Fall Is for Lovers, And Hypochondriacs

Hell yeah! Welcome fall!

Ok, ALMOST fall. Not quite, but Soon! I know that I might be a month early, but I'm revving up and getting ready to  to celebrate  ONLY THE GREATEST SEASON IN THE WORLD EVER!

You might remember from this old post,  that I feel fall is the best!  I don't think that my love for the season has waned one bit - to the contrary! This year, I'm even more of a lunatic for anything pumpkin scented.  I'm out of my gourd for gourds!

And what bad can come of THAT!?  Except for mayyyyybe the super-secret pumpkin patch that I'm hiding behind the bushes in front of the house. The pumpkin patch that Jon doesn't know about, that miiiiight be taking down our front porch.  But hey! Who cares when you have PUMPKINS!!!!!!!! Hundreds of tiny JACK-O-LANTERNS babies, waiting to be birthed into a world that is known as "Autumn". 

The reason that I am bringing all of this fall stuff up now is because tomorrow is August first! 

Makes sense, right? No, really, it makes complete sense. Tomorrow marks one month to get everything ready for fall.  In MY world, autumn is precisely September - October - November.   What silly, ancient day loon decided that seasons should begin on random days, like the 21st and the 22nd? We don't need to kowtow to the solstices and the equinoxes you know! They're not big babies who will cry... ......whaaa....whaaa....whaa.... if we don't make the start of a season on THEIR special day. And because I am gifted, I myself can start celebrating fall on September first, and then ALSO the Autumnal Equinox on the 22nd. It's NOT that hard people!

So remember:  Fall - September, October, November. Winter is - December, January, February. Spring - March, April, May, and Summer is - June, July and August. 

Let's make this nice and tidy from now on, ok!  Let's organize these seasons girl!  Let's clear out that corner in the kitchen that's always covered in old mail.  Let's re-arrange the spice drawer in alphabetical order! Let's count how many spoons you have. Let's deep clean the vacuum. Let's find the middle letter in "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"! Let's clear our throats and then touch the doorknob three times while licking the cat.

Well, not that last one, but let's start fall SEPTEMBER 1st! 

There is so much to do, such little time to do it.  Last year, autumn zoomed up on me, and I was ill prepared. This year though, I'm starting early. There are decorations to plan and buy and make. Like leave garlands and cornstalks! There's poorly fitting, slightly scratchy crocheted garments to complete for the whole family. I need recipes for apple sauce and apple pies and pumpkin pies and pumpkin apple pies! I need fall color outings planned and Halloween costumes brainstormed. Oh my gosh, and I need Halloween candy, lots of Halloween candy. And cider and donuts and back to school clothes for Noah, and shoes and pencils. There's precious plaid and corduroy outfits to find, and above all, I need to shop for pumpkin scented candles!

AAAAAHAHHHAHHHHHHHHHAHHAHHHHHHHgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Maybe what I really need is some time off. This is a lot of pressure!  No. I shall forge ahead, because Fall is the ultimate season!

The plan is to make a fall bucket list for this year. I hate that term. To make a fall fun list for this year. It will include all of the fall activities that I would love to do, but am usually just too lazy to actually do. SO, this time around, I will have a reminder list to get out there!  Like having Jon haul us way out into the countryside to pick apples in some idyllic orchard. Or not to buy our pumpkins from the local over-priced supermarket, but to go out to a pumpkin patch! (Unless of course......MY secret pumpkin patch is fruitful! Hahahaha). Pun intended!

I would like to post this fall fun list at a later date, but in the meantime, I will now share this tangent with you on hypochondria, aka, health anxiety, aka, hypochondriasis, and if your IQ is as elevated as mine, also known as  being a "valetudinarian". 

My therapist says that I'm not really a hypochondriac, at least not in the classical sense, because I don't think that I have horrible illnesses, I just worry that I might have or might come down with them.

 I also don't run to doctors for reassurance and tests very often. The 2004 panic-stricken dash to a cardiologist for an echocardiogram for almost no reason at all put a stop to that. Until the panic-stricken dash to a cardiologist for an echocardiogram for almost no reason at all of  2011 happened. See, no problem here! But seriously, I actually rarely run in, if ever. Except for  last winter's food tonsil incident.  But hardly ever.

I've just learned to roll with the punches. I'm trying to be optimistic! Hope for the best!

For example, just the other day, when I felt something ever so slightly puffy near the roof of my mouth, I went to look in the mirror and saw a small, white area. I decided to promptly flip out and became acutely aware that I could be suffering from.............. leukoplakia!

I am happy to report that I have reasonably convinced myself that everything is ok.

Being that I am not a smoker, drinker, chewer of tobacco, nor a 65 year-old man, it's probably nothing. AND the fact that I vaguely remember burning my mouth on a matzo ball over the weekend.

