Monday, January 18, 2016

When You've Got the Gray Hair Blues. My 4 Top Tips for Getting Through the Hard Times!

Negative! Whoooo ME!!!? (Yes.)

It hit me right after New Years. This little voice inside my head that started saying: "I just wish I had a hair color like everyone else." "I don't want to be different. I don't want to be a gray-haired lady." Then the negative thoughts included what-if questions like: "What if it really really ages me?" and "what if it just looks terrible?" 

Probably most damaging, I then started to hyper-focus on all of my hair flaws- the yellowing ends, the frizz, the way it was white on top but a muddy brown on the bottom. I was in the rut of all hair-ruts. I had a bad case of the gray hair blues.

What followed was a frantic Pinterest search for women who made their gray hair look great. I was going to try to gleam some tips off of them. This was followed by a sudden and impulsive decision to cut my hair into a pixie cut again. I emailed Jon at work, I called my Mom at home. Should I do it? Should I do it!? Jon was supportive as always, and my Mom begged me not to, being in her opinion that my gray hair was too pretty to cut off.

I'm glad that I came to my own decision that I wouldn't be any happier with a short style, and that I was being rash, before I had time to schedule an appointment at my salon. That said, WHAT WAS GOING ON to cause these sad feelings of hair hate all the sudden!!? This June will mark the 5th anniversary of deciding to start this gray hair journey. For the most part, even through the toughest, early stages, I've stayed pretty positive. What was eating at me now?

I thought about all this for a while, and I realized that it has been the recent lack of care and attention that I've given to my hair! I know this sounds trivial, but my first tip is:

1.) You have to realize that having gray hair takes just as much, if not MORE care and attention than your dyed hair color did.

In September of 2014 we unexpectedly became the parents to a little 9-week-old puppy. Nearly overnight my world changed for quite a while. Instead of taking the time to blow-dry and style my hair each day, or schedule regular trims and hair glazes that removed the yellow, brassy tones, I stayed home. I was chasing a puppy who needed to go out to pee every 30 minutes and who wanted to chew up my house. There wasn't a lot of self-care going on, especially with my hair. 

Without the time and attention to drying my hair properly and styling it, due to my hair's texture, you're just left with a frizzy, poofy mess. Without regular trips to the salon, my white hair tends to yellow on the ends over time, from heat styling and product build-up. It's kind of a vicious cycle. If I don't take the time to make my difficult hair texture presentable, I look unkempt, but if I do use some of the products or heat styling tools, then I look yellowed.

The point is, I kind of let me hair care go to the wayside for a while, and ended up cutting a whole bunch of length off, twice, because I couldn't stand it. What I SHOULD have done was found the time to care for my hair's needs. 
Fast forward to this summer and fall. Once again I became very busy. This time with Noah, his busy summer and then school refusal in the fall. Now I'm a homeschool Mom, and it would be fair to say that once again, I've kind of put my hair care on the back burner.

I've come to suddenly realize this, and I think it is precisely  the reason that I've been having the gray hair blues! Yes, I've been using gray-hair-specific shampoo and conditioner, and styling products that don't seem to leave deposits behind that yellow.  Still though, it's not enough, I haven't been to the salon in, gosh, seven months or more. I've found that going about every 3 months to trim the old, brassy ends off and having a clear glaze with a very slight  purple tone, it does wonders to make my white hair brighter and helps with the unruly texture. I'm long overdue.

Ok, so practical tip - (one which I intend to follow up on ASAP)- be sure to schedule regular "maintenance" with a trusted and loved professional. Whether that be tiny trims just to keep your ends nice and a good shape to your cut, or a conditioning treatment or shiny glaze. It doesn't have to be expensive or time consuming or full of chemicals. It can be the basics. Find an establishment that works for YOU and your needs.

