The State of the Noah (and Lauren) Address

And just like that.....he went back to school!

In the springtime, when Noah went to an admissions visit at his old school for evaluations, I wasn't sure about everything. Would my child be ready for what they call the "rigor and pace" of the middle and upper school? Was it a good decision to toss him back into the fast moving currents of a competitive private school? Didn't I whole-heartedly embrace the message in the movie "Race to Nowhere, " - that the current American educational model promotes painfully over-scheduled extracurriculars, crushing academic pressure, nearly inevitable student burnout and the loss of a free childhood? I did! I did believe all of these things. (I still do honestly).

So that's why, after his three-day visit in April, after they delivered the news that he was accepted back in, I looked Noah squarely in the eyes and said: "Do you want to do this? Are you ready to commit?"  He squirmed in his chair, scratched his head and let out a sigh.  "Ohhhh I don't know what to do," he said, "It's a lot of work."  I also thought, "It's a lot of tuition!"

The three of us decided that until Noah was sure that he wanted to return and SURE that he was up to the challenge and committed to doing his best, school could wait. I loved homeschooling in theory anyway, loved the"good days," at least,  and the fun adventures and the excitement of learning in new and dynamic ways. I love the slow pace and the freedom, and most of all, living outside of the what society dictates. I LOVED BEING A Non-joiner, it THRILLED me! 

So with a bit of fear and some worries of regret, I turned down the school contract for the 2017/2018 year and we went on our way. 

Then summer hit. Summer, long stretches of day when Noah's study group at his tutor's was not in session. His soul outlet for social interaction beyond the "playdates" that he so actively resists. All he wanted to do now was play his online computer games, game while talking to friends over Skype. Nothing could entice him to willingly go do something else, no trip to the pool or a lake, no museum, park, movie, playground or even amusement park. He just had zero interest in anything other than his video games. We kept up with our plans to homeschool year-round, which included summertime math and writing, but getting my tween to sit down and do that was like pulling teeth. Not like it was easy for any part of the past two years, but the older Noah became, the more complex it got, the more I waited for his intrinsic motivation to kick in.

One day, in the beginning of August, I came home to find him sitting in front of his computer yet again, unmoved, in exactly the same spot that I saw him hours before. Something inside of me just surrendered. It's like they say- a switch just flipped. Involuntarily, I swear, something made me blurt out words I did not think I would ever blurt! "Noah, I can't do this anymore. You need to go back to school."  And just as shockingly, he replied instantaneously with an enthusiastic: "Ok!"

That was perplexing....for us both! So it was, a conversation and a few emails later, that Noah was back at his old school, re-testing his math, visiting for orientation, and today, he JOYFULLY rode off on his bike....

*On a side-note, as excited and super happy as I am for us all to have this new chapter at school, I can't deny that I have carried with me a bit of sadness for the loss of our homeschooling days and the truly wonderful homeschooling friends that we've made. I feel as though NOTHING else in my life has changed me as much as the experience of Noah unexpectedly leaving school and having to find our way. Homeschooling taught a most valuable thing- that LIFE IS OURS TO MAKE IT. That you CAN do what you need to do, that you CAN do what your child needs. That you DON'T have to let others pressure, scare or worry you into taking the path that you think is not right for your son or daughter. While I had heaping amounts of encouragement and support from friends, family, teachers and doctors, a few warned me that homeschooling could be a disaster, that once I stop trying to FORCE him back into school, that he will NEVER go back!

Well, look at Noah now- happily going back to school under his own steam. Happy and healthy, not worried or anxious at all. A fine writer, a great reader, a boy who can carry his own in math. Friend of friends and eager to start an after school history club. HE'S FINE! I'm so grateful that I listened to my inner voice and didn't let fear stop me form doing what I felt was best for us.