But then this.....happened today.  I called Jon at work and I said: "Jon" (I actually said the following for real, ok).  I said: "Jon, my tongue was just walking around my mouth and I felt a tiny bump on the inside of my lower lip."

Did you know that tongues "walk around your mouths?" I didn't either,  not until today at least. 

In retrospect, I have a feeling, that what I felt was just a normal, little salivary duct that has always been there, but now I think I must have made matters worse, by poking at it with my tongue all day. 

Point is, looking on the bright side! 

It's just salivary gland. It's just a salivary gland.  Fall leaves, fall leaves! Pumpkins! Pumpkins! Acorns, aaaaaaaaaaacorns!!!!!!!!!

By the way, it's "A-corns" , NOT "EGG- corns".

xoxoxoxo,

Lauren

Fizzy Melting Treasure Chests & Summer Viruses

This is a little silly and ironic, but truthfully, the only reason that I was able to write the blog post last Friday, the one about simplicity and slowing down, was because Jon begged me to take the day and actually slow down!

Poor Noah came down with one of those no-fun, summer viruses. Sore throat, fever, sneezing, runny nose and a terrible cough. :(
It even ended with a blotchy rash! We went to see his pediatrician, and she told me that many summer viruses end in a brief rash. Who knew!

He was home from day camp for five days. I tried to keep him comfortable and not bored out of his mind.  The time included a lot of liquids, episodes of Calliou, legos, markers, and me attempting to get everything done, and giving Noah as much of my attention that he needed. It was a lot and by the week's end, just as he felt all better, I was beginning to feel exhausted and.... sniffly.

That's when Jon begged me to just stay in bed and rest on Noah's first day back at camp. A bid to ward off the virus that I was coming down with. (And now am currently coughing my way through.)

The point is, even though I strive for a "slow living" kind of life, I sometimes need external reality checks to just stop when it's truly important.  Last Friday, I needed a day where I wasn't running around or worrying about laundry or making dinner, and it was WONDERFUL. I stayed in bed most of the day writing, until I picked up Noah around 3:00. It was so fantastic. And, most of all, it reconfirmed how much I really really REALLY want to restructure my days to allow for regular writing time. 

Last week I talked about Simplifying our environment, next time around, it would be great to talk about simplifying our schedules! What can we cut out or cut back on, to make time for soul enriching things?

In the meantime, I'd love to share this fun, little activity that's easy to make and perfect for some relaxing time outside with your children. 

Buh....buh...buh....baaaaahhhhhh.........EXPLODING TREASURE CHESTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why I did not get a better picture of the treasure chests exploding  fizzing and melting, I do not know. We have round two of this activity waiting in the freezer as I type, so I'll be sure to get better pictures next time.

All of this fun is owed to Mary Catherine at the website Fun-a-Day. I saw her post about Exploding Treasure Chests on Pinterest and just had to try it! What a neat idea!

Here's the concept, instead of freezing water in your ice cube trays, why not try a mixture of water, food coloring and baking soda with "treasures" set inside. Then, give your child a squirt bottle full of vinegar and hunt for pirate's booty!

This activity was both fun to make, and fun to play with. I hope you'll enjoy it as much as we did! Here's how you can.........

I made the treasure chests while Noah was at camp. I wanted to surprise him with  a nice  play alternative to screen time.
First I read through the exploding Treasure Chest post on Fun- a- Day. I decided how I wanted to make my mine, and gather all of the needed ingredients.

I began by taking one of our ice cube trays and removing any ice. You can store your ice cubes in a ziploc bag and they won't go to waste!  After that. I started looking for "treasures". This was my favorite part. You can get really creative!

For Noah's treasures I used things like quarters (be sure to wash them quite well if you want to reuse your ice cube trays), marbles, glass "gems", like the ones that you put in the bottom of floral arrangements. I also found other surprises - a tiny toy lock and key set, some miniature dice, a figurine, a gold colored broach in the shape of a feather, and fun rings with giant jewels. Now that sounds like some loot! Just have fun, look around your house, no need to go out and buy.

In addition to the treasures I grabbed baking soda, water, and food coloring. You will also need some kind of tub or bucket to melt your treasure chests in , and any kind of bottle for vinegar, which I will talk about in a moment.

So, treasure chest are often brown, right? Well, here's where I made my biggest mistake, I should have stuck to Mary Catherine's instructions and made the chests BLUE. You'll see why in a minute. Here's how I made brown though, by mixing red, yellow, green and blue food coloring into some baking soda and water. it was fun.........

Ta dah! Treasure chest goop! The original post calls for 3 parts baking soda to one part water.  Mary Catherine also used Jell-O powder to color her chests, which I think is so cool! I will definitely try her version next time. You'll want your mixture to be the consistency of paste.