2.) When you're feeling blue, reach for the blue. First things first, when I'm feeling like I don't love the look of my hair color, I make sure that I've recently tried a gray-hair-specific shampoo and conditioner, which are usually tinted blue or purple. These can work wonders in just an application or two, to brighten up your whites and possibly your whole outlook on things. I talk about my favorite gray hair shampoos and conditioners HERE! There are several in different price points. Some are more natural too. Sometimes this little boost is enough to get you back on track. It's quick and easy too.

3.) Go the extra step. Don't just resort to your old stand-by. If your hair is long enough, nothing is easier than a quick ponytail. That ponytail is my go-to hairdo when I'm sad about my hair. It just kind of pulls everything up and away from my view. The catch is, wearing a ponytail, for me personally, doesn't make me feel pretty or good about myself. I feel rather sloppy. I have yet to be able to make one of those fancy, sleek yet perfectly volumized ponytails on myself. 

The thing is, if you're not feeling good about the way your hair looks, you need to stop what you're doing and try something different. This is when I take down my ponytail and go back to my set of rollers. The heat styling isn't great for my white hair, but it gives me bounce and body and volume. I also took another step. I didn't want my hair hanging in my face and I wanted to try something fun to raise my spirits. Enter barrettes! Barrettes and cheap, easy to find, easy to use. They add some youthfulness. 

So you see, changing the way you style your hair, taking the time and making the effort to do something different will really really help to hopefully change your feelings. From a new styling cream, to voluming rollers, barrettes, headbands, A NEW PART ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE, they can all work wonders! 

4.) POSITIVITY IS THE WAY TO GET THROUGH YOUR GRAY HAIR GROW-OUT AND ON TO LIKING AND BEING OK WITH YOU HAIR!

They say that positivity is a choice (I think they say that about happiness too), and I think in REASONABLE circumstances, everyday circumstances, this can be true. When I had my last, allergic reaction to hair dye and couldn't find a natural dye that would work to cover all of my gray and the henna had turned my hair bright red and brittle, I knew I was pretty much out of options. I was the 33-year-old Mom of a six-year-old and I had a giant skunk stripe of shockingly white hair coming in. I realized that I had a choice. I could stay scared and bummed and grasping, grasping at anything that could help. Like homemade concoctions that only stained my white hair a pale yellow, not back to it's original dark brown. Or, I could not give up, but surrender and JUST GO WITH IT! See where this new journey would take me!

When you surrender and you just float down stream, you start to relax. And, when you start to relax, a lot of the time we begin to feel calm enough to see things from a new perspective- a more POSITIVE perspective. My gray hair STRUGGLE became an ADVENTURE! An interesting adventure at that. I decided to see it as:"Oh boy! whaaaaat IS my REAL color underneath all that dye? How exciting that soon the big mystery if my color will be revealed." I also looked at it as: "Woo Hoo! My own, little chance to be a social deviant! Ha! Defy convention. TOWANDA!!!" The other, most amazing thing that came from this positive outlook that kept me on this path - I MET ALL OF YOU MY SILVER SISTERS!!! I would have never ever met all of you and would never have been the recipient of so much love, encouragement and support in my life, had I not gone gray and connected with all of YOU!  We've connected with each other, here, on Facebook, in  our respective groups and with our friends and family. Our silver is a "conversation piece" that has fostered all kinds of talks and reaching out and the making caring relationships. Now isn't that worth it!? :)

It's fine and NORMAL to have our down days. I sure do! Nobody is constantly positive. Then you'd be a scary Stepford wife or a humanoid robot only programed for "perma-smile." That's not real. You're real. Just know that over the years, I have learned time and time again, that my attitude about this whole journey has been one of the biggest helps or hindrances to my happiness regarding my gray hair.


Until next, know that ALL THINGS MUST PASS. You'll feel better soon if you just use a bit of TLC and positivity. You can do this Silver Sister!!! \(^-^)/
xoxoxoxoxox,
Lauren 
P.S. PLEASE, stop by any time to my Facebook page and feel free to join and share your stories or pictures with our other Silver Sisters! I love hearing about your "adventures too." 



