The LOLO METHOD - How I Style and Tame My Gray Hair!

** This post contains links to our own brand and online store. I may be compensated if you purchase the products found at these links. For a full explanation, please see my complete disclosure HERE! Thank you!!!  **

Guys, we all know it- gray hair can be a little..........erm......UNRULY.  Those silver strands that you're growing out can come in with a WHOLE NEW TEXTURE.  They can have a mind of their own!

Think beautiful, sparkling new friends who you invite over for a quiet cup of tea and a civilized chat, but instead they decide to go crazy and have a WILD PARTY on the top of your head!

To make matters worse, the vast majority of us do not have naturally light blond hair, so those new party-animal friends? Yeah, their antics are EXTRA noticeable when highlighted against your darker, non-white hair.

Today I'm going to share with you, what tools, products and tips I use to get my hair looking as soft, shiny and frizz-free as I can. I call it "The Lolo Method!" ("Lolo" is my nickname and it's actually not really an official method, but something that I do everyday and it works well, so I'll teach you!)

Before I begin, remember: you can have all the right tools like styling products and brushes, but without knowing how to use those tools they're not going to work! Be patient and practice. Give it your best shot and you'll do great!



Step 1.  The Set-Up

Ok, here we go. Let's pretend that you're starting on a day with freshly washed hair, just out of the shower,  STILL DAMP.  

My suggestion is that you use the purple shampoo and conditioner from our....ehemmm....ONLINE STORE when you need a bit of brightening of your whites. Or our clarifying shampoo when your hair feels a little weighed down from styling product build up. If your hair is good to go, our super moisturizing daily shampoo and conditioner will nourish you hair and help make the texture soft and lovely.

No matter what you use, starting with damp, hydrated hair is the first step!


Step 2.   CAREFULLY De-Tangle and Condition

So now, this is the part where you want to get yourself something like your fingers, or better yet, a wide-tooth comb like THIS one. When our hair is wet, it is extra prone to breakage and damage so please be super gentle!!! I grab sections of my wet hair and hold it slack while I comb so that I am not pulling my hair out. Use your finger or wide-tooth comb to simply get ride of any big tangles.

Next, I take my Life Changing Leave-In Conditioner, give it a shake and pour a generous sized dollop into my hand. As you use this leave-in, you'll get a better idea of how much your particular hair needs. Feel it out, there's no right or wrong amount! The Life Changing Leave-In is one of my favorite things that we've made. It just makes such a difference! My hair always comes out feeling so much softer, manageable and shiny. It also protects and nourishes with moisture.

You can gently distribute the leave-in all around your hair using the palms of you hands. Then, I personally follow-up with the wide-tooth comb to help evenly apply it.
Next up is a little bit of our Silicone-Free Hair Serum. This is going to give you even more softness and lots of shine! A small amount goes a long way. I start with a dime sized portion in the palm of my hand, rub my hands together and evenly distribute it.


Step 3. Here's the Important Part! The Smooth and Smoosh!!!

I will now teach you my patented technique for less frizzy hair. ;)
Ok, listen carefully.... so, after experimenting and experimenting, I have FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING THAT WORKS! I've been using this technique and it works every time.

I carefully comb my hair and make it as straight/smooth as possible on top. Then I use a cream like our Silicone- Free Styling Cream, or a gel, something like THIS . I smooth a small amount with the palm of my hands, moving from the part in my hair downward. The trick is, is that you are SMOOTHING down the frizz on the top of your hair. You can smooth all the way to your ends, but this is mostly for the wild gray hairs at the top.

Now, again, carefully, I gather my hair into a sleek, low ponytail, smoothing my hair down as I go. If your hair is too short for a ponytail, don't worry about this step.
After it is in a ponytail, one that is not too tight, but just snug enough to help keep my hair taunt, I then apply one more layer of my cream to the top of my head, making sure to smooth everything down and then I STOP TOUCHING MY HAIR!


Step 4. Air Dry a Little or Blow Dry While Smooshing!

You're in the home stretch! Ok, so, if you have time to let your hair air dry a little, then this is always good. I often let my hair dry to partially damp when in the ponytail. While this is going on, I check to see if my frizz is still staying down, and if it's not, I simply put a TINY bit of the styling cream in my hair and I smooth the frizz down again. Then I stop touching my hair! This is part of the trick.

If you are pressed for time, or if you just want to use your dryer, that's fine too! The concept is the same - smoosh, use gentle tension to keep things smooth, don't mess with your hair too much. When I'm ready to dry, whether it be from the start or after air drying for a while, I turn my dryer onto medium or warm and I angle the air flow down while smoothing the hair on the top of my head with the palm of my hand.

It's all about having the air flow and your hand and the product smoothing the hair follicle down. Your hair will look flat on top initially, but once you get everything smoothed, later, you can go back and add volume.

Ok, so dry smooth down, dry smooth down.......


Step 5.  Bring in the Round Brush!

This is the part where I grab my big round brush. You can use any type or size of round brush that you please. Just find something that doesn't pull out your hair. I've found that boar bristle round brushes work well for me. You just need to experiment with your own hair type.

Proceded to dry your hair with the round brush while also smoothing with your hand. HERE is a good video tutorial on drying your hair with a round brush!

Finally, I feel like the following trick really really helps to smooth and calm my hair.  After I'm done drying, I gather my hair back up into a ponytail or twist it into a bun and let it just "set" for a few minutes. I like to let my hair cool down.