Now comes lots of fun. I used half or so of the mixture and filled the ice cub tray 1/3 -1/2 full.  Leave room for treasures and more mixture later! After filling the bottom of each "cubicle", I popped the tray into the freezer for about a 1/2 hour. When your first layer sets, it's time to add the booty! You can tuck a surprise into each cube, or several surprises. It's your choice. I arranged mine like this......

After your treasure is ready, pour one final layer of your mixture on top. Be sure to cover everything, and try to fill the each reservoir to the top . Put the tray back into the freezer. I left ours in for several hours.

Next you'll want to prepare some kind of tub or bucket or even an old bowl to play with the treasure chests in.  You're have to not mind putting vinegar and food coloring or Jell-O powder in whatever you choose. I used one of our Ikea TROFAST Storage bins. They're just $3. THREE DOLLARS! And work perfectly.

You'll also need any kind of spray bottle or squirt bottle or eye dropper to hold vinegar in. For younger children, you can go ahead and pour the vinegar in for them, but if your child would like to do this himself or herself, find something you feel confident letting them use.

FINALLY, a use for that old pumpkin bottle from the cider mill, that he hasn't let me throw out! :)

And here's where the fun begins! When Noah came home from camp, one of his friends came to play. I  gave each of them a plastic spoon to "excavate" with, and we headed outside. (This activity could be done inside, but I strongly recommend that you play outside if possible. Then you can hose everything down when you're done!)

I popped a few "chests" out of the ice cube tray, put them in the bin, and gave the boys the vinegar. Before long, everything started to fizz!

And slowly........ treasures began to appear.  The boys used their spoons and more vinegar to make the treasure chests fizz and melt. It was perfect for that hot summer day.

This is why I shouldn't have made brown chests. It just makes for muddy water. I say, follow Fun-a-day's lead and go for refreshing blue treasure chests instead!

The boys collected their treasure and I washed them off.
And there you have it!

A simple but fun activity. I can't wait to play some more!

While you might be busy, running around and doing fun things to.....er....slow down and simplify your life, it's important to always remember to also take the time to rest when you really need it! Like Hector.

xoxoxo,
Lauren

Detroit Story

I don't claim to know a lot about Detroit.  How could I, really?

All I know is that what I lack in first-hand gritty experience, I make up for in a steady stream of  rumination and hope for Detroit.  Some surely inconsequential love, but love none-the-less.

It's like this. I'm not going to posture, I'm going to be forth right and honest. I don't live in Detroit. I never have. I live in a northern suburb. And although I'm only seven miles away, the homogeneous, upper-middle class city that I live in might as well be another solar system. 

But most people who live here in the suburbs, all 3.7 million of us, most of us have a Detroit story. Not just an anecdote here or there, but a Detroit tale, that spans beyond our lifetimes, and farther out from the quiet hollows that we dwell in now.

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My Mother grew up in Detroit and speaks fondly of it. As a little girl, she took the bus alone. Went down Woodward Avenue to attend children's art classes at the DIA. They went to see the holiday displays in the windows at Hudson's department store where men wearing white gloves operated the elevators.

 I've seen the old movies of Detroit, the sidewalks were full, the people looked formal and fancy. Everything sparkled and prospered and grew. In 1930, Detroit was the fastest growing city in the WORLD.
 THE WORLD! Did you know that? Now, it's the fastest shrinking city in the US. 

In 1950, Detroit had a population of 1.8 million, and was the 4th largest city in the United States. Today, there are only 700,000 people,  if that, and barely makes the top 20 in size.  How can such a vibrant, alive city lose nearly half it's population? Think about it....New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, losing HALF it's population!

These days, at least from the outside, Detroit is a desolate, dangerous, tumble weed kind of place. Romantically as they say: "reverting back to prairie", which in some places.....it is.....

I think that a lot of people feel the same way that I do about Detroit's decline. Sad, confused, frustrated, uncertain about what a true solution would be. And so many of us just don't talk about it, because what more is there to say? But then there are others who are pushing and pulling and using their lives to work towards change. I'd like to be the later. Somehow.

This could easily turn into an essay about facts and statistics on Detrroit. About the juxtaposition of desolation and hipster revival, about architectural ruins, and hidden historical gems. This could be a post on horrible crime, and neighbors that join hands and fight together. Poverty and the wealth of the automotive industry. Young, old, black, white.

Instead I'd just like to write about my Detroit story, and about something that has helped to grow my love for this city -  Detroit techno. As we come up on the DEMF,  (The Detroit Electronic Music Festival. Which, is actually now called "Movement", but I refuse to call it that.), my mind goes to a time when I was younger and everything was new.

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Did you know that DETROIT IS THE BIRTHPLACE OF TECHNO !!!!!!