39 comments:

joolsann said...

this is so funny! I too have just hit my 'hair blues', and realised I am desperately in need of a trim.
I stopped dying my hair mid 2012, am a 35 year old mum to a 6 and 2 year old, and I have never had so many comments from women who love my hair colour. From older women who are jealous that I have the guts to to it, and younger women that ask me where I get it done, and can't believe that it's natural.
I love catching up on your blog, keep up the positivity, you look great. x

Lauren said...

Awww, Joolsann, we're on the same "blues schedule!" Lol. Well then, all we have left to do is then just pamper ourselves with a trim. :) You know, what you said is very true, people never used to ever compliment or talk about my hair until I went gray. Perhaps we should just believe their compliments and love it too. Thank you so so much for reading and taking the time for such a nice "hello."
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo,
Lauren :)

Anonymous said...

It's good you didn't give in. I was growing out my gray to see how much I have and after a while it just seemed too salt and pepper and not "gray enough" to continue and will wait until another time. I ended up getting low lights and temporary glaze of my dark color. It looks nice but very dark. I'm now getting grey coming through and I'm actually happy about it. I need to strategically work it in. You on the other hand have almost all gray which justifies your grow out. It looks awesome and you look bright and beautiful. Your blue eyes pop, too! If you broke down and colored your hair you would regret it. Keep it up! ~ Patty

Lauren said...

Hey Patty! Thank you! I know, I would regret it so so much if I cut or colored it. You're right. I'm glad that you're happy about your gray coming through now, that's fabulous. It's kind of neat seeing how our coloring changes and evolves as it comes in. I really really appreciate your encouragement.
xoxoxoxoxoxo,
Lauren

Liz said...

I quit coloring a year ago and then chopped all the old color out 8 months later. Not pretty but I read your old blog posts a couple of times to help me keep the faith. I get a lot of compliments on my gray.I even interviewed and got a great new job this year so phooey to the myth that grey hair makes you look too old to hire. We all have bad hair days, weeks or years. Keep the faith... You are more than your hair! Thank you for your writing... They've helped more than you probably know!

Lauren said...

Hi Liz!

Oh that's fantastic! Congratulations on the position that you got and for sharing with us, dispelling that myth! I'm so happy for you and glad you were able to stick with it. Thank you Liz!!!
xoxoxoxo

Our Adventures As A Family of 4.... said...

It took me a year to grow out my hair and I was lucky it was mostly white on top. But I have found myself getting bored at times of the white. I had it almost shoulder length then my stylist decided not to cut hair anymore and quit. I went 6 mos with out a hair cut, the longest time I had ever gone between cuts. It was weird. Then I found my neighbor's daughter a young 20something who immediately did what she wanted with it and hacked it. I was horrified but kept going with her and eventually we got to an understanding and I was happy with it. She just recently had a baby, so it has been 3 mos almost since my last cut because I couldn't get in last month for a cut before she had the baby. So it's growing out from a bit of a short cut. I sometimes think it ages me, but I really don't miss the hair coloring every 5 weeks, and roots at 3. It truly is worth it, as I feel a bit prettier, not expecting that, ever. Some people like it, an older aunt said, "why on earth would you do that to your hair?" So mixed reactions. I have also found since I am in my 50's people tend to treat me like I am elderly. I really hate that because I don't feel my age at all. Your hair looks great Lauren, you inspired me in the beginning when I found your blog. I am glad homeschooling is going well for Noah. I meant to reply on your blog post on that. I have a couple of anxious daughters, so I truly get how Noah feels. The girls will ask to call me from school and luckily the office staff let them. Sometimes for them just hearing my voice helps. If we needed to homeschool we would. I think you are doing what Noah needs and I am sure it's a challenge but you are a good mama. :-) Thanks for sharing your tips. For what it's worth I really like your hair short. Molly

Lauren said...