Step 6. Finally, the Last Step (Optional)

Ok, this final step is optional, but at least for me, it makes a big big difference. I've found that using heat styling to smooth my hair is a super tool. The thing is, we have to be careful not to use anything too hot, or we'll damage and yellow our white hair! Straightening irons and curling wands are awesome tools, but, even on low settings, we are risking all of that damage to our vulnerable hair.  What I do use is large hot rollers. I use THIS set and love them very much!

What I like about hot rollers is that they don't seem to be as scorching hot and damaging as straightening irons and curling wands. Also, with my set, if I watch them, I feel like I can unplug the rollers a bit early, hence making them warm but not too too hot. I think that the velvety flocked covering to my particular roller set, helps to not snag or burn my hair.

Using the largest diameter rollers that your hair can take, will smooth your hair AND give you great body and bounce! It's a wonderful finish! You can follow up with a tiny dab of serum if needed, but usually I don't, the shine is already there.

And there you have it! The Lolo Method! 

1.) Wash and Prep

2.) De-tangle and Condition

3.) Styling Products

4.) Smooth and Smoosh

5.) Dry with a Round Brush

6.) Curlers

I hope this was helpful in your quest to styling your hair. I know that you might have your own tips, suggestions and routines and I'm always more than happy to hear about yours too! Also, for our very curly girl sisters out there, what do you use and do to get your gorgeous curls looking great?

Until Next Time, Enjoy Your Hair Silver Sisters!!!
xoxoxoxoxo,
Lauren 

Truth In Marketing

** This post contains links to our own brand and online store. I may be compensated if you purchase the products found at these links. For a full explanation, please see my complete disclosure HERE! Thank you!!!  **

Hello sweet friends! This morning I was trying to take some photos of my hair for our  new online shop.  I wanted some nice pictures of what our products can do.

It seemed simple enough- I planned it all last night as I was falling asleep. I'd wake up, get ready, do my hair and make up extra nice. Take some pictures, runs the errands, then homeschool Noah, take him to his tutors, stop at my Mom's to borrow holiday props for new shop photos, write a blog post, answer the customer service questions, make dinner, pick Noah back up and try to find time to walk on the treadmill. Oh, and water the indoor plants, and get to the grocery store for Thanksgiving prep, and walk the dog,  and get my teen to write thank you notes for his birthday gifts.

All was going ok this morning, at least through the hair and make up. I went downstairs to attempt to take some reasonably usable photos of the front and back of my hair. When I got there though, I noticed that there were dishes in the sink that needed to be cleaned up, and the droopy plants that required my immediate watering attention. Then, as I was just about to start taking pictures, the dog started barking to go outside (AGAIN!) and I had to stand in the cold, repeating to her over and over: "DON'T YOU DARE DIG IN THAT MUD AGAIN JOSIE!"
Josie has had precisely 1,783 baths in the past two weeks, after squirrels dug up our small backyard patch of grass to hide their seeds. She figured out if you dig up the grass, not only can you find the seeds, but that it's fun and you can make HUGE mud piles with all of the dirt and melting snow. We're not thrilled with this new development.

Back inside and now running late, I was determined to get at least a few good photos. I held up my phone, tried to find the best lighting in our kitchen, and smiled. A doughy, old, tired me stared back on the screen. My chipmunk cheeks were in full bloom. The hollow, tired looking under-eyes, that I always hoped I would not inherit, were ever so slightly more pronounced than the blog photos of yesteryear. These past four years of homeschooling have been wonderful, but can sort of run you ragged. I used to spend my daytime getting things done, including exercising and primping and making healthy foodie foods and smiling for the blog! Now my time is split between parenting full-time, homeschooling, running a household and starting a business. This morning, getting those pictures was just so much harder than it was before and I was feeling it. I was acutely aware that I am a 40-something year old woman who is beginning to age and really began to question if I was enough. Enough of everything I needed to be to juggle all of these balls in the air.

I was near tears as picture after picture just looked "off." Especially when I went back and compared them to the blog photos that I took just four and five years ago. What has happened to me? I've lost my sparkle. I don't have what it takes to do all of this! I know very well that this is all relative, and that WE ARE OUR OWN WORST CRITICS, but I felt defeated.

Instead of beating myself up anymore though, I decided to stop taking pictures for now, maybe I could get better ones later and I really needed to get going on my errands. I hopped into my car, pulled out, and proceeded to almost bump into THE GIANT DUMP TRUCK BLOCKING 2/3 OF THE FOOT OF OUR DRIVEWAY.  I got two houses down, when I realized that our street was completely blocked by heavy machinery. I was NOT going on errands right now.

By the way, did I ever mention to you that they tore down (except for two walls) a big, old pretty church from the 1920's, directly across the street from our house? Now they're building a four-story office building there. Each morning we wake up to another hairline crack in our ceilings from all or the jackhammering. Which might explain........WHY I'M SLIGHTLY ON EDGE!!!!

I digress.....

As I was coming back inside, it dawned on me that this is what all of this gray hair thing is about - being the true you, and being ok with it! Whether we stop coloring our hair for health reasons, or to get away from the chemicals, to save on time or the cost of dying our hair, it all essentially comes back around to self- acceptance and embracing who we really are.

