Different Learners Change the World

Dear bloggy readers - parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers and friends of different learners, 

Today, I have a wonderful post to share with you! Do you remember earlier in the week when 

I wrote about the happy news of finding a unique learning environment for Noah?  How Noah "Goes to Kevin's" now, to learn and socialize and grow as a person? Well, Kevin has stopped by in my own, little corner of the internets in the form of a guest post today!

So many of us struggle with being "different learners" - you might have ADHD like I do, or dyslexia or dysgraphia or a processing issue. You might be a  kinesthetic learner and find sitting in your seat, listening to lectures from a teacher unbearable. Whatever way you or your child learns best, if it is not typically  part of a conventional education, Kevin will surely have some tips and advice to instill hope and inspiration in you!

As we get closer to the release date for Kevin's third book: Success and Failure with ADHD: The Oskar Schindler Story, I wanted to share a short post written by Kevin with you. Kevin talks about how different learners, often disregarded for their unique traits, can make for some of the most poignant, creative and positive changes in our world!

Different Learners Change the World - by Kevin Roberts

I am an adult with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and I run programs to help ADHD and different-learning youth succeed academically.  Every single day, I and millions like me struggle through this condition.  We have problems following through, staying focused, maintaining motivation, and completing tasks.  We do not function well in routine reality, but many of us thrive when life deals us intensity.  

When I travel, for example, my ADHD symptoms seem to vanish.  Being in new places and around new people excites me and activates my brain.  When I did a speaking tour through the United Kingdom and Europe this past March, I stayed organized and energized for two weeks straight.  I am an author and usually struggle terribly with writer’s block, but on that trip I completely edited my recently-finished book, started the outline for my next book, and finished the first stages of planning for an ADHD exchange trip coming this July.   While sitting still and completing rote tasks bedevils people like me, when life is filled with possibility and adventure, many of us with ADHD are unstoppable. 

The adults who surround ADHD young people frequently fail to focus on our strengths, and we can as a result develop serious self-esteem issues.  The good news is that there are great examples of extraordinarily successful people with ADHD and who learn differently, many of whom have changed the world.  We need ADHD heroes to inspire us and to counteract the steady diet of negativity that many of us receive in school.  

Love him or hate him, Sir Richard Branson has made a huge impact on the world of business.  Like many different learners, this amazingly successful billionaire does not play by the rules of the system, but rather creates his own systems, excelling in innovation and out-of-the-box thinking.  A visionary, he does not limit himself to one field, but is continually on the lookout for new and adventurous opportunities.  Like Sir Richard, ADHD young people often fail when shackled to the system because their strengths are pathologized.   Young people whose talents, like those of Sir Richard, include creativity, spontaneity, risk-taking, and playfulness are usually viewed by teachers as troublesome and problematic.  Weighted down with such labels, individuals like Sir Richard all too often perform poorly in school.   

So the place in which we spend 30-40 hours per week, an institution that essentially measures our worth, does not generally honor who we are and our unique contributions to the world.   We hunger for adventure, new experiences, and challenge.  Without these, we usually fail, or at least underperform.  School and many jobs just do not offer the stimulation we require to optimally function.  But solutions for different learners do not come from helping us succeed in living boring, mundane, and repetitive lives.  What if Sir Richard used his energy to force himself to play by the same rules as everyone else?  The world of business would be deprived of many innovative strategies.  

Another great ADHDer also struggled in school.  Unlike Sir Richard, this individual failed at almost every business he ever started.  But this man did something so extraordinary that his deeds will echo down the ages.  Oskar Schindler was kicked out of school, had numerous brushes with the law and, like many ADHDers who fail to find their way in life, struggled with addiction.  But during a brief period during World War II, the intensity and dire nature of circumstances brought forth his inner genius.  If you do not know the story, he outwitted the Nazis and saved 1200 Jewish people from the fires of Auschwitz.

Oskar Schindler had all the hallmarks of ADHD:  impulsivity, poor follow-through, difficulty staying on task, as well as terrible organizational challenges.  But when extreme intensity greeted him every day and when people’s lives depended on his actions and decisions, Schindler came alive!   A few wise Jewish businessmen in the Kraków ghetto saw Oskar’s genius and supported him in his most extraordinary endeavor.  Sir Richard’s parents also supported his every endeavor, and this fact underscores the importance of looking passed the disabilities, like Sir Richard’s dyslexia, and relentlessly shining light on a person’s strengths.         