Molly!!!!! Hi Molly!!! Such a nice comment. You have been my friend and silver sister for quite a while now, thank you, you are always cheering me on and adding good insight. I'm with you, I think it's all worth it to not have to color our roots ever three weeks. That was always such a chore. Everybody will have their opinions, you just have to do what's right for you.
Thank you so much for the encouragement about homeschool as well. It's also been an interesting "adventure." I'm sorry that you're dealing with anxiety with the girls too. It can be hard and sad. Noah's teachers let him call home and it did help!! Definitely. Things were just worse this fall than before and we couldn't even get him out the door to school most days. The good news is, he is feeling much much much better now and not as anxious at all. :)

Thank you Molly, I loved your comment.
xoxoxox

Janet said...

Towanda!!! Oh I just love that movie - and that sentiment.

I'm glad you've come to realize why you were feeling down about your hair. So many Mums don't have the time to care for themselves, but it is so important! If you haven't already seen it, Google Jada Pinkett-Smith talking to her daughter & her mother about being a wife & mother. It's a great little video.

So, shall I pop back in 3 months & remind you to take care of you & book a salon appointment? 😄

Lauren said...

Janet! Oh my gosh, I DID see that clip of Jada Pinkett-Smith and I was blown away. It was GREAT! She's right, huh!
Thank you for validating my "TOWANDA!!!" It is such an amazing movie. <3

Ha! Sure, you can remind me to go to the salon and pamper myself any time!!!! :)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Heather said...

Hi Lauren!!!!

I love, love, love your hair!!! If I could wake up tomarrow with your hair color, I would be soooo happy. I have been dying my hair for years. I have medium-dark brown hair. I've had blonde highlights,light brown highlights. I have had so many hair color mixups at even high end salons I could write a blog just about that. But nowadays, when I look in the mirror I see brown hair that has seen better days. Probably for at least a year I have not liked the color. I'm 46 and a Mom of 2 girls. I started looking on Pinterest the other day and was so happy to find you! You are such an inspiration! I actually was having a bad hair day today, and pinned my hair on each side with little jaw clips like you mentioned. It really helped! When I look at your hair and makeup thats what I want!

But what if it grows in WHITE!!!! Can I reverse highlight it with some darkness. Because I really don't want white hair. It's probably a fun journey, I guess I have to be prepared for whatever!

My 70 year old mother still dyes her hair brown every 3-4 weeks. I mentioned going gray to her and she said "why would you do that?" And then said, she too was thinking of it. The smell of the dye really bothers her. It bothers me also, and gives me a headache.

Not to go on and on, but I really think your family is so sweet. Your son really looks happy in his pictures. Sometimes we have to do what is necessary for our children, and you are absolutely the best mother! I also think Noah reminds me of the little boy in Sleepless in Seattle...

Thank you for your blog and opening your home and heart to us.

Heather

Lauren said...

Hi Heather!!!

Oh you are so sweet and kind to saw all of those nice things. I'm glad that you're here and that you found your way to the blog. Thank you for your words about Noah. He is feeling happy these days. :) And you're right, I think he kind of looks like the little boy from SIS too! :)

Heather, those little hair clips work so well for me too. I'm glad you like them. At Target I found some in gray and clear. I want to collect some of the pretty, sparkly ones too. There's lots of them online.

I laughed out loud when you mentioned that after telling your Mom that you might stop coloring your hair, she said : "Now why would you do that?" Followed by telling me that she might stop now too. Ha! I know, I completely understand where you and your Mom are coming from about the smell. It really really bothered me and gave me terrible headaches.

All I can say is the freedom from having to dye your roots every few weeks can be so so nice. :)
My hair started gray and now it is becoming more and more white. I think I might be the opposite because I think, at least on me, the white suites my skin tone better? If that's a thing. LOL.