Even more so I realized, this is why we created the By The Way, Your Hair Looks Fabulous! line of products.  (I promise you, this blog post is not just an advert.) I wanted hair care that would represent a true reality, not a glossy, Instagram filtered version of a "perfect life.
I was frustrated that I couldn't find naturally derived shampoos, conditioners and styling products that I COULD ACTUALLY AFFORD! I was bummed that there wasn't a brand on the shelf that totally understood my crazy, gray fly-aways, the texture of my hair and just why my silvers needed help with shine.

We've toiled away for years now to create an authentic product to love. I've been spreading the message that the true you is great! But it hit me today, for some reason, I haven't been valuing my authentic self even closely as much as the products- Chipmunk cheeks, tired eyes, dropping the balls and all. I've forgotten to love myself too!

I might have had a momentary freakout this morning. A woe-is-me moment. It's ok though, that's also being human, being real. I know more than anything, that life is BIG and AMAZING and there's much too much to explore rather than to be stuck inside, pining away for perfection.

So here I am! The real life me. The not professionally perfect, polished backgrounds, but the best I can do in this moment. If there is one thing you could do for me Silver Sisters and friends, it's to stop today, take a deep breath and remind yourself.........

Love you guys!
Until next time.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo,

Lauren 

Guess What!? We're SHIPPING!!! \(^-^)/ !!!!

** This post contains links to our own brand and online store. I may be compensated if you purchase the products found at these links. For a full explanation, please see my complete disclosure HERE! Thank you!!!  **

Guess what!? We're SHIPPING!!!! \(^-^)/ !!!!!!!
I'm thrilled to let you know that pre-orders have gone out and and we're up and running and ready for more! Thank you so much for all of your support, patience and kindness. I can't wait for you to try our products. It's just a dream come true and I'd love nothing more than to help you sparkle and believe in yourself. With lots of love! xoxoxox, Lauren 😊

Super Exciting, Hair Product SECRET, and What I Use on My Skin!

Ohhhh Silver Sisters, I'm guessing that you might have heard it by now, that today I started making short Instagram Story videos. I've been posting all day long, and I just can't seem to stop. It's so much fun and a lot easier than sitting down to blog. This is all quite embarrassing and awkward honestly, and I feel about two decades too old to be making Instagram videos. I'm throwing my worries out though, it's time that I diversify my tech and find easier ways to share with you.  If you're interesting in seeing my short clips, be sure to subscribe to  How Bourgeois on Instagram!!!

At any rate, two quick things for this post- the first is a super exciting hair product secret that I just can't share in full yet, but hope to soon! The second note is about skin care. A very kind reader asked today if I could share what I use on my skin. I appreciate the interest and I'm flattered that she wanted to know, but I'm always so worried about my skin and would love any product suggestions from you too!

The same dear reader also asked if I could share the hair care products that I'm currently using, and I wish so much that I could! The only thing is...I can't. Not yet. I HOPE I can sometime soon....

I'm really sorry for the teaser, but I've been working on something for a long time, and testing out some fabulous products that are just for Silver Sisters! They're natural too. 💖 I promise, you'll be the first ones to know if and when I'm able to tell you more! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

The second bit is in response to the question: "What skin care products do you use?" It was very nice to be asked, but I'm not convinced that my routine is even close to a good one. I have wrinkles and crow's feet and the occasional blemish too. None of this is fun and I'm completely open to hearing about products that my readers love and use. Maybe they will help me!

For what it is worth, here are the simple products that I use and feel work well! 

First, I will say that my skin tends to be on the dry side. I'm 41 and struggle with the beginnings of fine lines and wrinkles and sun spots/ freckles in the summer. I had a basal cell skin cancer removed from my forehead a couple of years ago. 😥 It was from years of not wearing sunscreen as a teenager and in my 20's, especially when I would be at the beach on Lake Michigan. I really really really regret it. I'm incredibly thankful that my dermatologist caught the spot, and ever since I've worn mineral sunscreen diligently every single day. 

Soap-wise, I just use a very gentle Oat and Honey bar of soap from Trader Joes! It's affordable and non-irritating and it takes all of my makeup off easily. Next I moisturize both morning and night with

Burt's Bees Intense Hydration Day Lotion . I genuinely love this lotion. I was looking for something that was inexpensive, yet still natural and would work. It's very hydrating and has helped a lot with my dry skin, and the Clary Sage claims to help with fine lines. I think it has! When I am gifted an Origins Cosmetics giftcard, or able to splurge, I do swear by their Starting Over Age-Erasing Moisturizer.  Really, I saw a nice reduction in my wrinkles and would use this moisturizer always if it was more within my budget. Origins has a nice points program though, and as I purchase my concealer and pressed powder from them, I usually rack up enough points to receive something for free each year. Which, leads me to the next product, one that I chose as my freebie! It's the High-Potency Night-A-Mins Mineral Enriched Renewal Cream. I put this on at night as an extra wrinkle cream and an hydration booster. It seems though, that they're only now selling it as a skin refining oil online. It's worth a look!

Finally, sun protection. That's my big thing. You know, it's funny because I often forget to put it on my neck and chest and especially in my Insta Stories, the sun damage shows! I need to remember to get it everywhere.

It's a personal decision for myself, to do my best at avoiding chemicals that I can. So, I stick with mineral or mostly mineral sunscreens. I ABSOLUTELY adore and recommend COOLA Mineral Sunscreen .  It is specifically for the face and comes in a 30 SPF, unscented, matte form that is tinted and has just the faintest bit of coverage. It blends in with any skin tone and is like wearing a primer that kind of "photoshops" you. 😅 The matte finish is perfect for the hot summer, I can't say enough about my Coola. 💖

Finally, when I know that I am going to be outside for a while and want a higher SPF, I use
La Roche-Posay Anthelios 50 Tinted Mineral Sunscreen. It was recommended to me by a friend and I've heard that many many people like this light-weight mineral sunscreen. It feels a bit tacky going on, but it dries quickly and unlike most mineral sunscreens, it leave no white cast!