From Wkipedia: Techno is a form of electronic dance music^[2] that emerged in Detroit, Michigan in the United States during the mid-to-late 1980s. The first recorded use of the word techno in reference to a specific genre of music was in 1988.^[3][4] Many styles of techno now exist, butDetroit techno is seen as the foundation upon which a number of subgenres have been built.^[5]

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Detroit. 1985

The first thing I can remember is hitting the deck, cowering on the floor of my Grandfather's Lincoln. I made myself into the smallest ball of kid that is humanly possible. "See that man over there?" my Grandfather said, pointing to a figure on the corner in a black floor length trench coat. "He's a drug dealer. He probably has a machine gun under that trench coat. Don't you ever, ever, EVER do drugs."

We were coming home from the Detroit Science Center. My Grandfather was just trying to help keep my six-year-old brother and I on the straight and narrow. Grandpa was a Detroit city cop. He had no fear. He knew his stuff.

As a kid, we didn't go into the city too often. I can't remember a lot, but I remember some. Running in Heart Plaza near the river, a Tiger's game on a beautiful summer afternoon. Some trips to the Art Institute, the Science Museum, and my favorite, the Children's Historical Museum. All wonderful, positive experiences, but always with an edge of fear. I held my breath in transit. I remember that part. Always sure of certain doom, should the car breakdown.

Sad when you think about it. But luckily, Detroit was just awakening then with a bump and a thump and rhythm of it's own, that one day, was going to carry me back in.........

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Metro Detroit, 1994

Techno. Techno? "Yes, techno music" Alan said. "You've got to hear this album. It's by Plastikman."

In a teenage display of mock authority and individualism, he had just painted his bedroom walls pomegranate red, bought black satin sheets, and hung posters of aliens. We wore baggy "skater jeans", spent hours sitting on railroad tracks talking about life, and drank an almost daily Slurpee. Life was good.

He played Plastikman's Sheet One for me over speakers much to large and much too loud for his little room.  In one of those life-changing, quintessential moments of wide-eyed youth,  it sounded both unintelligible and amazing to my inexperienced mind. Techno.

The music was catchy, and before long, like Alan, I had the CD too. A great relief from the constant play of a four CD box set of Led Zepplin, bought the previous year with a summer's worth of babysitting money.

Sheet One was a perfect audio match for the overly-dramatic, existential angst of a teenage life.

But soon, as with all things, change came in the form of a first boyfriend, and his propensity for emo, punk, indie and "straight-edge." (He was also the drummer in a band, that played in a teen club called "The Black Cat." Really, I wouldn't make something that stupid up.) And most of all, you know, he had a Jeep.

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East Lansing, 1996

The thing that I remember most about the night, was that it had just started snowing. It was the week before finals, and my boyfriend had dumped me. The drummer. Two years it lasted, but the end was abrupt and disorienting.

I had promised a friend a ride somewhere, to a class they make you take when you've receive too many points on your license and are in danger of having to hoof it.  I remember that drive to some municipal building in Lansing, sobbing all the way there, and all the way back.

For the first few days I cried and cried. My friends were amazing. I don't know what I would have ever done without them. They came to see me often, just to listen or to try and make me laugh again.

One of those friends was Roger. He appeared at my dorm room door one day with something for me in his hand, something to pay attention to- other than my heartbreak. The gift was much more than the CD in his hands. It was the return of techno into my life, and the beginning of a  Detroit adventure.

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East Lansing,  1996/1997

It was a Speedy-J album that Roger gave me.  My first new techno since the quintessential Plastikman of 94'. It was this album, Speedy-J's lyric-less music that I listened to each and every night as I tried to fall asleep. The reverberating noise, pushing my sad, post-break up feelings and ECON 201 fears to the back of my brain. Speedy-J got me through.

And that's why, when  Regor invited me to go see Kevin Saunderson, a Detroit techno legend, spin at a local co-op , I said: "yes" without missing a beat. (Pun intended.)

We piled into my car and drove across campus. Which in retrospect, was probably an equally as long walk to the student parking lot to retrieve my car, as it would have been to just walk over to the co-op know as "NASA House."

Oddly, none of us seemed to wonder why or HOW a random, semi-delapadated student co-op at Michigan State University, could ever attract the famous Kevin Saunderson. Which also in retrospect, is really strange. The whole things was strange.

I vaguely remember wearing an Alien Workshop tee-shirt, (because I was such a  skater poser) emblazoned with a dramatic anime scene depicting a ninja moon princess poised for battle. Or, given the time, it could have also been my "Girls Kick Ass" baby tee.

Roger was driving my car, because I had, and still do have an "issue" with curbs, and would convince anyone else into carting me around when given the chance. I can't clearly remember who went along with us, but I'm pretty sure it included a roommate, a hall mate, and two of my best friends from the boys' side of the dorm.

There was a lot of loud music and people in tracksuits. I remember one of my friends enthusiastically dancing around a speaker that was nearly as big as he was. The party was in the basement of the old  co-op.  It was dark and crowded, and if Lauren of 2013 was in there, she'd be suspiciously eyeing every heating pipe for asbestos. And sensing certain air quality doom, instead of dancing.....

