Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Ear PLugs Please!

Oy vey! The doctor said I have water in my ears, but for some reason, as I sit her at the coffee shop plucking away at these keys, every single word spoken by the obnoxious guy behind me sounds like jet plane taking off. Dude, we use "indoor voices" here. This is why I don't go out to coffee with Noah anymore, he doesn't understand to use his indoor voice yet. It's a coffee shop, sure it's not a library. You come here to drink coffee, gather, talk and study. I'm just saying, save the loud voice for heckling the ump.

It's 2:06. For an amazing miracle of miracles, I am out at coffee ALONE for like the first time in a year and a half. It feels.....AMAZING. I'm young again! I'm free! I'm me! I'm....I'm....paying ten dollars an hour to do this and feel sick. This sucks, but you know what? Sometimes, you just need to be alone. Before Noah, I was the type of gal who valued her alone time. As a kid, I needed alone time to draw or paint, use my imagination, ride my bike. I love my friends and spending time with Jon and Noah, but...being alone is something I need for my own piece of mind. I don't like going off alone when Jon is home much because I miss him. We get a few hours in the evening to spend together, but those are often filled with Noah, cleaning, and other to-do's. I can not lie, our weekend time is stressed. Noah isn't easy, he's a toddler with a strong personality. That, coupled with errands to run, a house to care for, it doesn't leave Jon and I much "Us" time. SO, that's why, although he would gladly watch Noah, I don't like to take off at night and leave Jon. So now I find myself spending my weekly appointment with the sitter, at Carribou coffee today. Normally I would use this time to grocery shop, go to the bank, pet store...anywhere Noah isn't too fond of. It just makes life easier. It's been just two weeks, and so far, having three hours to myself makes an amazing difference, at least for me.

I think I'm going to have to leave though. Now two people are blabbing behind me and I'm struggling to type. When you have ADD, ever single noise you hear, breaks your concentration. This is maddening! I broke the cardinal rule of ADD...never attept to study,read,write, talk, do math,fill out forms unless you are in a silent room with no windows and no decoration on the wall. In college they had this funny room deep inside the "handicapper's" office. Since my doctor had well document my as he says "Moderate to severe ADHD" I was supposed to register with State's Handicapper's office. They gave me free, private coaching sessions on taking notes in class, studying effectively, time managment and organization. I was also given the option to take all of my exams in this funny little room. It was embarassing, but in retrospect I wish that I had taken them up on it. Really, this room, it was like a box with sound proof walls, a nice chair and a table. No windows, plants, paintings. It was for ADDers. I bet I could have been ver y productive in there. Oh well....

Next week, if I decide to skip grocery shopping for writting, I will bring my headphones and my white noise CD. I'll go to one of those study cubes in the library. Yeah.

The end.

1 comment :

Judy said...

I keep threatening to take my laptop to the corner coffee shop and blog, but I think my battery sucks right now and would let me down!