So there you have it! At least the part about my facial products. I'll be sure to keep you up to date as I find more winners.

Until next time!
xoxoxo,

Lauren 

** This post contains Amazon affiliate links. For a full explanation, please see my complete disclosure HERE! Thank you!!! **

Growth

Growth, it's one of those elusive things that just kind of sneaks up on you. Unless you're a teenage boy, growth doesn't happen overnight. In fact, you can grow so slowly, whether it's your maturity or your character or your  HAIR, that you don't even realize that anything changing! Well, that is, until one day you say: "HUH. Something is different..."

This is exactly what has been going on with my hair. Silver sisters, I think a lot of you might know the struggle- you're slogging through your gray hair grow-out and it just feels like it is taking FOREVER! Right? You've been there too?

Even after our hair is all one-ish color and we've got some length, at least to me, it still didn't feel like my hair was growing as quickly as I wanted it to. 

Last spring I walked into the salon and asked my sweet, wonderful, super-gray-hair-cheerleader of a stylist Lydia to just give me the chop! Luckily for me, every time I come in with a major over-haul idea, she patiently talks me through what I might or might not like, gives me alternative ways to achieve the look  that I'm going for and lets me decide from there. This is also known to me as : "A.K.A. Keeping me from cutting all my hair off when it's 85 and humid in Detroit, but seriously regretting the move 12 hours later."  (Thank you Lydia!!!)

So last spring, when I turned up with a bunch of short, short hairstyles, Lydia helped me to realize what I would like the most is a bit longer, angled bob. That cut is the photo above in the upper left hand side.  Fast forward to this spring, about a year later, and it hit me that my hair was actually starting to get longer. In fact, when I compared two photos, one from the day of my cut and one from this spring, I was amazed to see how much my hair had grown! It just kind of snuck up on me.

The reason that I'm telling you all of this is because I thought maybe, just maybe the multivitamin that I began taking last year, helped to speed up my hair growth.  I'm putting it out there that I am not a scientist or a doctor or a nutritionist, so I don't know for sure, but I do think that after taking the SmartyPants Women's Complete with fish oil and Biotin, that my hair began to get longer and stronger and my nails did as well.

I know there is a lot of controversy out there as to whether or not you actually need a multi, or if they are good for you. I know there is controversy over ingredients, dosages and even the fact that these are "gummies." You need to do what is right for you, and if you're up for trying them like I did, much luck to you! I happen to think they taste yummy and never miss a day.

At any rate, what I take is SmartyPantsWomen's Complete. You can find them on Amazon and at Target, really all over. As a Silver Sister, I find that when we share from our experiences, it helps to make this journey a little easier. 

Until Next time!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo,

Lauren :)

Patiently- Impatiently......

\('o') Ok, raise your hand if you've ever regretted trying to "give yourself a little "haircut," or figuring that "baby bangs" would be an awesome choice! ;) It's so much fun changing up our hair. Thankfully, cut or COLOR, it's all reversible eventually. LOL 

Seven Best Tips & Tricks for Successfully Growing Your Gray Hair Out!

Hi Silver Sisters, it's Lauren from September 2018!  I have the most amazing update for you - my husband Jon and I have launched our very own hair care line!  I have learned so much on my gray journey, and our new products incorporate all of my "tips and tricks" for making silver hair look terrific.  I am leaving all prior recommendations in place because I hope that they will continue to be helpful to people, and I will continue to use and enjoy many of the products that I have written about in the past. My opinions still stand on them. 

I hope that you will take a look at our new line By The Way, Your Hair Looks Fabulous!™  - it is a complete line of hair-care and styling products made especially for Silver Sisters AND for anyone who wants their hair care to be more natural and more affordable! 
 
xoxoxo,

Lauren

***(UPDATE! Hello all of my beautiful, wonderful silver sisters! If you've found your way to How Bourgeois from this particular post - first a very warm WELCOME!!!  I want you to know that we're all on this rollercoaster of a gray haired journey together! It's been four years since I wrote this Tips & Tricks post, so once you're done reading, if you would like see more silvery hair encouragement, support and updates on all sorts of gray-hair topics, please visit my "Gray Hair Posts" tab at the top of the page for much much more. Also, if you enjoy what you've read, please consider following  How Bourgeois, here or on my How Bourgeois Facebook Page where we share and discuss and cheer each other on. That would make me sooooo HAPPY! :)
I also have a Favorite Products page where I list and update all of my favorite products gray hair related products that I've tried out and truly loved. Let me take some of the guess work out of it for you.  Thank you everyone, I wouldn't be who I am without all of YOU! xoxoxoxooxo, Lauren ) *****

This is my hair recently. It has grown a bit longer and a bit more gray since I first wrote this post. I've learned so much on this five-and-a-half year adventure of growing out my gray and I'm so excited to share what has helped me along the way!      

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**  Hi friends. I just wanted to let you know that this post contains some Amazon affiliate links. That just means that some of these products are linked to Amazon. If you find a product that you like and decide to purchase it through my link, I receive a small percentage of Amazon's profit. I promise you that I always give my open and honest opinion, and only recommend products that I believe in. For a full explanation, please see my complete disclosure HERE!Thank you very much! **

Hiya  my silver sisters! ARE.YOU.READY!?..... ready to become a Gray Goddess!?