After several hours it felt like it was getting late. On the college student continuum of not wild party animal to wild party animal, I was sadly about a 1. A totally not wild party animal.  As I am now, I've always kind of been one of those, "early to bed, early to rise" people. Which is all kind of surprising because although I wasn't a party animal, I also wasn't very "studious." I never studied. Ever. Too much distraction on a University campus. What do you expect!?
So what DID I do with all of that spare time? Well, I taught myself how to speak and write semi-fluently in Japanese. I rescued an opossum. And I went to the cider mill a lot.....

Roger and I and a roommate or two, left the party and headed towards home. But not before Roger said: "Hold on, I have to stop at 7-11, I need orange juice for tomorrow morning." Now put some thought into that for a moment. What college student leaves a party at a reasonable hour, only to stop at the convienence store for orange juice, NOT BEER, just so he can be sure that his little dorm room fridge doesn't run out. That's unheard of! I loved it then, and I still love it now. A person who isn't worried about following the flock or looking "cool" in other people's eyes. A person who has enough self-confidence to walk into a 7-11 on a busy corner in a college town, at 1:00am on a Saturday night, to purchase a bottle of Tropicana.

That semester was a time of good music and good friends. A Tribe Called Quest came out with Beats, Rhymes and Life,  and I seem to remember a lot of Digable Planet's Blowout Comb  being on continuous rotation over on the boy's side. Nothing could compete though, with the influx of specifically electronic music into my life that year. Ken Iishi's Jelly Tones made me love Japan, which lead me to Cornelius' Fantasma.  The Aphex Twins both freaked me out and cracked me up with the song Milkman. What was that all about? And Roger brought Jeff Mills to the table.

But it wasn't until things got live, that I made the connection with Detroit.......................

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Windsor, Early 1998

We traveled through the dimly lit tunnel. The one that makes my skin crawl with claustrophobia , the one that smells so strongly of exhaust and always has at least half a traffic jam. You pop out the other side in new country. A kinder, cleaner, more polite version of us. CANADA.

In a rare display of stepping outside of my box, I bravely let Roger talk me into going with him to a bar in Windsor called "The Hook."  It was to see Matthew Hawtin, who is Plastikman's brother, spin. Not wanting to look like a bore and certainly not wanting to lead on to any of my Detroit fears, I quickly said "sure" through gritted teeth and worry. But as you might expect, we found safe passage that night, down interstate 75, through Detroit, through the freaky tunnel and on into Canada.

In an old building, upstairs, Roger and I watched Matthew Hawtin play records and mix music. Also, it was Canada, and being Canada, you can drink at NINETEEN! I was petrified to partake in my first drink from a bar. I had absolutely zero idea of what to order and amateurishly left it up to the bar tender, who, sensing my complete lack of understanding, awareness and experience, quickly shoved a weak girly cocktail in my hand and called it a night. A slow gin fizz.

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Detroit, Christmas 1998

For unto us a Roger is born!  A real Jesus baby, but not really Jesus. Roger was placed into a stocking at his birth on the 25th of December. And still to this day, he claims that he does not feel cheated in any way, to have his special day celebrated, at precisely the time when everyone else is focused on Christmas. That says a lot about a person I think.

One Christmas night for many years, a large "rave party" was always held called "Home". A party that ran from about midnight through dawn. I had followed Roger to a few true Detroit rave parties that year, and shows at the cramped but famous Alvin's on Cass.

I secretly lamented the fact that they began way WAY past my bed time. I did not want to lead on to my innate un-coolness. I had to be young! I had to be adventurous! I had to be fearless! And although the flashing lights were annoying, and the kids with pacifiers and lollipops ridiculous, and some of the music went on FOREVER, at least it was giving me a special Detroit experience. Me and my crew, we were as sober as sober gets, and that's why I can remember these parties to begin.

The doorbell rang on Christmas night, as our family party began to wind down. It was Alan and Madge.(Not her real name, but her preferred name after purchasing a used waitress's dress at Value Village that year).  Alan and Madge, if I am remembering perfectly correctly, both had buzzed hair, Madge's dyed purple. Alan with some gnarly looking face piercing. My Grandma, who opened the door, looked like she was going to faint.

It was snowing quite hard when the Jesus baby arrived. At least his uber -normal - suburban looking black NorthFace jacket quelled some of my Grandmother's fears. If only she knew it was he who started this whole techno fuel Christmas outing.

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Detroit, 2013

And then life takes hold again. You graduate college, your become more than just the books that you study and the music that's playing. You attempt to launch. Move across the country. Fall in love, get married, buy a house, have a kid.

Lucky for that kid, you found a love for Detroit, long before he was born, and you hope to help him find that Detroit love too.