In my work with different learners, I find that a very common strength is an innate desire to help others.  You will succeed in helping those of us with ADHD and learning differences if you work to empower us to find intensity and excitement, activities that activate our minds.  Better yet, help us find purpose.  People like us know the pain of alienation, of being shunted to the margins of school and the society at large, and so, many of us possess instinctual empathy and a desire to help ease the suffering in the world.  

We may not all have the skills and aptitudes to become billionaires or defeat an evil empire, but I assure that if you look carefully at a person with ADHD and peel back the problems and the difficulties, you will find an individual who powerfully wants to be of service.  You do us the most good when you help us help others.  With support, intense and relentless focus on our strengths, and the abiding belief that we have something unique to offer, you can help us—and we will—change the world.

My upcoming book goes into great detail on this phenomenon, The Oskar Schindler Story: Success and Failure with ADHD (Available on Amazon, July 2016).  Please contact me if you’d like to help spread the word on this groundbreaking book.  I believe this book will change the world!

To learn more about his work, or to contact Kevin, visit his website:  www.kevinjroberts.net.

Join myself and other parents like me on Kevin's Facebook forum: ADHD Change the World.

Finally, you can find Kevin's highly acclaimed first books, Movers, Dreamers and Risk-Takers: Unlocking the Power of ADHD   and Cyber Junkie: Escaping the Gaming and Internet Trap on Amazon.com.

Until next time, love yourself and love you kids, just the way they are!

xoxoxoxox,

Lauren :)

Great Gray Hair Products and Makeup Round Up!

*This post contains some Amazon Associate links. I just wanted you to know that I haven't been paid to talk about any of these products and none have been gifted to me. I simply like the following items and would love to share what I've found with you! To read my complete disclosure, please see HERE! Thank you! *

Hair Sisters!  \(^-^)/ (I feel like calling you "Hair Sisters" instead of "Silver Sisters" for a change. Is that ok?) Hair Sisters, I am back once more with a few of my recent favorites. You can see from the photo below that I have totally thrown my "natural beauty products only" aspirations out the window. Actually, it was done out of yellowed hair desperation.  If I could find and afford only eco beauty products that truly work, I would easily choose to steer clear of anything conventional. That said, one, maniacal night, I was driven to order all of the hair  products that I feared the most on Amazon. Products that promised to make my lack-luster gray, SPARKLE!!!!!  I really needed help.

A purple toned gel to hold your style but not yellow it, some V05 goop to soften and smooth, and a RINSE (go ahead, you can laugh) to brighten up even the most dull heads of hair. That's what I've got for you today. Because I've neglected to cart myself off to the salon since last summer *gasp* , my hair has kind of paid for it. As time has gone on and I've gotten more white than gray hair, my color tended to take on brassy, yellow tones. Going to see my hairstylist Lydia helps immensely. She gives me a trim and a clear glaze with a hint of blueing in it to brighten my white. I REALLY need to go see her, but in the meantime, being busy with homeschool and all, I decided to try a temporary fix at home.

Here's a picture that I quickly took this morning. I tried smiling, but honestly, I just HATE taking pictures of myself. (I do it for YOU Hair sisters!) I feel like when I smile, it's even worse- my eyes squint and I get chipmunk cheeks and my nose scrunches up. Not a good look.  The point of this picture is to show you that after using the above products, my hair was brightened quite a bit! 

Ok, here's at least a half-smile. It's more "me" than the serious photo above. ;)

So you can see that my hair is quite white and bright at the moment. I've been trying out this trio of products for about a month now. Let me tell you about each one, and how I've been using them....

For starters, I'm still using whatever shampoo and conditioner is lying around our shower. It's usually a Renpure Organics Argan Oil Shampoo & Conditioner. Recently though, I've been more conscious to use a "purple" shampoo and conditioner at least a couple of times a week. You can see my "My Favorite Products" page for a list of my top natural and more conventional purple shampoos and conditioners. Since I've use up my "eco" ones for the time being, I've been using my 

Pantene Silver Expressions Color Enhancing Shampoo and Conditioner.  I like the stuff! No, it's not natural, or super special, but I feel that it works quite well when I need to get some of the yellow out and to brighten up.