Do you want to be known as a silver Fox!?

Grrrrrrrowl!

  Or maybe even..... you want to be like me:  The Gray Goose! HONK!

(Wait, do geese quack?)

Are you tired of having to dye or henna your grays every few weeks? Do you have an allergic reaction each time that you color your hair? Perhaps you'd like to avoid the not-so-great chemicals in most of the dyes out there. (The wonderful natural hair coloring systems are not always strong enough to cover the hair of those of us who are mostly gray.) 

Has coloring you hair been expensive, messy and time consuming? Or, are you just simply curious to see what you'd look like in your "authentic" color!?

WHATEVER your reasons may be, deciding to go gray is a BIG decision, and an EMOTIONAL one at that!  Choosing to show the world your gray grow can be scary, frustrating and honestly, a bit of a downer at times.

BUT......I can PROMISE you, in the end, it will be 
SO worth it !!!!!!

Going gray is certainly not the right choice for everyone, and that's ok! 

If you do decide that it is something that makes sense for you, I'll be 

 here to help and support you, each step of the way!

(See. That's supportive gray hair love, shooting out of my head and into you!)

I've met THOUSANDS of the most lovely, wonderful, encouraging Silver Sisters over the years, and if there is one thing I know, it's that we're here for each other! Through all of the emotional struggles and the triumphant celebrations. So if it's something that you're ready to do, PLEASE JOIN US! 

Hooray! Hooray! Can you imagine not having to worry about whether your roots are showing? Or taking all of that time and money that you usually put into coloring, and using it on something new and truly enjoyable? If you take small, easy steps to care for and condition your hair, you just might find it to be even SOFTER and much HEALTHIER than before you stopped coloring! Really!

As difficult it is to face the world (and our society) with your gray, it can be rewarding in so many different ways too. Believe me, not only will you learn how to redefine your self-image, authenticity and what constitutes beauty, but you'll also learn about being comfortable in your own skin!

Who knows, you might even help pave the way for others. It's hard enough in our culture right now, for women to "make the grade" in the looks department. Even one person wearing showing their grays, helps to start a discussion towards the acceptance of all different ways to look and be in this world.

Are you ready? Let's go! Here are my SEVEN BEST TIPS AND TRICKS to help you make growing out your gray as easy as possible!

1.) Think About It This Way Instead - What if the gray was your best feature!?

There was a vintage advertisement floating around Pinterest last week, and I am so angry that I didn't stop to pin and save it. I believe it was from Miss Clairol. The ad showed a beautiful young woman, with perfectly coiffed gray hair! Oddly, back then, Clairol sold colorant that actually helped to highlight your gray. The slogan across the photos was something to the effect" "What If The Gray Was Your Best Feature"?

(Three cheers to several of my readers who have sent me this advertisement!)

Guess what? It just might be!

Really, no offense at all to your lovely smile or your beautiful eyes. It's just that, you might be as shocked as I was to find, that your silver hair grabs a lot of (positive) attention!  In fact, if your experience is anything like mine, you will fine yourself receiving infinitely more kind compliments and questions on your hair color than you ever have before. Of course, some of the attention can be good and some uncomfortable, (like stares) but the point is, re-think the negative connotation to gray. It can actually be one of the most interesting and pretty points about you!

While certainly not everyone finds gray hair on women to be a positive or particularly attractive, I will be open with you and say that I never received compliments on my hair before growing out the gray. Now, nearly a day does not a day goes by without a random person stopping to say: "I like your hair." Your new color can be your new, most individual and interesting exterior part of you!

It can be fun too. You get to play around with new colors of clothing, make-up and accessories to wear. Your white can be a conversation starter, or something that says: "I'm an individual!"  It's really all about what angle you look at it with. So, re-think the way you think about gray, and you've won half the battle!



2.) Find Your Gray Goddess Inspiration!

This is an old, old still from a film of my Grandma Esther. Isn't she glamorous in her white gloves? Grandma Esther is my Gray Goddess inspiration, and you should have one too.
We all need role models, teachers and mentors to learn on and look up to from time to time. People who have been there, done that, lived through the hard parts. People who inspire us!
Here's why- they give us the motivation to keep going and remind us that growing out our gray is possible.

I wish that my Grandma Esther was still here. I'd ask her questions about her own gray hair, and why she chose not to dye it. I'm curious! The story is that my Grandmother, like me, started going gray at a young age, and that she was "salt and pepper" as I am, for as long as my father can remember. In fact, when I was recently watching old 8mm home movies that my Grandpa Harry took in the early sixties, I could see that I even have a similar white-ish streak in the front just like my Grandma!

Once you choose your inspiration, remember to think about them often, especially in the long days, mid-grow out. Just remember, if they can do it, so can you!

To find some inspiration, I recommend Googling "Pretty gray hair on women" or phrases similar to that. There are thousands of pictures at your fingertips. Also, for my readers on Pinterest, that is my personal favorite place to find visual inspiration for gray hair everything!

Who will be you gray goddess?

3.) Pick The Right Timing  for YOU!