My dear readers, no matter what you face in life, whether it's a parenting issue, or your career or making a huge decision, know that it's ok to follow your heart and if your heart is telling you to, take a little break from following the flock. It will be ok. 💗

So what's an ex-homeschool Mom to do? Well, for me, it included a new 6:00am wake-up call, the re-instament of my Blogilates routine:

Some laundry, some cleaning, an errand, a dog walk, the ironing, dinner prep and a lot of coffee. A LOT of coffee....

One of my newest ex-homeschool Mom duties though, is to hopefully off-set some of the tuition costs through working on this blog and other places in this vast blogosphere.  Also, I STARTING AN ONLINE CLASS and TRAINING in a week!!! More on this in another post, but hopefully, it will lead me to being able to support, encourage and coach YOU in the near future! 😉💗😉

In the meantime, Josie and I promise to not waste anymore time playing around with the Photo Booth  app.  

Instead, I'll come to you next time with my NEW FOUND HAIR PRODUCT LOVE that has smoothed out and added shine to my hair unlike any other product before it. I've been testing this for you guys for a few months, and since there hasn't been any issues, I'm excited and ready to share!!! 

Ok, this is my cue. I'm off to figure out dinner. I think it's going to be something easy tonight, like this One Pan Cheesy Chicken, Broccoli and Rice from the Girl Who Ate Everything!  I'll let you know how things turn out, and for more of my top-pick recipe, from family meals, to vegetarian, Trader Joe's dishes and healthy selections, please visit How Bourgeois' Pinterest page!

Until next time!

Well, almost. Today still counts, right? It's September, it's the first day of school! It qualifies as "fall," right?????

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo,

Lauren 

Different Learners Change the World

Dear bloggy readers - parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers and friends of different learners, 

Today, I have a wonderful post to share with you! Do you remember earlier in the week when 

I wrote about the happy news of finding a unique learning environment for Noah?  How Noah "Goes to Kevin's" now, to learn and socialize and grow as a person? Well, Kevin has stopped by in my own, little corner of the internets in the form of a guest post today!

So many of us struggle with being "different learners" - you might have ADHD like I do, or dyslexia or dysgraphia or a processing issue. You might be a  kinesthetic learner and find sitting in your seat, listening to lectures from a teacher unbearable. Whatever way you or your child learns best, if it is not typically  part of a conventional education, Kevin will surely have some tips and advice to instill hope and inspiration in you!

As we get closer to the release date for Kevin's third book: Success and Failure with ADHD: The Oskar Schindler Story, I wanted to share a short post written by Kevin with you. Kevin talks about how different learners, often disregarded for their unique traits, can make for some of the most poignant, creative and positive changes in our world!

Different Learners Change the World - by Kevin Roberts

I am an adult with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and I run programs to help ADHD and different-learning youth succeed academically.  Every single day, I and millions like me struggle through this condition.  We have problems following through, staying focused, maintaining motivation, and completing tasks.  We do not function well in routine reality, but many of us thrive when life deals us intensity.  

When I travel, for example, my ADHD symptoms seem to vanish.  Being in new places and around new people excites me and activates my brain.  When I did a speaking tour through the United Kingdom and Europe this past March, I stayed organized and energized for two weeks straight.  I am an author and usually struggle terribly with writer’s block, but on that trip I completely edited my recently-finished book, started the outline for my next book, and finished the first stages of planning for an ADHD exchange trip coming this July.   While sitting still and completing rote tasks bedevils people like me, when life is filled with possibility and adventure, many of us with ADHD are unstoppable. 

The adults who surround ADHD young people frequently fail to focus on our strengths, and we can as a result develop serious self-esteem issues.  The good news is that there are great examples of extraordinarily successful people with ADHD and who learn differently, many of whom have changed the world.  We need ADHD heroes to inspire us and to counteract the steady diet of negativity that many of us receive in school.  