At any rate, here's the bottom line, if you decide you are ready to grow-out your hair, then at any time, if you don't like it, you can always go back to coloring! No problem! I think all colors are lovely and we have to do what's right for our own selves. That's important. Follow your heart!

Thank you again Heather, for sharing and for all the nice words. If you feel like it, please keep me posted if you take this journey!
xoxoxoxoxoxo

topwriter said...

Lovely article. Maybe try scheduling a 'home visit hairdresser'. Easier to fit into a busy schedule where getting into the car, finding park, waiting in salon, trundling from sink across salon, waiting for colour to work etcetc, is not quite so efficient, or relaxing! Many 'homers'are people who are also trying to make money around kids and their timetable. By making it easy for yourself, it's a bit more inspiring to take the special care regularly!

Lauren said...

Topwriter, what a FABULOUS idea!!! I never thought of that, but you're so right! I love my hairstylist dearly, love, love love. She was my first cheerleader! I've known her now for nearly five years. If she ever stops working, then I go straight to finding myself a home visit hairdresser. :) I think your idea is GREAT!

Thank you so much! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Lisa M. said...

You know Lauren, it must be the winter blahs or something because I was going through the same thing. I think I need a trim but part of me wants to get this hair growing since I trimmed off all the old dye. Oh well...
Look, when I start feeling kind of old and dumpy with this hair, I think of the couple of nightmares I had where I had dyed it boring brown again and was horrified until I woke up!
In my dream, I'm always looking at the roots coming in and wondering if I was drunk when I put it on my head - it always looks terrible. I ALWAYS say to myself, "Well crap! I have to start all over!" I DON'T want to start all over, so I imagine it's just that winter thing.
Some new lipstick, nail polish and maybe a new outfit always brings me around.
Keep on being your inspirational self and posting. You are never alone girl!

Anonymous said...

Lauren! Your blog is the first I've come across when I decided to 'go gray'! You are so pretty and you gave me the incentive to push through and do this! I'm 6 months in...started my own blog about it! Going back into your old posts to see your transition :)

Kelly Mercer said...

HI silver sister! I stopped dying May 2015 and haven't looked back. I crtainly have my freak out days where I feel old, ugly, etc but I mostly feel empowered. Does that make sense? Hair is healthy and shines and I save tons of time and money not being at a salon every 4 weeks. Due for a few highlights and keratin treatment soon.

Thanks for your blog. Love your hair! You look fabulous!

Kelly

Delaine said...

I have been dye free/silver for several years now and love it!! I also love the products you recommend that are sulfate-paraben-silicone free. I am still using the shea moisture coconut hibiscus shampoo and conditioner...great products! Do you have a silicone free product that you like for smooth and shine? They are hard to find. I have used coconut oil and shea moisture reconstructive elixir. Any other favorites? Thank you!

Lauren said...

Hi Delaine!!!!! :)

Thank you for writing!!! I'm sorry that this comment is so short, but I didn't want to leave you hanging. I don't know off the top of my head which products I've used are silicon-free or not, but, here is a link to all of my most favorite styling products etc... These are what I've used and loved! :)

Hope this helps. Thanks again!!!!
xoxoxoxoxox
http://howbourgeois.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html

Donna said...

Love your confidence! Your photos on Pinterest have inspired me, and I decided to grow my grey out two years ago. I had long hair, and had done "grey blending", but the colorist basically overbleached it, and the two-tonedness looked awful after the grey had grown out to shoulder-length. I had my regular stylist cut off about 9" of hair last August (shoulder-length), which brought out my curls, and I've received a lot of compliments on my grey/salt & pepper color. With my very fair/slightly olive complection, I look washed out frequently, and I decided to experiment. When I was a teenager, I liked to color my hair burgundy and purple colors... so... recently, I've gone back to my colorful teenage color experimenting with the discovery of Manic Panic. OMG, the stuff is great! My grey and white hair picks up the color really well, so I can do random vibrant streaks where there's more grey, or my whole head in a pastel shade, and it washes out completely in about 2 weeks. Each day the color looks a little different, and I've had LOTS of compliments. I've stuck to a lilac-y shade, but my next adventure will by pastel pink over what's remaining of the lilac in front. So, grey hair can be fun!