I want you to have the best chance of success, and so should you. That's why, doing a little bit of pre-planning will REALLY pay-off in the end. First you need to ask yourself : "Are there any SUPER important events coming up this year, that I need to look my best for?" You must be honest, but also reasonable with yourself.  For example, I was asked to chair a very large, formal fundraising auction the year that I had started growing out my gray hair . I knew that I would be up on a stage in front of 350+ people, and because I was also aware that I might have my photo taken for some newspapers or local magazines, I knew for me, this was a deal- breaker. I had to wait until after the auction was over to grow out my hair, so re-colored and decided to wait.

NOW............ there was another time, before even the notion of chairing an auction was on my plate, that I began growing out my gray.  I knew that my brother-in-law was getting married in New York several months ahead. OF COURSE I wanted to look my best, especially in the family photographs that will last forever.....BUT.....I needed to ask myself, was this REALLY an event that warranted pushing my growing out back another six months? The honest answer was "No, not really", and I'll tell you why.  It wasn't my wedding, I wasn't going to be, nor should I be the center of anyone's attention. It wasn't MY day to look my absolute 110% greatest ever. If I had to get creative with camouflaging the gray, I was willing to give it my very best shot. You really need to weigh things out when finding the best timing to jump in. Try to hold back on the worrying, and only delay the growing out process if it's something where you'll truly be in the spotlight.  Besides, if I did end up with terrible, terrible hair right before the wedding, I knew I could always re-henna or re-dye and start again after. There are so many things that can stop us from taking the leap. Sometimes holding our nose and hopping in is the best thing to do. 

By the way - here's my wedding hair. I think it worked out fine enough, don't you!? Also, at some point after this photo was taken, I went into the lady's room for an instant root touch up, and so can you!

NOW I'LL TEACH YOU YOU HOW............. :)

4.) Getting Started - Hiding the dreaded "skunk stripe!"

I'm going to be honest with you. One of the hardest things, maybe the ONLY difficult thing for some people about growing out their gray hair is the dreaded "skunk stripe." The line of demarcation, that ever-widening stripe of white that begins at your roots, and cascades ever so sloooooowly down as the months go by.  Here is an example:

Behold, the completely embarrassing "skunk stripe", back when my hair was extra-strange red from years of henna. Do you know how many times this photo has been taken from my site and used in anti-gray hair color ads??? :(

Ok, so there's two ways to look at the skunk stripe, one positive way, one negative. I suggest the positive.  

On the one hand, negatively, the skunk strip is glaring and a force to be reckoned with. It's MUCH more obvious than for the people who's gray grows in strand by random strand. In this sense, skunk stripes are seriously the worst.

On a positive note, although the skunk stripe is a little "In-Your-Face," you'll be over and done with growing your hair out to more consistent color,  faster than your friends who only have strands slowly coming in. 

Strands or a skunk stripe, both have their pros and cons, and both have a bunch of great ways to ease the transition for you as they grow! If you can have fun and learn some neat ways to lessen the contrasting gray's impact, why not! You'll be much happier and more likely to stick with it while growing out your grays!

Skunky Tip #1. - For a while, it's all about HIDE, HIDE, HIDE!

(This goes for you too to some degree my stand sisters.) I can't even begin to tell you how many great products there are out there to help you in your early months of transitioning to gray. While your silvery roots are still just a few inches long, you'll have LOTS of options!

Let's start with the root touch-up group. Root touch-up products come in a several forms: Liquid with a mascara like wand, a solid stick or "crayon," and even powder!

I suggest going online and reading reviews, or visiting your local beauty supply store to ask which brands people have been most happy with. There really are so so many different formulas and styles  to choose from!

One popular choice is the root cover-up stick. I preferred the stick because I was able to wet it and "paint" on light layers of color over my roots, just like using water colors! You had a bit more control over how much coverage you would get, verses using a liquid form which was often very opaque.  While I didn't care too much for the strong perfume smell of the stick, my favorite was the 

Roux Tween Time Hair Crayon.

I liked this touch-up stick because it was larger in diameter than most of the others out there and comes in quite a few colors. You could cover more roots in less time due to it's size, and because you wet the stick, that allowed me to be more precise with how much color went onto my hair. It can leave the top of your head feeling a bit waxy though, so if it does, sometimes combing through gently with a fine toothed comb will help to make the texture more natural. Have fun, just experiment, and try not to take any of this crazy stuff we do too seriously! :)

The next form of root touch-up that I want to discuss is the powder form. Something that I had not known about at the time, and WISHED that I had tried! Many of us use make up for our faces - it comes in powdered form. So why not then, use powder make-up for your hair!? I found this nice, little kit - COLOR WOW'S Root Cover Up  and I think it looks great! I have not tried it before, but it seems to be a crowd favorite and I think I would have loved it too. Read the reviews and watch their demonstration video and see for yourself. I love that powder cover-up isn't drippy or waxy like some of the sticks and liquid cover-ups. 

5.) Mid-way through. The skunk stripe gets fatter. Time for More Advanced undercover!

Just imagine it guys- you'll feel SO happy when you're all done with the grow-out process. One day soon, that skunk stripe will be more than a stripe, it'll look like a white yarmulke! And as potentially unappealing as that sounds to wear on your head for a good few months,  it's still a great thing, because that means you're getting closer to the finish line!

Enter advanced cover-up. When the root touch up wands and sticks are not enough, when the line of gray is getting too wide to paint on with color each day, consider these more powerful tools that I personally used and loved:

Ya ready for something kind of silly? Believe me, with the following, you'll be like....."WHAT am I doing?" These two techniques can work though, and  if going au natural with your grow out is just not for you, than it's worth giving the following powder and foam a try!