After I wash my hair, this is when I...... USE MY NEW RINSE!!!! Maybe I'm naive, but I've always thought that rinses were something that grandmothers in the 1950's used. I might be wrong. Also, I've heard horror stories about white haired people (like myself) who accidentally turn their hair purple from a bluing rinse. I don't want to do that! After little free time and limited extra money for a trip to the salon, I became brave enough to try a rinse for in-between visits. I've heard that a lot of people get good results from Roux Fanci-full Rinse #49 Ultra White Minx. Guys, this is the stuff!
Thumbs up! I think it totally worked for me, and no purple hair look included! Apart from being terrified about the chemicals and annoyed every time I have to apply it, this is it! It works.

With damp, post-shower hair, I wrap a towel around my shoulders and stand over the bathroom sink. (Don't imagine this scene.) Roux Fanic-Full Ultra White Minx is a very watery, purple color rinse that deposits an undetectable amount of bluing onto your hair, neutralizing any yellow tones until the next time when you wash it out. Surprisingly, I personally have not had any purple staining on my hands or scalp or even white towel. Maybe I'm just careful with washing my hands and where I apply it, but I find the color in this rinse not to be a problem. You can read the reviews on Amazon to see how other women apply this rinse to their hair, but I just carefully squirt some from the pointed tip of the bottle onto the top of my head and then comb through. CAREFUL TO AVOID DRIPPING INTO EYES! I've also poured a bit into my hands, and then leaned over the sink or tub and applied it directly to the areas of my hair that are most yellow. One thing I've noticed is that it pays to saturate your ends and other places that are dull.

Next I put my hair up in pony tail for a few or I go right to drying my hair. I've only ever dried it on warm/hot with a brush, but see no yellowing with this product. In fact, my hair comes out whiter and brighter than before!

After drying my hair I've been using my large Conair curlers that have a velvety surface.  I know heat styling isn't the best, but my hair is so poofy and unruly, it REALLY helps to smooth down the frizz. I like to use my Giovanni 2chic Avocado and Olive Oil Super Potion as a heat protectant most of the time. It also helps to smooth out the hair shaft. After curling, I comb my hair, and if I want to set my style, like I did today, I use a small, dime size dab of One 'n Only's Shiny Silver Gel! I wondered if "purple" gel was any different from everyday clear gel products. It doesn't seem to be, and this gel is not what I would call "SUPER hold," but I like it a lot. For one, it doesn't make my hair stiff or crunchy at all, but it does help to keep down some of my flyways. Also, I figure, the purple tone isn't yellowing my hair, so why not. It can only help, right?

Finally, IF....if my hair is still frizzy, which is not always the case, or it it is lacking some shine, I will apply the teeniest, tiny baby finger, fingernail's worth of VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing for Gray/White/Silver Hair. Seriously, what is hairdressing even? All I can say is this stuff WORKS! Any split ends are immediately mended. Your hair gets a nice, soft shine. YOU MUST USE IT SUPER SPARINGLY THOUGH. This tube will last me until 2060. I know it. Sometimes I use a bit of the V05 on second day hair to make it a litter softer and shinier too. It comes in handy, and at this price, I highly recommend it for your gray hair tool kit!

In the makeup department, there are just two, quick things that I wanted to show you. Both of which I am wearing in these pictures. The first is Physicians Formula Organic Wear 100% Natural Origin Work It Full Flared Fit Mascara. I just love it! I've been wearing Physician's Formula mascaras for several years now. Many of their formulations are more natural and their mascaras make my lashes happy! I've tried four different types of Physician's Formula mascaras, but this one is my favorite. "Work It" not only makes my eyelashes longer and fuller with one swipe, but it lasts all day and only comes off with soap and water. It's pretty close to waterproof, but without feeling heavy or clumpy or waxy. It just great!

Also, I really love my new Origin's Matte Stick in Gingersnap.  These little, velvety lipsticks come in four matte colors. (Right now it looks like two colors are in stock.) I love them. The formula is creamy, highly saturated and has a lot of staying power. I feel like they moisturize my lips and I adore the matte finish. In fact, I like mine so much, that I can't wait to try another! I just read that "Eggplant" is not as dark in person as it is online, that it's more like a rose color. That might be my next one. Oh, and it's buildable color. I can apply it over chapstick for a more sheer look, and no lip liner needed.

And so my hair sister,s that is the scoop!

Until next time, be nice to your hair!!!
xoxoxoxoxoxo,
Lauren :)

The Perfect Situation!?