Memorial Day weekend 2013 was just perfect, lovely weather. Sunny and warm. Like for many years before, Roger and I went down for the final day of the Detroit Electronic Music Festival -where it promptly began to pour. Thunderstorm aside, that was fine, because  1.) I got in for free because Roger being a young, euntrpenural Detroitsmen  (He bought and restored a skyscraper with twelve other people, and is on to his second and third) scored VIP wristbands.    And 2.) I was there, hearing great techno and it was G-d Damn TWO FLIPPIN' O'CLOCK in the AFTERNOON! NOT THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!  A techno miracle!  But also, 3.) it was almost TWENTY-YEARS after the first techno adventure that I had gone on with Roger. I  stood there in Heart Plaza and just watched, full of nostalgia and amaze. How could seventeen years fly by like that?

The afternoon was nice. We hid in the space underneath the plaza from the rain. Everybody was smoking, which was disgusting. I wasn't wearing any neon, I can't break dance. I felt old.

I would have worn fairy wings, had I owned them. Maybe.

Sometimes the skyline, what there is, distracted me from the music. 

As did the dancing man dressed up as Tanuki Mario. 

We took a long walk at one point when the rain stopped, and appreciated the architecture.

And later, when the rain was so heavy and cold, that even the VIP tent was soaked, we called it a day.

Which is all so fine and swell because I came home to these two........... and we'll have more Detroit stories to come.

THE END.

SLOW DOWN! The Four Most Awesome and Satisfying Steps to Slowing Down and Simplifying Your Way too Hectic Life

Some women read romance novels, and follow them up with a dish from  Fifty Shades of Chicken. Some flip through the pages of their favorite catalogues, drooling over the summer weight cashmere. But for me, my fantasy is nothing more than  having a slow and simple summer. 

(Or maaaaaaybe a box of those chocolates with the cherries in the center, that come out at Christmas.)

This video perfectly illustrates how I imagine my perfect summer. Only with no riding in the street, just the sidewalks, and  less lead paint. 

But we all know, not everyone can pull off a wretchedly precious, Kinfolk-style summer. So let's get back to reality.....

Listen, 

The first step to slowing down, is recognizing that you're going too fast!

 For years now, I've been trying to find a  balance between all of the important compartments of my life, and the time and attention that each one needs. 

First and foremost, being a Mother, truly a full-time job when you get down to it. 

Also, caring for our home with the cooking, cleaning, laundering, errand running and an ever changing list of home related "to dos".  Caring for the pets, nurturing friendships, and trying to be a good wife and partner too. Then there is volunteer work at Noah's school, which I love dearly, but became so wrapped up in, at one point, in 2010/2011, I found myself having little time to get things accomplished at home, I felt quite stressed.

So I set out to makes some changes, and I am finally finally in a great position to do so! If you are interested in slowing your life down a bit too, even just a little, I'd love to share this adventure with you!

I'll be posting in the hopefully near future, a series of writings on simplicity at home, tips and suggestions on how to get real-life change going. But here's where you can start to begin......

Step one:  Recognize that your life is too hectic at the moment.

It might seem strange that my first step asks you to recognize that your day-to-day is too busy. I mean, of course you know that! You live it! Sometimes though, when you're rushing around and each moment is filled to the brim with activity, you don't have the moments to really stop and connect with what is truly going on. Your stream of conscious thoughts might say: "I feel so rushed", or "Wow, this is a lot to fit into one week", but you don't dip below the surface to fully grasp how this overloaded life style is affecting your happiness, your health and your spirit.

Mini - Slow Down Suggestion #1 - Connect with Nature! Did you know, that simply by stepping outside, smelling the fresh air, gazing at some gorgeous trees or vibrant flowers, that you can actually LOWER YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE among other calming benefits? Taking yourself out of your frenzied day for just a minute or two can work wonders and affirm that our lives are more than just the latest deadline or the ever piling laundry. We're all part of something bigger, the world is around us, and it's beautiful!

      

     

Step Two: Acknowledge how a chaotic lifestyle makes you really feel inside. 

Is there a quality of balance and tranquility in your busy life? Most likely not. Are stress and exhaustion, or a vague sense of dissatisfaction present in your days? Is something just feeling "off"?  Do you sense that over time, you've drifted farther from your vision of a fulfilling life ?

 It is not easy jumping off the busy roller coaster. For one thing, it might feel like failure! If you can't continue to hold down a job, keep a clean and beautiful home, lead your daughter's Girl Scout group and find time to volunteer in your local community anymore...... then what's wrong with you? Just because you were able to juggles all of these things in the past, doesn't mean that you fail when you set down some of your balls. It actually means that you got SMART! That you are finally ready to take care of YOU too! Connecting with how your frenetic lifestyle effects you, and choosing to slow down a bit is a small WIN in the story of you, not a defeat. :)

Mini - Slow Down Suggestion #2 - Make it a priority to find time for something that makes you truly happy. Don't worry so much about "should thinking".  I SHOULD be doing the dishes, I SHOULD be out with my friends, I SHOULD find a more productive use of my time.