Suewithmanypets said...

I am new to your blog and at 55 I am just starting the going grey trip. i found you by your pictures on pintrest. I started turning grey when I was 19. By 26 I was having my hair professionally colored with permanent color because it was the only thing that covered the grey. Fast forward 31 years and a lot of money and time and limitations later, I am ready.

I went every 3 to 4 weeks because my hair grows fast and i have a ton of it. I would never wear my hair up or in a pony tail past the week after may touch up because I already had roots. If I missed an appointment I would be in hide and disguise mode, being careful not to sweep my hair back with my hands or let it blow in the wind. I know it sounds nuts. It is.

So, if you hadn't started this journey;
I wouldn't have found you on pintrest,
I wouldn't have been inspired to take this step,
I wouldn't have found your blog as a resource, and
I wouldn't have you and your followers as a sisterhood of grey.
So thank you for taking this trip and sharing it with all of us. You created positive ripples and they just reached my shore.

PS. I have also found the heatless styling videos on you tube helpful and very simple to do. Some are as simple as pulling your hair up on the top of your head and twisting it
into a bun and going to bed. -thanks again, Sue in Michigan

Anonymous said...

So glad I found your blog! Loving all the great advice. One question for you; I too am a blue eyed former natural brunette. Did you find that the new hair color required a change in the color of the make up you use? Did the colors that once looked good on you clothing and make up wise change? Thanks!

Lauren said...

Hi!!! That's a great question! Thank you! Yes, I found that I was able to wear, or looked better in certain colors of clothing and make-up once my hair grew out. I figured it out through trial and error honestly. Because our hair can be white or gray or salt-and-pepper and our skin's undertones can be different, I don't want to steer you in the wrong direction. Play around with color and just have fun and you'll start seeing what makes you look and feel bright! :) For example, I learned that some deep, blueish gray tones worked as clothing with me now. Many blues colors in general are good with my coloring. White and cream and warm tones are not good with my hair. I really like most pastels and some jewel tones! As far as make-up goes, that's so much fun. I add a bit of color to my cheeks and some light, youthful lipstick. Mascara is my bff!

I hope this helps! Have fun, finding my new colors was the most exciting part!!!!
xoxoxoxo

melanie ylang said...

Wow Lauren, what a great blog! You have the prettiest hair, and it makes me thrilled to be part of this revolution in going grey gracefully - I turned 40 last year, and have been colour-free for four years. You seem to have found a really flattering style, could you please share your advice about getting a great hair cut? I usually get a modern square layer in my gently wavy hair, but feel it looks a bit too flyaway as more grey comes in.
Warm regards,
Melanie

Lauren said...

Hi Melanie!!!

Your comment was so sweet, thank you. It's great to meet you!!! :)

Ah! Such a good question about hair styles. I have to be completely honest with your though, I haven't had my hair cut since last June, so it's been nearly a year. I'm just lucky that it's grown out in an ok shape. Last June it was cut into a kind of "bob" style with a few long layers. I wish that I knew more about hair styles, it's something that I personally need to learn about!

After looking at myself and others, I tend to feel that young grey-haired people tend to look younger with more youthful cuts. I think my bob aged me, and I like a bit longer hair, so my goal is to have it somewhere below my shoulders. On the flip-side though, the more gray I get, the more and more I have to work to keep it not so frizzy! It's a labor of love with gray hair. :)

Melanie, I wish I had more info for you, but if you find a cut that you love and makes you feel great, then I don't think you can go wrong!!! \('-')/

Thank you so much for writing!!!
xoxoxoxoxo

melanie ylang said...