*Don't worry my Silver Sisters, I will continue to write about gray hair as well, and new hair products and tips. I didn't want you to think that I forgot about you! \(^-^)/

A theme that seems to be running through my life this year is "learning to change your perspective." I never thought that homeschooling would be our thing, I was wary of it in general. Now though, it feels pretty normal and pretty good. My perspective was changed.

Since Noah was three years old, he's attended the same, wonderful school. It was PERFECT for him, and I always felt so incredibly lucky to have such a highly regarded school for the gifted in our own backyard. This wasn't just a school, since 1941 it has been a well known educational program and think-tank for gifted learning. They are open to all of the sensitivities and social-emotional differences that can come along for these types of learners. If anyone was going to understand Noah, it would be them.

Beyond all of that though, this school was our community. Going from Preschool through 12th grade, and being fairly small, this school becomes one's FAMILY. They were, in my heart, all of the families and teachers and staff, my second and beloved family. We were in it for life. "Lifers" is what they call students who travel through the lower, middle and upper school. For the past eight years I imagined high school graduation day, and how I'd need to bring a full box of Kleenex and how I would be SO PROUD of Noah and all of his friends, many of them that I've now seen grow from preschoolers to middle- schoolers. I've thought about graduation from the Lower School campus and starting Middle School and how it's even more important that our tight-knit group of parent friends need to continue with our strong friendships.

This is our future. This is Noah's path to growth and learning and a good college and a stable life. This is the community and connection and family that we always dreamt of. We were home.

That is, until three weeks ago, when Noah was too anxious to attend his visit for readmission.  

It doesn't sink in at first, when you lose the only future you've ever imagined. You're kind of in shock. We'd done EVERYTHING in our power to prepare Noah for plucking up the courage to travel the five blocks with us to the Middle School in the spring. All along, since last September, it was Noah himself who was asking to try again and start anew at the Middle School. We were just honoring his request and we were sadden and surprised when it just didn't happen.

Honestly, I was devastated. I've missed my school community a lot this year. My friends have been AMAZING with calling me and writing and inviting us over all the time, but it's not the same as being part of the school-goings- ons, or volunteering in the classroom or being on campus and sharing in the joy. I felt like a big chunk of my life was suddenly over. One of the best chunks.

Noah felt truly upset and embarrassed and sad too. He wanted to attend his two day visit badly, and my heart ached for his. He was ok though, a jumble of being bummed out and relieved at the same time, not to have the visit looming ahead. 

Maybe we'll try again in a year, or maybe for high-school, or maybe never. Who even knows. What I do know though, is that I had to do a lot of thinking and change my perspective about what future might be like for my son in a hurry.

*********************************************************************************

Look at my cute guy. We have been working on independence these days. He loves to go to the library, search for his own books and games, put holds on items,request things, and check material out himself. Life is actually starting to look up.

I keep reminding myself to put it into perspective, that he's only a 5th grader. Things will be ok. He's just a kid. Kids change daily.

So here's the basic update in a nutshell. In the vein of re-thinking my perspective, we might have recently found the perfect situation outside of Noah going back to school and it's certainly something I never even realized existed!

He "goes to Kevin's." 

"Kevin's" is the first place that Noah has been willing to go to without me since last September. Well, he did go to my Mom's house for a couple of hours twice, and to a good friend's house once, but other than that, in seven months, Kevin's is the only place. To me, it's a miracle! It took time and trust and a false-start, but he did it. Noah did it! :)

Kevin is unlike anyone you have probably ever met. He is the LOUDEST person you have ever met. He will be the first to tell you that he has ADHD, but he won't have to tell you, because you'll know. I laugh out loud CONTINUOUSLY every time I go to Kevin's and I wish that just like Noah, I could be a student there. Kevin used to teach at Noah's old school quite a few years ago. He has a way with students that are struggling or difficult to reach. He inspires them to learn and even more so, to find self-esteem, pride, their own voice. It might be his beautiful operatic singing and how he belts out...snicker worthy ditties, or the fact that Kevin can impersonate Bobcat Goldthwait and an angry Frenchmen like nobody's business. Or maybe he's just real and kids respect that. I don't know how he gets so many kids to do willingly do their work, but he does! 

Apart from being a teacher, an author, a life coach and world-wide public speaker and expert on ADHD, Kevin has also run a study group of sorts for middle and high school students for the past fifteen years. Now, including Noah, there are about four regular homeschoolers who come for learning and guidance from Kevin too. The hours and days are a bit unconventional, but once you get used to it, it's great! Noah attends five days a week with the other middle school and high school homeschoolers, Sunday through Thursday from about 1:30- 7:30. I still select Noah's curriculum, prepare it and homeschool him Monday through Friday, but when he goes to Kevin's, Noah brings additional school work to practice or Kevin gives the students his own learning materials. 

