'm 51 by the way. There is no turning back for me as I've also committed to use what money I normally spent on dye and haircuts to sponsor a girl in India. This is not going to be easy I know at times but I can hardly wait to have my REAL hair. Anyways it's nice to meet you and other silver sisters reading this. Love from Arkansas, Leaon
Hey Lauren :) I am Lauren too. My sister Amy , who is 45 ,loves your blog so she sent me here and we are both considering going gray together. I have a few questions. First of all I am 49 and my previously dark brown hair is now 90% WHITE (not S&P) under the hair dye. I have light skin and I am concerned that the white hair and light skin will make me look washed out. I tend to wear black and jewel toned clothing and I wear makeup. Do I need to change the color of makeup I use (eye shadow, blush , lipstick ect.)?? What about clothing? Would I still wear black and brights? Also my hair used to be very wavy but it seems like the hair dye is making it just lay there all blah. Do you think my curl will come back after the dye comes out? I feel like most of the ladies I know who have gone gray (early) have darker skin and they look beautiful but I don't want to look like a ghost...lol. Can't wait to hear your opinion !
Hi Lauren!!! \(^-^)/ Nice to meet you! So glad that your sister sent you this way and how nice to have a partner in all of this.
To answer your questions....I'm not entirely sure! Lol. I wish I was more of a pro, but I don't have any formal color or hair training. What I would suggest is that you play around with makeup colors and clothing colors until you find what looks nice. I too am about 90% white, the other 10% is dark brown and my skin is fairly light. I found that gray clothing looks nicer on me now as does soft blue. It's all about having fun and playing around! :)
My hair was curly when I was younger. I wondered if the curl would come back after I stopped using hair dye too. At least for me, it didn't come back more curly , but that's just me. It might for you!!!
Have you seen my "gray hair posts" page? http://howbourgeois.blogspot.com/p/its-gray-hair-party.html
You might want to take a look if you haven't. I have written about some of your questions over the years. It might help! I wish I had more information for you Lauren, I'm sorry.Please let me know if I can help though, with other questions. I find it's all about trying new things like make-up, clothing and hairstyles and then finding what works for you. <3
Hi :) Just wanted to say that at 35 I was debating growing the greys! After seeing your amazing hair I started two months ago. I have just over an inch of grey (which I think is about average in 2 months), and I love it! I just cannot wait for the rest to grow out so its all one colour. I went for the short hair but still have around 2 inches left of the previously dyed bits. I cannot wait! Another 4 months and a good chop should see the all grey look :) Thanks for the inspiration, your hair is absolutely gorgeous! :)
Thanks in large part to your blog posts and your GORGEOUS hair, I've now started to grow out my grey. I'm looking so forward to having it done! From what I can see of my roots, I have a light silvery-grey colour, so I think it will be quite pretty. I've debated doing this for a few years now, and after years of no stylist being able to get the right shade of brown, and being irritated by root touch-ups every 3-4 weeks, I'm just done. Honestly, even just making the decision to this is freeing!
Thank you for the inspiration!
I FINALLY cut off all the dye a couple of months ago and my hair has grown a bit. To those who think gray hair makes you look older all I can say is that a lot of people say I look younger and beautiful, gorgeous, happier both men and women. People I haven't seen in awhile are stunned and I feel like I need a name tag. This is the best thing I have ever done for myself. When Lauren says it is worth it, she is so right. I can't wear yellow and orange anymore but blue red look amazing. Growing out gray can is not a pretty thing to do but you will be beautiful in the end.
Thank you for making this awesome blog! I started my journey to silver fox in Oct. 2014. I chopped my hair into a pixie cut in April 2015 & have trimmed it every 6-8 weeks.I'm still growing it out & loving the natural beauty of my gray. Your posts have kept me inspired. I started getting gray hair when I was 12, and started coloring at 14. Finally at 33 I decided that this was ridiculous! Why not embrace what I was blessed with! I'm glad I did! Thank you,Lauren! <3 -Amanda T.
Great blog and you look amazing with your silver hair. I wrote a couple of years ago.
I have a about 70% silver I suppose. I first started to grow it out a few years ago.
I would tint it brown and be very unsatisfied with how fast the roots grew out and the heavy handed look. Or I'd tint it lighter brown and it would go red but it didn't look right.
I tinted and grew out my hair several times in fact. Going crazy in the process. I would buy up clothes that suited the silver. Then tint the hair brown one day in a huff and buy up earth color shaded cloths. It was maddening in a way and disappointing.
Well, I'm back to growing out the silver. I'm wearing what I want color wise but really like the magentas and purples the most. A light Spring green will do too. I eshew tan or beige near my face. Bit really you never know what will work.
My advice to those that are dispairaing. There are times when ones hair will just seem hideous.
Like it's silver, with brassy strawberry and deep brown too like mine is right now. But it's so worth the wait. It does get better and it starts to look great.