Thanks for your reply Lauren. Wow, I am so impressed by how well your cut has grown out, it looks immaculate! I've always gone for a retro style (loosely based on a mid-century "long middy" cut) about 6" below my shoulders at back but shorter at front, to make Victory rolls and pinup hairstyles (seldom actually worn!), and because the blunt layers don't get as fluffy/frizzy as with more modern cutting techniques. I air dry and don't use heat ever, or much product, but did cave in to my stylist's suggestion of Redken 25 Benefits, which I do really like. I'm really lazy with my hair so like my cut to work hard!

Lauren said...

Hi Melanie!!!

Oh, your hair sounds GORGEOUS! It must be beautiful! I love love pinup styles. I follow a bunch of YouTubers who have retro hair and make-up tutorials. I adore victory rolls and such. :)

I MUST get better at using less heat-styling. Even before I was grey, my hair has always been quite frizzy and coarse. Without even a little heat, my hair would be a puffy mess. I will look into Redken 25 Benefits!

Your question inspired me to book an appointment with my stylist. I miss her and it's time!

Thanks Melanie!!! If you're on Facebook and feel like it, if you want, I'd love to see your hair sometime, especially in victory rolls. Sometimes Silver Sisters post a pic to the How Bourgeois Facebook page from time to time for inspiration. Only if you want though.

Thanks, hope you're having a great weekend!!! :)
xoxo

melanie ylang said...

Oh I'm glad I could return the joy, I hope you get a cut you love! Do blog about it. I've followed you on Facebook now :)

Lauren said...

Yay! Thank you so much. Ok, I will keep you posted! <3
Thank you for inspiring ME! :)

Carrie said...

I love your hair longer but then again I have long hair---I maybe "a bit" biased.It took 1yr and 4 months to grow my hair and I still had dyed ends attached but in the perfect ratio of white to dye. It looked cool and at age 45 that is quite a feat. Tons of compliments. I got the dyed ends cut off because I no longer had a hairstyle but only long hair. Having a hair style makes all of the difference.
May dye the ends again soon.
You have been such an inspiration. Thank you for everything.
Noah truly does look relaxed and comfortable and it is wonderful that you are able to home school. Take care!

Sue Paget said...

Hi beauty

Thanks so much for writing this post - You really nailed the importance of allowing ourselves to always keep an eye out for whether we're giving ourselves enough self-care combined with the supreme myth bust that doing the silver sister thing is a low maintenance experience. Hardly. Those wobbly times - and I had one recently - are big messages to get some loving attention and it's amazing how much even one little thing can help. You putting this out there will help many!

xx

Sue

Mandy Grant said...

Lauren, I've enjoyed your blog for over 2 years now...you inspired me to quit the color and free my grays!

THANK YOU for your constant encouragement and tips for us Silver Sisters - it was hard at first for me to "go gray" at 31 years old - but I am SO glad I did.

Thanks again for putting yourself out there - you've helped me so much. :)

YAY GRAY!

Johannainen said...

How cool it was to find your blog. I found it via Pinterest. I've been fighting for many years with this "problem" that my hair is getting grey. Fortunately it started to be fashion some years ago and then it encouraged me to grow up my own color in 2013. Unfortunately I got bored with my natural hair color in 6 months and I tested some "blonde" permanent color which dyed my hair brow...then I tried to fix it with color removal and it started my blonde moment. Anyways, later when I went to hairdresser after my blonde project (I dyed my hair at home always) and she said that my hairtops are so burned because of coloring that I can't imagine that any other direct colors would stick in it anymore. Finally at last autumn I decided to start again my grey growing project and embrace my own hair color again. Somehow I got annoyed of permanent hair colors and I wanted to get my own, healthy hair back.
So now I'm growing up it again and if I ever decide to change color, I don't want to damage my own hair anymore, I will use direct colors or pastels, or toner if I want any change. But for myself it has been a bit long progress to accept my hair is getting grow, since I was over 30 years old. It's so wonderful to find people posting blogs or anything about this project. In Finland this is still a new thing that young people are wanting to get silver or grey (granny hair) and I didn't find anyone posting blogs about their project to grow up their natural grey but it seems that it's more common abroads. :) Thank you for your cool blog, u look gorgeous with your grey hair and not at all old grandma. I will follow your posts. Thank you.