It's great, the homeschool kids work for a while, and then around 3:30, the study group students who attend surrounding schools start to trickle in. They come to socialize, work on homework with Kevin and do group study. Some days there are ten additional students, and often 15 or even 20! Noah is the youngest, Jon says it's like having 15 older brothers and I have to agree. :)

At Kevin's Noah is learning, but he's also gaining independence from me and has the social interaction that he enjoys. Kevin helps him to talk out his feelings and work on any social conflicts he might have with other students. There's a lot of good "life skills" talks too and talks about maturity and taking responsibility. I love that. 

One amazing, surprising, wonderful side effect of "going to Kevin's" is that Noah has a new found skill and appreciation of and for  INDEPENDENT WORK AND STUDY SKILLS!!! (WOO HOO)!!!!!

One of my goals for Noah, as we head towards middle school, is teaching him how to work independently. My kiddo is great, but independent working has never been one of his strong points. Now though, suddenly, like...overnight....it is!!! 

At Kevin's he sees all of the middle and high school kids studying and doing homework, and from what I gather through what Noah has said, he wants to just be "one of the guys" and do his own, "mature" work too! :)

LOL. That's all it took. And each time he goes, I send Noah with a check list of the work he must complete, and he does it! 

AND THE NUMBER ONE GREATEST THING....... NOAH IS NOW HAPPY!!!! \(^-^)/

For a while he was the little sad boy, and now he feels like the stronger, happier, more growing up-ish version of himself. He can't wait to "go to Kevin's" each day and he has made some really nice friendships and self-esteem along the way. I love Kevin, I can't thank him enough for offering this alternative learning environment as an option to families and children that need something different.

Until next time, learn to change your perspective and you just might find a beautiful, new view!!!! 

xoxoxoxoxox,

Lauren :)

Surrendering

I know it's been a while since I've posted and since I've updated. Unexpectedly becoming a homeschool family has changed our lives more than anything since the birth of Noah. My days look very different now. Homeschooling is a full-time job. It really is when you add up the time that it takes for good lesson planning and record keeping and prep-work.

I wrote the post below over a month ago, and so much has changed since them. I wasn't going to post this, it felt, kind of depressing, not who I want to be, but I am deciding to publish it, because it's part if the "real." Thankfully, things have gotten better in many ways, and I will write about that soon too. This past month has taken twists and turns, some felt pretty devastating to me, and others, quite hopeful.

*******************************************************************************

Homeschooling this year has been the most fascinating journey. I can't express how interesting I find the fact that I have gone from a typical homeschool skeptic, to a homeschool believer! Every single little doubtful question that I've ever had about socialization and learning and this and that has been sufficiently answered and more. It's like a whole new secret world has opened up once I really stopped to question our norms and my preconceived beliefs about education. 

I've always fancied myself an open-minded questioner, not somebody who followed the flock at all times. In retrospect, I'm shocked that I didn't realize how many different paths there are to learning, especially as a person who personally struggled with the traditional model of school.

For the past six months, I have vacuumed up and consumed every single book, website, podcast, online group and video that I could get my hands on, on homeschooling and different learning styles. When our library doesn't have the education book that I'm looking for, I go through the inter-loan systems, and nine times out of ten, one of my state's libraries is bound to have a copy. I've read websites and newsletters and magazines for months, subscribed to everything that I can, and joined well over ten homeschooling groups. We've visited two local co-ops and signed up for classes. My ears listen to homeschool, education and child-development podcasts non-stop, I joined Periscope for the homeschool "scopes" and scan Youtube to glean tips. I'm all in. I'm enmeshed. I'm engrossed by everything.

But this comes at a price. My whole life right now is about Noah. Trying to figure out what happened this past fall when we had no choice but to withdraw from school, trying to understand what makes Noah......Noah. Why is he anxious, why has he always been so intense, why is he distracted and unfocused? Why can his thinking be ridged and inflexible to reason? Why do new experiences and some old ones come so much more difficultly to him than other children?
How can we help him? How can we make school and day to day life smoother, easier, less intense?
(Just to let you know, Noah gave me permission once again to blog about this here. I would not share without his blessing. We both hope to find other kids sharing the same ups and downs of this experience.) *edit* And we have! :) I will write more later, but the first things that comes to mind is a wonderful 2e homeschoolers support group. Many many of these children has the same constellation of differences and diagnoses. I don't feel so alone anymore!

