I didn't feel like "Me" and every time that I looked in the mirror or saw my reflection in a glass storefront, I'd get a shock of gray surprise, like: "whooooo is that???" "Aren't I a brunette?" I'd say to myself?
I really struggled with how I looked. Every well-meaning, but often unhelpful comment, every side-ways glance at the grocery store or every stare on the street, they all reminded me over and over of how much I wanted to flee from this "journey." It reminded me of how uncomfortable that I felt in my own skin. A place that I never felt particularly confident in anyhow, but now, it was even harder.
Growing your gray hair out can make for difficult times. It is a roller coaster of emotions.
But..... I put on a brave face. And even, sometimes a smile. And I reminded myself of the WHY I was doing this. For me, it was firstly because my allergic reactions to hair dye were getting worse and worse. Secondly it was because as I learned about living a more natural lifestyle, the more I wanted to keep away from extra chemicals that were not necessary to put on my head. I wanted to not have to worry about my roots showing every three weeks, not have to bother with the mess of hair dye, the time it took, or the cost.
1.) I no longer had a "skunk strip," it was more like a block of gray color.
2.) My pixie cut grew out, and my hair was long enough to pull back in small clips.
3.) My hair grew to shoulder length. At least the cut was feeling more like me.
4.) It was long enough to cut some of the old color off, but I still had length left over.
Yet through the small victories, there was always always a group of questions looming in my head:
"WILL I EVER FEEL JUST NORMAL AGAIN!?"
"WILL I EVER FEEL LIKE THE OLD ME AGAIN!?"
"WILL I EVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE MY HOUSE AGAIN AND NOBODY STARES OR GLANCES OR COMMENTS!?"
"WHEN WILL LIFE JUST GET BACK TO NORMAL!?"
A person can start to feel pretty sad when they can't see an end point and when they don't know if they'll ever feel like their old selves again......
But I am here to tell you Silver Sisters that THERE IS HOPE! That you WILL feel like yourself again! That you WILL one day leave your house and nobody will stare. That the comments will slow down or even stop! That one day, you will wake up, take a shower, get dressed and go about your day without even giving the color of your gray hair a second thought! \(^-^)/
Yep! It's ok guys. You CAN go from hiding away and fear to smiling and feeling normal again. And besides, in the meantime, you can just buy cute winter hats like THIS ONE that I found ! ;)
I wasn't going for beautiful or "cool" or perfection with growing out my gray hair. I was just aiming for healthier and NORMAL. I'm happy with normal. I'm satisfied with normal.
This is me this morning on a normal day. No time for curling my hair or doing anything special. I'm a Mom of an elementary school aged child, a puppy and two cats. I wake up at 6:00am. Everyone is out of the house by 8:00am. Nothing big about this morning. I got ready, I went on errands. The day progressed. And you know what? I'm A 37 YEAR OLD WOMAN WITH A FULL HEAD OF GRAY HAIR and nobody said anything! I didn't even catch any looks! I didn't even THINK about my hair! \(^-^)/
So you see...... one day, everything will just be NORMAL again! I promise ya!
(Goin' about my day, not thinking about mah hairs until I took this picture for this post....)
So friends, if you're going through your hair transition. If you're like me in the winter of 2012 and feeling low and lonely or sad, please know that I for one believe that you can do it! And even more so, I know that one day soon.....soon....soon....SOON......YOU will also feel like your old self again. You'll learn to like this 2.0 version of your hair, it'll all be ok. HAVE HOPE MY FRIENDS! IT'S ALL GOING TO BE JUST FINE! :)
Love you lots and lots! I'm sending you cheer and wishes for feeling like your good old self again soon!