I know that making way for free time can be daunting, especially on the busiest of days, but 

you might be surprised! Sometimes the smallest, shortest and most simple activity, can turn out to be the biggest reward.

One day I spent ten minutes arranging flowers. It was relaxing, a way to be creative, AND we had a week of enjoyment as the flowers sat on our table.

Noah and I stopped for a few minutes to make cinnamon rolls together. It didn't take long at all, and now we have a nice memory. It was worth finding the small amount of time!

Even on a Saturday night, sometimes the quietest  things can be the most fun. For example: bird watching in the backyard! Woo Hoo! *Blush*

Step Three: Take stock of what's important to maintain in your daily life and what you can cut out. BE HONEST with yourself!

At first glance, you might never imagine being able to give up your volunteer work, a highly organized and clean home, or asking your child to only be involved in time consuming competitive sports every other season. There are endless things that we could give up, or cut back on, but most of them feel, at least at first, like a non-negotiable. You really need to delve deep to take stock. You need to be honest with yourself. 

Take for example, something close to my heart, volunteer work. For the past five years, I've been involved to some degree, in multiple volunteer positions at Noah's school. It is important for me to give back, and at times, I've really enjoyed it!  For four years, I held a position on the PTA's executive board as "The Vice President to Lower School New Families".  A much too fancy title, but that's just what I did.   Greeting, communicating with and assisting all of the new families that came to our school over the past four years. I've also been a room parent, the facilitator of a school-wide parenting group, volunteered for various events, helped organize and curate a small library collection, and, my biggest job, chaired a very very large fundraising event in 2011.

Volunteer work was a huge part of my life, and personally important to me!  BUT..... over time, as I began to become more and more busy, rarely feeling able to say "no" to each new opportunity, my happiness and satisfaction levels went down, and my stress level went up!

If you were to ask me two years ago, would I ever give up volunteer work, I'd laugh and say: "Never"! Now though, I've come to realize that while volunteering is something special to me, what is more healthy and rewarding on a whole, is finding enough balanced time to get my most important goals completed first. I wasn't able to feel truly happy, let alone relaxed, unless I was able to check off my important boxes, like being available and present for my child, keeping a cozy, happy little home, and finding a bit of time to also honor my need for some creative "me" time. Writing, creating things for our home, crocheting and walking to name just a few.

It's important to understand that cutting back on commitments and activities can be very difficult and bring about feelings of guilt and failure. But, if you don't put enough consideration into creating a balanced life for yourself, if you put everybody else's needs in front of yours, you will end up exhausted, frazzled, and unhappy.

In the end, I finished out my four-year term as the VP to lower school new families, and declined the offer of another position on the executive board. Will I never volunteer again? Of course I will! I'm sure you can find me working the cooking decorating station at our next Harvest Party, or the Valentine's Dance. I've even entertained fantasies of being a room parent next year. The take-away point being, for me, for now, I've come to realize that I needed to cut out the time consuming, on-going volunteer commitments, to better balance and slow down my days. 

 Take care of yourself and you'll be better able to help enrich the lives of others. You matter too! 

Mini - Slow Down Suggestion #3 - Try something new! Rethink your usual habits . One day we realized that even though we worked so hard to move into our downtown, we never stopped and slowed enough to take advantage of what it had to offer! In such a silly way, we would pass up local eateries at lunchtime, instead making something at home, or driving somewhere that was just part of our previous "routine".  There is a local pub, with a seasonal outdoor deck, just one block from our home. WHY have we never gone there!? Countless times, while passing in the car, or hurrying on my way, we caught a glimpse of happy people sitting on the deck, sipping cool drinks and enjoying lunch. 

A couple weeks ago, we chose to try something new, and went to lunch at the pub. Not only was it fun and relaxing and delicious, it was incredibly nice to just do something new!

Even Noah had a great time, eating fish and chips, and exploring the inside of the pub with it's old Irish instruments and artifacts. Do something new!

Just go take a walk. I know it's Monday night, I know the lawn needs mowing. Just take ten minutes to walk around the block. You'll all be happier for it, and who knows, you might even make a new friend.

You've been watching the same shows for a while now. How about re-visiting a golden oldie or a program that you've never seen before? You might surprise yourself! Here Noah CRACKS UP at a Calliou episode.  (An old favorite that he hasn't seen since age four!). And if you're a parent, you will understand Jon's expression......

Trying making a pizza on the grill instead of ordering out. Fun!

And if you're anything like me.....er.......stare out the window at squirrels and take their picture. SHAZAM! A new relaxing hobby!

Step Four: Time to make a plan! What changes will you implement and how?