I want to thank you for your blog about going and being gray. It´s so true, frank and really unique! I found your web about two years ago, I was looking for arguments why not to dye my hair. Of course there are plenty of pictures of women with gray hair, but they are 50+. You are my age, that was exactly I needed. I quite didn't want to start dyeing (I´m about half-grey/half-dark, OK maybe a little more grey, but I think, it wouldn’t be so unusual if everybody stopped dyeing), but I felt sorry for that and literally apologized to everybody who was watching my hair for more than two seconds :)
So I don’t do that anymore and mainly thank to you! You are doing great thing!
Oh what a sweet comment you wrote. Thank you for taking the time to visit and say "hello." I used to apologize about my gray hair as well! I'm so glad that you can feel strong and proud now. You must be very brave to show the world your gray hair at a young age. I'm sure you are an inspiration to others! :)
I'm glad that you are here and I am happy that the blog could help you in your journey.
I will keep posting more as time goes on.
Thank you, you made me smile!!!
So funny, I looked in the mirror today and saw my grays peaking through again.....I thought "ugh, I just coloured my hair". And then I thought, what if I just give up colouring and go "oh natural". I'm 39 years old with hair down to my butt - scary thought! I'm a nature enthusiast and somewhat of a naturalist so colouring my hair doesn't really jive with me, I've just been doing it so long that I never really thought of not doing it. I googled "transitioning to grey" and I found your blog. You look fabulous!!! I'm going to read through the links....and yes I'm nervous, but it's reassuring to read that other woman are feeling the same way. Keep posting :) Brandy
I love your Blog! I turned 50 this year and have been fighting the grays since my 30's. It's my time to stop fighting and embrace it! You look beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for being such an awesome inspiration!
I tried to grow out my gray hair (I've been graying since I was 14 and I'm 31 now) about a year ago and tried it with blonde highlights. After 4 months of destroying my hair and hating the very noticeable gray/blonde line, I colored it all red again. If only I had kept going...
Here I am a year later (well the end of August 2016) and tired of dying my roots every 2 weeks and very concerned about the thinning of my hair since the epic blonde mistake. I decided to go gray for real this time. I chopped off 9 inches of my hair (it's up to my chin now) and decided to just let the roots run wild. I did have a moment of weakness where I thought I could use a temp color to help blend it.. welllllllll that half inch of roots is now blonde (because it never fully washes out) but almost makes the gray line blend better haha.
So it's been about 4 months since I've colored my hair (save for the temp job) and I have about an inch and a half of gray, a half inch of the weird blonde and about 5 inches of very dark red. The underneath has about 3 inches of gray since I didn't color that part of my hair for at least six months. The waiting feels impossible and is especially difficult because I travel around the US to teach clients how to use the EHR I work for. I always feel the need to explain my hair and how I'm not just being lazy about going to a salon..
I'm trying really hard to stop explaining and just be bold and confident with these roots, but boy is it tough! I just want to chop all of the colored hair off at this point...
Are you still very happy that you stopped dying your hair?
Jenn - it's a journey! My hair is mid back length and I didn't want to cut my medium brown coloured hair. So I found a hairdresser who promised to do things in stages and look after my hair health first. It took about 6 months of stages of processing to get my hair light enough to blend in my growing out grays. I don't recommend this for anyone who doesn't have a good head of healthy hair to begin with. My hair still suffered the dry brittle stages of processing however, with regular trims it got better and better. It is now almost two years later and I am more ash/grey/blonde and it all blends nicely and looks very natural. Because of the length, I still have a lot of growing out to do but it's not a noticeable grow out at all. And it's still long. And no more colouring. Which is awesome. Good luck with your journey Jenn. It takes a ton of patience but worth it in the end.
Hello, I'm new to your blog and have just recently started growing out my gray hair. I started noticing a few strands grow in at age 21, and now, as I'm turning 30 next month, I've become more and more tired of coloring my hair. Quite frankly I'd like to see my natural color come through for once! I'm 3 months in. I have a large stripe down the center of my head. Do you think my entire head will turn gray or do you think the stripe will continue down the center? Thanks! -Jolie
It's nice to meet you. Thanks for your question! Your stripe of gray sounds cool! I wish that I could answer your question, but truthfully, I'm not sure what your gray hair pattern will be. Some of us only have a few strands of gray our while lives. Others have a full head of them! You might want to ask around to your family members and she what their gray hair is like. I know that I take after my grandmother and she had a similar amount of grey like I do. Thanks again for writing and welcome!!! :)
I was salt and pepper for years but then started coloring my hair blonde - now considering letting it grow out. A friend/hairdresser immediately said, NO, don't do it -it will make you look old! I am hesitant but it's always in the back of my mind to do so and I have about a one inch growout at the moment...undecided...
Hey pretty, I'm Letícia, from Brazil, and I'm 37. I have gray hair since I was 10. I'm very happy to find many women going gray. I'm in transition (after having all possible hair colors from blonde to pink) for 5 months, and... wow, I'm feeling happy, a little afraid of how I'll look. People often think who is young and with gray hair is suffering from depression. Without taking care of ourselves. I need all this time to enjoy with my daughters (16 and 1 yo) and stuff.
Thanks for sharing your experiences.