Love him or hate him, Sir Richard Branson has made a huge impact on the world of business.  Like many different learners, this amazingly successful billionaire does not play by the rules of the system, but rather creates his own systems, excelling in innovation and out-of-the-box thinking.  A visionary, he does not limit himself to one field, but is continually on the lookout for new and adventurous opportunities.  Like Sir Richard, ADHD young people often fail when shackled to the system because their strengths are pathologized.   Young people whose talents, like those of Sir Richard, include creativity, spontaneity, risk-taking, and playfulness are usually viewed by teachers as troublesome and problematic.  Weighted down with such labels, individuals like Sir Richard all too often perform poorly in school.   

So the place in which we spend 30-40 hours per week, an institution that essentially measures our worth, does not generally honor who we are and our unique contributions to the world.   We hunger for adventure, new experiences, and challenge.  Without these, we usually fail, or at least underperform.  School and many jobs just do not offer the stimulation we require to optimally function.  But solutions for different learners do not come from helping us succeed in living boring, mundane, and repetitive lives.  What if Sir Richard used his energy to force himself to play by the same rules as everyone else?  The world of business would be deprived of many innovative strategies.  

Another great ADHDer also struggled in school.  Unlike Sir Richard, this individual failed at almost every business he ever started.  But this man did something so extraordinary that his deeds will echo down the ages.  Oskar Schindler was kicked out of school, had numerous brushes with the law and, like many ADHDers who fail to find their way in life, struggled with addiction.  But during a brief period during World War II, the intensity and dire nature of circumstances brought forth his inner genius.  If you do not know the story, he outwitted the Nazis and saved 1200 Jewish people from the fires of Auschwitz.

Oskar Schindler had all the hallmarks of ADHD:  impulsivity, poor follow-through, difficulty staying on task, as well as terrible organizational challenges.  But when extreme intensity greeted him every day and when people’s lives depended on his actions and decisions, Schindler came alive!   A few wise Jewish businessmen in the Kraków ghetto saw Oskar’s genius and supported him in his most extraordinary endeavor.  Sir Richard’s parents also supported his every endeavor, and this fact underscores the importance of looking passed the disabilities, like Sir Richard’s dyslexia, and relentlessly shining light on a person’s strengths.         

In my work with different learners, I find that a very common strength is an innate desire to help others.  You will succeed in helping those of us with ADHD and learning differences if you work to empower us to find intensity and excitement, activities that activate our minds.  Better yet, help us find purpose.  People like us know the pain of alienation, of being shunted to the margins of school and the society at large, and so, many of us possess instinctual empathy and a desire to help ease the suffering in the world.  

We may not all have the skills and aptitudes to become billionaires or defeat an evil empire, but I assure that if you look carefully at a person with ADHD and peel back the problems and the difficulties, you will find an individual who powerfully wants to be of service.  You do us the most good when you help us help others.  With support, intense and relentless focus on our strengths, and the abiding belief that we have something unique to offer, you can help us—and we will—change the world.

My upcoming book goes into great detail on this phenomenon, The Oskar Schindler Story: Success and Failure with ADHD (Available on Amazon, July 2016).  Please contact me if you’d like to help spread the word on this groundbreaking book.  I believe this book will change the world!

To learn more about his work, or to contact Kevin, visit his website:  www.kevinjroberts.net.

Join myself and other parents like me on Kevin's Facebook forum: ADHD Change the World.

Finally, you can find Kevin's highly acclaimed first books, Movers, Dreamers and Risk-Takers: Unlocking the Power of ADHD   and Cyber Junkie: Escaping the Gaming and Internet Trap on Amazon.com.

Until next time, love yourself and love you kids, just the way they are!

xoxoxoxox,

Lauren :)

I Proudly Present!

Ladies and gentlemen,I VERY PROUDLY present to you: a newly minted Fifth Grader!!!!! \(^-^)/ His dream of having Uncle Joey from Full House hair is well on its way*. So proud.  (>^-^)> 

*It really was one of his goals this year. After his Uncle Jesse phase.......

Ahhh, to be a kid. Where Full House re-runs are all new and full of wonder. :)