Today is the first day of winter break. It started off well. Noah slept in 2, 765 times later than he usually does and didn't come moaning into my room until 7:45. We played a little with his new bug game, and then I beat the legendary and feared puzzle #40, in the "Super Difficult" level of Clever Castle, for shock value. I am finally cool.
Next was a Chicken Little DVD while I showered, which ended quite quickly, as I didn't know, but apparently the sky falling is that which five year old anxieties are made of. Surprisingly, at school this fall, Noah play a bit part in Chicken Little, in his preforming arts class. Although, most recently it was Santa in the Polar Express, which Noah preferred and whole-heatedly got into with all the gusto and dedication of any three foot tall Jew. Ho Ho Ho.
We both shared scrambled eggs and cinnamon toast for lunch, and when I asked him to come in and watch The View with me while I put on my make up, he politely declined in favor of fifteen minutes with his "Steam and Steal; Train Art of the 20's, 30's, and 40's" calendar from 2007. What a great morning.
And then while laying there in his little Snoopy shirt, hanging half-off, upside down on our over sized club chair, Noah said: "Mama, I'm lonely, I wish we had more people."
My heart sank to my feet and every self flagellating, guilty thought of Noah being an only child sprang forth, out from the filing cabinets of my brain, and started slapping me in the face.
"Oh Noah...." I said with tears in my eyes. "Do you mean that you wished you had a brother or a sister like other families?"
And then he thought for about two seconds and said: "No Mom, I wish that we had more kids on our block!"
"Um....you do? Like, this isn't about siblings"?
"No, I don't want a baby bothering me" said Noah, with nothing but conviction.
Then we put our coats on, took in the garbage cans, drove all the way over to Jungle Java, and bought the limited time offer deal of 12 passes for $50, so he can go play in a "neighborhood" with a butt load of kids in it.
I'm not going to bore you AGAIN. About the way that EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE that we go, asks BOTH of us, when or if we are going to have another child. Wait...wait, strike that, the secular, humanistic Jews at the latke party last week didn't ask us, but that's probably because they are an extremely liberal, very intellectual bunch, which automatically makes them defy odds, and apparently that includes the odds that someone random is going to come up and ask us about my uterus. It was also a lot better in New York City last month. Apparently in some places, there are these ridiculous people who actually think that living within their means is an ok thing to influence how many children they have. I just said; "Pshaw! What's living costs, lack of space and time have to do with it!? Ha!"
We were at a Christmas party this past weekend. Hey, a Hanukkah party AND a Christmas party. Can you say: POPULAR!
And of course we heard it...yada...yada....
"Are you sure!?"
The rudest most recent, rudest remark, which didn't happen at the party by the way was:
(With a frown and a sad, I pity you voice) "Awwww......really? That's too bad...."
No, really, what's too bad is that you have to drive a mini-van lady! SUCKER!
Ok, so my question is, why is it, in our culture, perceived to be so NOT NORMAL when you choose to be a one child family!? Why is it looked upon with disbelief and a negative stigma? Shouldn't we have more openness and acceptance that having an only child can be an ok option?
I'm sure that there are millions of families out there, that go on to their second child, not because they are positive it's the best choice for their situation, but because of the pressure from family, friends and society to fit the norm. Nobody likes being the odd man out.
I'm not saying by any means that having an only child is a better way or Superior to having multiple child families. I know as well as anybody else that the number of children that you do chose to bring into this world is an extremely personal decision, based on a limitless number of unique factors. I'm not advocating for only child families. What I AM advocating for though, is a more visible and thought about option of choosing to just have have one, if that means it is the right fit for your family. It would be a positive thing!