Ok, this is the fun part. I will post more action-oriented simplification tips and stories in the future. To begin with for now though, start brainstorming and learning about steps that you can take to simplify each little area of your life. Check out the resources on slow living and simplification websites like my favorite - Rhythm of the Home and SlowLiving Family. There are many blogs out there about people who chose to simplify their lives and to slow down. I particularly enjoy author Amanda Soule's blog, SouleMama and her book The Rhythm of Family: Discovering a Sense of Wonder Through the Seasons.

Just to be clear, although my favorite resources center around family life and the daily activities of a parent, learning to slow down and simplify is important for anybody and anybody! Man, woman, parent or non-parent. This is a shared, universal need  for balance and tranquility.

I'd like to tell you about my starting point for simplifying, the book, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids.
It's been an INCREDIBLY helpful book, a wonderful and interesting read, and it has changed our lives! And once again, the the wisdom gleaned from these pages can be applied to adults and children alike. The bulk of the book speaks to parenting, but certainly in general, the suggestions for slowing down and simplifying your environment, schedule and mind can apply to just about anyone, anywhere.

Simplicity Parenting helped me to make an action plan. It addressed four areas of our lives that I could work to change. Our home environment, our daily rhythm, our schedules and, filtering out too much adult media and content, like the news and the onslaught of marketing directed at children.

I loved that Simplicity Parenting also went into discussing WHY simplifying can be so healing and restorative, and how we benefit from it in many ways.  In the future, I'd love to share more about the book, and some of the changes that have worked for us!

Here is just a mini example, of some of the simplicity and slow minded shifts that we have made in the past month. It's been FANTASTIC!!!!

Environment - While my house is naturally a pretty organized and tidy place, I learned that by simplifying and cutting back on the number of extra objects lying around, you really work to calm your surroundings and in turn, calm yourself! Everything is just a little less frenetic when you simplify. Also, for children with a mountain of books and toys, (that they most likely rarely play with) simplifying their choices and highlighting a few special options, really re-centers children's play! I'll show you some examples.

This is Noah's bed before. Not too bad, but if you look closely, there are about ten stuffed animals and three blankies. We spent every morning looking down the side of the bed and underneath for the little stuffed animals and blankets that rolled off during the night. Then it took more time to make his bed and arrange everything just right.

This is Noah's bed after simplifying things. One beloved stuffed animal and one special blanket. I know that it looks a bit stark, but you always have the ability to tweak things after simplifying your environment. You can add special items back in if you or your children really prefer.
Surprisingly though, Noah has been just fine with his new, more simple bed. He hasn't asked for the stuffed animals or blankies back (They neatly sitting within reach in his closet), and it takes just 30 seconds now to make his bed now. So easy! Win-Win!

The same thing goes for Noah's bookshelf. Before it was quite cluttered with extra nicknacks, and it's overly-busy. Not really a source of calm in a room meant for rest.

Small changes add up. I removed the bulk of his long ago forgotten collections. The books have been better organized, and I de-cluttered the whicker toy bins.

Taking away to add-in peacefulness in this corner....

Here's the best part about organizing a child's environment. By removing the old toys that Noah rarely used, that didn't promote imaginative, creative play, or toys that he out grew, I made way for new discoveries! First I carefully put most of his toys, neatly behind closed doors in his closet. Then I made "discovery baskets", containers that I change weekly, with a selection of toys that I've noticed Noah hasn't given any attention to in a long time, or ever! I filled each basket with a carefully curated selection of books, art supplies, toys and kits. It's like everything old is new again. It's been just amazing!

He started playing with this fantastic Snap Circuits kit that's been sitting unused for two years.......

And this old favorite that's gone un-noticed for so so long...........................................

Marble  maze!!!!

And Noah finally noticed the rock and gem excavation kit, that was gifted to him last fall. He loved this one so much, that instead of coming home from camp and asking to unwind in front of the television, he actually asked to go dig some more!!!!

I feel that the best part of simplifying one's environment, is the magic effect that it has on how we go forward in using our time. Instead of staring off into clutter, or so many options that there is total indecision, we go for what is presented, giving it a second chance, and often times realizing how great things are!

All of this play instead of video games, computer and TV, has given Noah a new appreciation for what we call "imagination play", which is just my blanket term for anything but screen time. He loves to ride his bike.............

And splash around in the mini-pool...............

Or simply just be content to practice a new skill. Noah is so proud. :)

And it's inspired all of us to join in the slowing down. We go outside more..........

And do more relaxing things as a family, like an afternoon at the pool once in a while, instead of just busy work.............

And we take this alien cat .............

.........for a walk...........

Because now we've made time for it!

If you too take the time to stop and smell the roses, or at least to stop and take a picture of a bee stopping to smell the Wisteria, then I can GUARANTEE your life will be enriched by this small step in slowing down!

Hope everybody is having a nice summer! Talk soon!

xoxoxoxoxo,

Lauren