We've spent the past eleven years trying to understand the differences in our child. It's been a long road full of wonderful doctors, teachers and other professionals. Hours and hours of testing and working on things and more money than I ever want to think about. Some of the varying professional  opinions over the years have been giftedness, ADD, OCD, mild sensory issues, and just like me, Noah struggles with anxiety, which colors it all. There is also a possibility that he inherited dysgraphia from my side of the family, which affects his ability to make his hand write what he wants easily. It is all just a jumbled puzzle of "maybes" and little answers, nothing that has ever added up to a sure explanation. 

Jon and I, our life, most of our conversations, they revolve around Noah and how can we help him, how can we solve him. It had always been hard work having a child who is not exactly typical, more ridged, but this year, this year has just been exhausting. Last week, after a second expensive test in the past six months that has made little sense and only added more unanswered questions, we were both left with a heavy feeling of hopelessness. The feeling that if professionals can't explain it, then we'll never understand ourselves. We felt sick by the stress and worried and both of us had terrible tension headaches by the end of the week.

That's when one night, around 3:00am, after the second confusing test, Jon woke me up.........

"What if he said..." "What if we stop ruining ourselves trying to figure out what is exactly going on with Noah, and JUST ACCEPT HIM AS NOAH?" "What if we stop trying to change and fix him, but teach to who he is, parent him to who he is?"  This simple thought was a life-changing idea for us. After a decade of swimming up stream, why don't we just go with the current and surrender?

Of course this doesn't mean giving up on seeking help and understanding, but it means instead of digging deeper and deeper for the mythical reasons for this trait or that, we just focus more on WHO he is and how we can help. 

I laid there in the dark, Jon's words rolling around in my head. I thought about what happened this past weekend, when we had plans to visit my Mother and Father-in-law in Toledo, which is an hour's car ride away. For several reasons, we hadn't seen each other in an uncharacteristically long time, it was a much anticipated visit. Then though, when the time came to leave the house and head down to Toledo, Noah went into panic mode. We could not get him to leave the house. I don't know what we were thinking, making plans to visit. We knew that Noah had developed a fear of freeways last summer, when he became carsick on a trip up north. As recently as last month, Jon and Noah planned their annual father-son trip to the Detroit Autoshow, but Noah's anxiety kept him from getting on the freeway. It was heartbreaking for Jon and I to see Noah so scared and unable to get into the car. It was also embarrassing, we worried that we must look like parents with "no control over their child."  We felt like people wouldn't understand (of course my Mother and Father-in-law completely understood without any judgment, only love) but still, we felt terrible, and this similar situation has happened over and over and over for years. Travel, birthday parties, day camps, playdates, school, crowded places....

On a happy note! Here's the magical thing about choosing to surrender.......when we turned our focus from "why is this happening?" to "ok, how do we move forward in our own way?", eventually Noah back on the freeway ! Once we truly took stock of Noah's fears and his needs, and called off the day trip down to Toledo, things started to improve. We talked and talked and walked outside in the fresh air and talked and talked some more. Together the three of us came up with incentives to help Noah face his fears. Amazingly, later that night, after dinner, Noah was willing and ready to try riding on the freeway for one exit! This was huge. He hasn't been on the freeway since last August! Once we took the pressure off, once we stopped fighting, once we surrendered to what is, there was room for growth! One exit ramp's worth. :)

One ramp on, to the next exit ramp and off. The deal was, if he could do it, we'd all celebrate with ice cream and playing some Wii, and he did it! We worked on all the breathing techniques and the relaxation tools and the CBT principals with him and he did it!!!

NOT ONLY THAT....but Noah wanted to try going FARTHER!! So we got right back onto the freeway and drove for ten miles.
Yep, and now Noah says that, and I quote: "That riding on the freeway is actually relaxing." LOL!!!
I'm so proud of my guy.

I found this article on Parenting a Child With Anxiety very profound.