Ok, here you go - Bumble & Bumble Brownish Hair Powder  . This stuff is pretty darn cool and comes in several colors.  Many people use this product to help style slightly oily or un-washed hair., and to add texture and volume. Buuuuuut....because it comes in several colors, it's also super useful for covering your grays! I sometimes used this spray on powder when I wanted to look a bit more pulled together. Once in a while it would rub off on my clothing, so be careful. After reading the Bumble and Bumble's website, I can see that perhaps part of my problem was using it on clean, non-sticky hair. The powder was not always adhering as much as it could. Bottom-line though, neat stuff. This powder was a life-saver and really helps you in camouflaging your silvers!

Next up, foams (and rinses too)........

I am not a little old lady. I am not a little old lady. Just keep telling yourself that. No offense to little old women at all, AT ALL, it's just that, when  you're 35, you are not quite read to skip through mid-life to elderly just yet. And the word "RINSE" it just invokes images of...well, cartoon little old women from yesteryear with purple hair!  

There is a reason that women have been using rinses, and their cousin "coloring foams" for a long time though, and I think taking a cue from your wise grandmothers and great-grandmothers is a good idea.

Here are two examples,Roux Fanci-Full Rinse and Roux Fanci-Full Mousse . Both products work by being applied to the hair, letting dry, and wearing the color until the next wash. I have personally only used the mousse before. It actually worked quite well, but honestly, I hate putting more chemicals than I have to into my hair, so any day that I could go without a head-full of mousse, I would.  Everyone is different though, and using what you need to get through growing out of your grays is important! So do what works for you the best and feel good!

* VERY IMPORTANT EDIT! - It has been brought to my attention by a wonderful reader, that people have been having problems with the Fanci-full Color Styling Mousse staining their gray hair! YIKES! Please please be very carful, that would be such a set back in the growing out process. I was one of the lucky ones, I did use Fanci-full's dark brown mousse and for whatever reason, it did not leave any staining that I noticed. I only used it a handful of times though. Also, some of us have more porous or more dry hair than others. My hair did not soak up the mousse color. Please be very careful, be aware, and make the decision that is right for you! Thank you readers, you are amazing, THE BEST! :)

        

6.) Now What?  Half a Head of Gray. Let's Distract and cover!

Ok, I'm going to tell you a great secret about growing out your hair and leaving the dyes, rinses, foams , powders and sticks behind..... THERE ARE FEW THINGS AS LIBERATING AS NOT HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR HAIR COLOR ANYMORE!

I really really mean this. Once your hair starts to grow out far enough, and using the cover tools is not so much an option, here are a few tactics that helped me with my transition. It was so nice to stop with the chemicals, the perfumed products, the whole mess and hassle.

I'll started with the oddest thing that I did. I guess it does include a tiny bit of root touch-up stick, but not much more. I FULLY ADMIT THE FOLLOWING MIGHT SEEM  CRAZY. 

There comes a time in every prematurely gray girl's life, when she just wants to look young again. When she feels discouraged, like her hair will never be one color. So, she goes out and buys a........FALL.  Yes, a fall, as in, a mini-wig! I'm embarrassed to say this because it seems so extreme, and some people have medical necessities and must wear wigs. I feel badly about that. They're not comfortable. Most people don't choose to wear wigs. I was feeling desperate, I didn't know how to hide my half-a-head of white hair anymore. The stares were getting to me. So, I went to our local beauty supply store, and came across these headbands with synthetic or human hair attached to them. They looked so long and pretty and youthful, and the shop owner took pity on my strange, half white, half dark brown locks, by readily offering up a discount. I came home that day with long, brown hair.....that wasn't mine! 

I know this photos doesn't really show much, but I'm wearing the fall here. I tied one of my scarves around the headband part to cover more of my gray hair in the front. Then, using a touch-up stick, I colored any remaining hair brown. A perfect solution? No. Helpful on the hard days? Yes. I know I must have looked odd, especially to those who knew me, but out in public, at least it was a way to avoid some of the surprised stares. 

A favorite tactic of mine, that I've used for a long time, is the "half-up" hair do. If you are like me, or like many women, every single hair on your head is probably not going gray at once. This is a good thing, because it helps you look a bit "softer". As the gray roots widen and grow though, it can look a bit harsh at the line of demarcation. One way to visually soften, is by pulling your hair back, off of your face. Play around with your parts, try to figure out where your white is growing in, and how it looks best around your face. I've found that half-up hairdos and hair pulled up to one side, are nice ways to change things around.

Here is a self-admittedly, completely weird picture of myself. I have NO IDEA why I wasn't smiling, but I vaguely recall that I was just taking this photo to remind me of how I did my hair/accessory combo for the future and never intended it as a blog post. Here I used pulling my hair back, PLUS a scarf, to soften and distract. 

It's clearly evident that you can't fool people at some point, you have to accept that people will readily know and see that you're growing out your white hair. These tools just that extra ounce of security and confidence. And also, it's fun to play with hairstylist and accessories!

Another thing that you can do is learn to crochet or knit! Then, go crazy and crochet (like me), or knit, a million headbands and hats!

Guys, NEVER under-estimate the power of a hat. If you need to wear a hat for a year, so be it! If that is what it takes to get you through this process, GO YOU!

As I've learned to crochet over the past year, I've made many a wonky-looking hat, but that's part of the fun.  This is what this is all about! It's about YOU becoming comfortable with being UNIQUE YOU! You always have the option of going back to being your old self, the more "blend in with the crowd" self. That's fine! But how nice to carry in your bag of experiences and self-beliefs, that you also like theauthentic YOU too.