Nancy D said...

Hi Lauren
Thanks again for a great post! I've been popping in once in awhile during my journey. I think I have 2 months to go in order to chop off the color on the ends. So yes I have had some bad days this winter. I've noticed that you have to keep the white hair neater otherwise you start to look a little crazy! ha. I have a big white chunk in the front that just ends and then becomes dark brown again. Very interesting. I have invested in better hair products, new hair dryer and a few hats! Recently I bought brand new foundation and some new eye shadow colors, I tend toward silver or white with my blue eyes. If anyone out there is thinking of doing this, you can do it. I was most scared at the very beginning but I really don't care what people think now. I am still me and sometimes I just plain forget about the funky hair when I am out. I am almost 42 and this has been a turning point for me after dying hair for 18 years. Also you will get the compliments which always take me aback but love hearing them just the same.

Jelena said...

Hello! I just found your blog through Pinterest and have loved reading your story! I'm 34 years old and have been dying gray hairs on my head since college. My husband hates that I dye my hair, but I didn't want to look old with gray hair. After reading your blog and seeing another young person with lots of gray, I'm convinced that I can quit the dye and go gray too! My sister is getting married in July though and I'm the maid of honor, so I will start my transition after that (I'm pretty sure my mom & sister would pin me down & dye my hair if I showed up in mid-transition for the wedding). I'm nervous and excited to start the journey, and will keep reading your blog for motivation and inspiration. Thank you!!!!

Debbie said...

Hi Lauren, I've come back to your blog after finding it a few years ago. At that point I was intruiged but not brave enough to go grey yet. Now I'm approaching 45 I'm finally over dying my hair (after doing it for 20 years) and have decided to embrace my natural colour. I am actually really excited! It's only been 8 weeks, but my hair grows super fast so I have a skunk line already. So far headbands are working for me, and I'm not scared of chopping it all off to a pixie cut and going from there if I don't like the transition. Thank you so much for the encouragement and sharing your journey, you really make it easier for this to be a positive experience!

Melinda said...


Hi Lauren, I love your make-up in the new picture you posted on Facebook and Instagram. What did you use for your eye make-up, lipstick and blush? So pretty.
Thanks so much for being such an inspiration. I'm having fun testing new colors
in make-up and clothes since going grey.

Lauren said...

Hi Melinda!!! Thanks so much for your comment! :)

It is fun playing around with make-up and clothing colors, isn't it?

Some of the make-up that I used in that picture is a bit old, but basically, I highlighted my brow bone with a white shadow and then the rest of my lid is a pale pink. I think it's Seashell by Maybelline. I used Pixie's eyeliner in black from Target and Phsycian's Formula waterproof mascara in black. My blush is from Vapour Cosmetics . I love it, it's a cream blush in the color "Ethos." It is a multi-stick that you can also use on your lips and eyes. My lipstick is kind of old. It's a pinky-nude color from Rimmel London, also found at Target. It's the Lasting finish matte lipstick by Kate Moss. I hope this helps, have lots of fun!!!

Lil O said...

Your hair looks amazing! I'm jealous of your courage to go gray.

I've been trying to build up the courage for a couple of years now. I keep saying I'll do it when I'm 50... that's 4 more years!!! the hardest part for me is my extended family, mom, sister, female cousins who all dye their hair. Our family looks very young for our ages, but the downside is we ALL gray prematurely. They've threatened to "hold me down" to dye my hair... smh they'd probably do it!

its so difficult, especially since my gray grows out ALL OVER... the gray frames my face. I did try dying some strands gray a few months back, but either my hairdresser didn't know what she was doing or my hair just didn't want to cooperate.