*****************************************************************************

Not only were tests and freeways causing stress, but as much as I love the concept of homeschooling, Noah is often unfocused and not very motivated to learn for me. (It seems though, for what it's worth, it was usually similar in a school setting for him too.)  It's a long, slow process, and takes a lot of energy to get an ADD child to comply and complete their work. Noah has expressed all along that he would like the option to possibly go back to school in the fall. So,with the end of March  looming just ahead, the time when he is supposed begin the admissions process with a visit for observation and tests, I need to prepare him. That means being up to speed on math and other subjects. It's been a daily struggle to get Noah to willingly cover all of the material. This constant push and pull has made him sad and stressed and both of us sometimes resentful of being stuck homeschooling in this way.

(What learning and life can be like for a child with ADHD. I've been there myself.)

It had been a really really difficult week last week, and we were ready for some kind of game-changer, and once again, the answer turned out to be simply..... Surrendering.

If I could change my views on parenting Noah and on homeschooling in general, then why could I not challenge my opinions of HOW I  should be homeschooling? I have certainly become well versed over the past year on all of the many styles of homeschooling. The classical, the unschooling, the Charlotte Mason type. The unit studies, the traditional, the interest-lead, the Waldorf and us, the eclectic homeschoolers, I've researched them all! I've tried them all, trying to figure out which teaching and learning style suits my child the most. Yet here I was, frantically buying the same exact math books that his former school uses and trying to cover the same science that they were currently doing, just to give him a chance to be re-admitted. All along KNOWING that the "school at home" approach was just pushing Noah away and causing so much stress for both of us. All things equal,  if I could follow the style that seems to call to both of us, it would be interest-led, eclectic, with a dash of unschooling thrown in. My mind keeps saying "as long as Noah wants the opportunity to perhaps return to his old school though, we must keep up, I need to keep pushing."

But this is Noah, and just as one of his therapists recently said: "Too much pressure to complete work and to jump over hurdles makes him shut down, and too little pressure leads to no motivation. It is a difficult balancing act." It's a tricky thing, getting an ADD kid to succeeded. So this week, I decided surrender again. 

********************************************************************************

Since September I have tried many many different "curricula" types. We started by pulling from some great workbooks, classic novels and videos from the library.  I fell in love with the Life Of Fred Math curriculum  (so did Noah) and the humorous math and grammar books by Dan Greenberg. We tried a unit study, an inclusive online curriculum, and various computer based grammar and math sites. (In another post I'd love to go more in-depth on those. We've just tried so many)!
Educational netflix programing has become our friend and getting a membership with Education.com has left me with endless worksheets in every subject. (Noah prefers worksheets surprisingly). The biggest game-changer for us though, was purchasing an all-inclusive curriculum, minus math, from Moving Beyond the Page.

Moving Beyond the Page is a fantastic literature-based curriculum that promotes critical thinking skills in a unit studies format. It's very hands-on and project heavy as well. Each unit includes it's own a science text/workbook and a Social Studies/Language Arts text/workbook. The most amazing part though, is that you are provided with tons and tons of hand picked educational books, both fiction and non-fiction to go along with each unit. Also included are many novels. The books bring everything to life! And this is before you get to the materials kits....! Terra Cotta colored clay to reproduce native American pots, kits to make dream catchers, the classic computer game "Oregon Trail," boxes of tools to carry out science experiments, a see-through model of the human body, complete with "squishy guts." It's great!

(This is everything that came. Workbooks, textbooks, literature and materials kits.)

(Here are the Language Arts text/work books.)

(And there are the Social Studies/Science books.)

(These are the novels for this year.)

(These are the nonfiction resources.)

(Here are more science books and materials.)

(And yet more hands-on materials....)

This is a good example of the kinds of projects that Moving Beyond the Page has you doing. We started with a unit on the geography of the united states. When we got to the western states, one of the activities was to roll out sugar cookie dough and use a stencil that we made to trace the region. The circles of dough on the cookie sheet are just extra, and the big blob, well, you might be able to just make out is  California with Oregon and Washington on top. LOL.

Next, Noah had to bake the cookie and frost the land with green icing. He pipped in blue icing for major rivers of the west, traced rough outlines of the states and places chocolate chips for mountains and red hots for major cities. Cool, right!?

We also studied Native American culture. We watched a video on traditional pottery techniques of the   Pueblo Indians and used terra cotta colored sclupey to simulate natural clay from the southwest.
We even went to a pottery workshop shortly after and spoke with a potter about special stones that some native cultures used to smooth and shine their pieces. It was great!

For some reason this is as far as I had gotten on this post and so I think I shall just leave it here!


Until next time, go with the flow and try to enjoy the ride. :)
xoxoxoxoxoxox,
Lauren