6.) The Big Commitment Option

I used to read the Going Gray, Looking Great website all of the time. It was SUCH a wonderful, helpful site for inspiration and information while making my transition to gray.  The Going Gray website still has TONS of information and also their book:  The Going Gray, Looking Great! Stop by, you will really feel empowered! Also, be sure to check out the G.G.L.G Facebook page HERE .  And, ontop of all that, a MUST is the G.G.L.G. chat room  -The Silver Sisters Cafe Gray . So much support all around us!  How fantastic is that!? 

One thing that I came across time and time again, was that women who were growing out their gray hair were often getting short haircuts! The idea was, if you cropped your hair, there would be less contrast of colors between your dyed color and your new color.

The thought of gray AND short hair, really scared me personally. I liked having longer hair, I worried that wearing a short cut would look bad on me, and make me feel too masculine. So, first I decided to have only my fried ends trimmed off, which ended up giving me an above-the -shoulder bob. It was ok, but still, as the white stripe grew, and the summer sun turned my previously henna coated hair more and more red, I finally gave in. I wanted as much of the contrasting red  hair color gone. I went back to the salon for a shorter cut. I couldn't believe it. 

I suggest that you arm yourself with lots of pictures of short cuts that you like. Hair styles that you can live with. One of my favorites, that I felt would also work well with my hair's texture was Audrey Tautou's pixie cut.

(Found on SeriousWhiteShirtAddict.com)

And while of course I could never come out looking like beautiful Audrey, I have to say it was half-ok. Actually, I surprised myself by LOVING having short hair for a while! It was so easy in the morning, the first time in my life that I have ever been able to wash-and-go. It was also fun and different and individual. I wish that I had taken more pictures of myself with short hair, but alas, I didn't. 

I will say though, sometimes when I am tired of all the blow-drying and curling and straightening and fussing with my long hair, I go back and pine for those fun, short-hair days! So if you do decide to cut your hair, enjoy it while it lasts and  and even if it's not your favorite, you can count it as an experiment you've tried. 

7.) Go With It....

I'm 18 months into my personal adventure of growing out my hair . 18 months since I had my hair cropped into a a pixie, at least as short as Audrey's above. This is the state of affairs now:

I look a little crazed, don't I!? This is me on four days of little sleep and a 5:30am wake-up. Jon had been out of town on a business trip, and I never sleep well when he travels. This morning, he had rolled in on a red-eye flight. I wanted to snap a hair update shot for the blog though.

This is my hair quickly dried straight. I didn't take much time to shape and de-frizz. Making it straight-ish gives you a better idea of where things are. You can see that the white part is quite disconnected from the dark brown. In reality, the contrast is a bit less, but in this photo it's pretty glaring. I could simply chop off my dark ends and be done with it, but I haven't because I really wanted some length after having short hair for such a long time. My gray extends into the dark brown (but it's difficult to see here), and when I pull my hair half-back, it actually looks fairly uniform. Phew!

I'm not a fan of these harsh layers, but they are remnants of the pixie cut. Something else to grow out....  

Maybe I'll have another cut soon, maybe I won't. The point of #7. is that sometimes you just have to go with it.   I know that this is one area of my life that I don't have much control over.  I know that peripherally I can try to make things go my way. For the most part though, this is a mini-practice in going with the flow, something that many of us can always work at. Take this whole thing as a learning experience, an adventure. I know that I am. 💖

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Ok my silver sisters! Now it's YOUR turn to go at it! If this is something that you REALLY want, if you feel READY and that it's RIGHT for you.......then by all means, YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm here to back you all the way, and to cheer you on! \(^-^)/

Thank you for taking the time to read these little tips. I hope that some of them can help to make a difference for you as you go along. One of our BIGGEST and BEST tools for success, in anything that we do, is the connection that we have with each other.  So always remember that, you're not alone in this journey!

With Lots of Love,

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Lauren

EDIT: HOORAY!!!! IT'S TIP NUMBER 8!!!!!!!!

Silver Sisters, this is Lauren from the future! 😂😂😂

I'm just popping in quickly to share with you, FIVE and a half YEARS in, what my absolute favorite gray hair product has been. This one is a game-changer and it's something that you might want to start using as soon as you have a few inches of new growth in. I'm talking about the

Joico Color Endure Violet- Sulfate Free Shampoo and Conditioner DUO 33.8 Oz.

Trust me when I say: THIS SHAMPOO AND CONDITIONER HELPS TO BRIGHTEN UP YOUR GRAYS AND KEEPS YOUR WHITES, WHITE. IT MAKES YOUR HAIR SPARKLE!

I have tried countless brands of "purple" shampoos and conditioners over the years, in an attempt to make my gray hair look bright, not yellowed or dull. Joico's Color Endure has worked the best for my hair by far, and, as a huge bonus, their products are SULFATE-FREE and PARABEN-FREE! I love it! The bottles are a gigantic 33.8 ounces each. It takes me about three months to work my way through them, so I'm not always having to re-buy. My hair has just really benefited from using Joico, they're my fave, and I'm only sharing because I truly believe in the good that these products can do! 😃

I know the following pictures are A BIT ODD, but they're from the past six months of using Joico Color Endure. You can see how light and bright my hair is. It really made a difference, even from the beginning. Fun stuff! 😃😅😂