Hey There! Skunk stripe at 12 yrs. old but thankful for the 80's BIG hair- I was able to hide it through my teens and early 20's. My 30's brought on the hair dye- my natural brown. I'll be 45 next month, and am in my 6th month of transitioning. Started out putting in blonde highlights then went to silver toner (which washed out within a week) next I cut short. I'm on my 2nd short cut with almost all the "bleached" hair cut out. My daughter, who is my hair dresser, says one more GOOD hair cut left. Thank God! I'm sick of transitioning. I know it will be worth it, and I'm ready to grow it out some too. Thank you for the inspiration! I've had mixed feelings along- but sticking to it and hoping I'll love it once I can grow it out to a style I love.
You are beautiful BTW! And rock the gray hair! I found your blog on Pinterest looking up growing gray gracefully or something like that. Anyway, I am a 40 something lady who is going gray naturally. While I am all for going natural and not conforming to societal beauty pressures Looking at the ever-graying head of hair in the mirror tests that stand sometimes on a daily basis. Thanks for the encouragement to be comfortable with aging and finding beauty in it. I am going to add your blog to my faves. https://theycallmemomweb.wordpress.com
So happy to fine this blog! I'm 2 years into my transition and I've had hair dressers and family try to discourage me from growing out my natural color because ir makes me look old. Bah! I love it!
Try it! If you can't stand it, you can always go back to coloring. Good luck!
2.5 inches and counting. My hairdresser and some friends have told me not to do it as it will make me look "old". Well I am old! LOL! Not that old though. My daughter just graduated from high school and is starting college. I started coloring it when she was in kindergarten because I was tired of people asking me "how old is your granddaughter?" (roll some eyes here) Now I am ready to go back. I have watched a couple of friends in my Sunday School class "go natural" and love how they look. This tab on your blog has inspired me to journal my "going natural" on my blog. I started posting about it on insta and fb earlier this week and that is when a follower posted about your page. Your hair looks great! Thanks for the inspiration Silver Sister!
I am 32. Italian. Dark hair and dark eyes and I have been hiding my "pre-mature" gray for the last 7 years. You have inspired me! I am so grateful to have found you and this page. Thank you for sharing!
Hey Lauren, I love LOVE love your site! I have recently decided to embrace my natural highlights and let the grey girls fly. Do you have any advice/ resources for girls like me who didn't color their hair prior to going grey? Im still 95% dark but to my mothers dismay, I refuse to cover the greys I have coming in at my temples and the awesome streak in my bangs. Thank you for sharing your story !
Awww, hi Vanessa! So sweet of you to say, I'm glad that you're here. :)
Hmm...you have a really good question. I wish I had experience with going gray from the get-go, but I don't. Maybe some of the readers do though!!! Are you part of our How Bourgeois Facebook group? If you are, you could certainly post your question there. My guess us that your hair is wonderfully healthy and keeping it in great shape is already helping you with your transition. I like hair serums like Frizz-ease to help with any gray fly-aways that are coming in. The only thing is, some women mention that it can yellow your hair if you use a lot of heat styling so be careful if you do. I use it and it's helped the texture of my hair and the shine a lot!!
I hope this helps. So much luck to you and thanks for stopping by!
The journey start a here!!!! At the age of 42, I've finally decided I am DONE with the dye that I've been using since I discovered my first silver hair at 18! I've channelled many shades of brown and dabbled in the black, but having dwelled on it and now left it untouched for 4 weeks, I am ready to do this!
It helped that (Being a Marvel geek) the boyfriend mentioned "It's cool, kinda like Rogue." Which sealed the deal for me!
Thanks for such an inspirational blog,it helped me to kick start the decision!
Hey, Lauren! This is so inspiring! I wish I had the streak in my hair, but mine are dispersed pretty evenly. I've let them grow for about 8 weeks, and now it's time for my hairdresser & I to come up with a plan... any advice for when there's no streak or stripe?
Hey Lori!!!!! \(^-^)/
Congratulations on your eight weeks! That's a big accomplishment! :)
I hear what you are saying. My gray came in, in blocks of white and streaks, while my Mom's is sprinkled throughout, here and there. Gosh, i wish I had some good input on this one but I don't have a ton. My best advice would be to just keep your hair as hydrated, healthy and shiny as possible. Also, to focus on texture. I noticed that when I make sure that my unruly hair is smoothed and styled, it just makes the overall looked more polished and it's such a difference. Maybe you already do this though! :)
A lot of women love getting highlights and low lights to blend in their gray. If this is a good plan for you, by all means, go for it! I ended up not using any hair dye or highlights/lowlights what-so-ever because I needed to avoid the chemicals in them. It wasn't an easy transition, but I'm an advocate of going cold turkey from dye IF you can because after the grow out was done, I was left with such healthy hair. It had never been shinier. Also, once the highlights grow out, you're still left with the gray, sometimes just jumping in and trying it is a great introduction to your new color pattern. If that makes sense. :)
You can't go wrong Lori, if you follow your heart and just do what feels right! So much luck to you. I'm cheering you on!!!
Thanks for sharing this wonderful article. There are so many tips related to healthy hair.
Hi Lori! Thank you, I'm so glad that you've found it helpful! :)
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