Before children: Hop in the car, go to Target, get shopping done at a leisurely pace.
Newborn: Allow 10 extra minutes to bundle up baby in baby carrier, grab diaper bag. Hope he sleeps through the trip. Shop as long as you want, at least until he wakes. Get what you need and go.
Infant: Allow yourself an extra 30 minutes to get to Target. Get the baby in Hat coat, shoes. Pack up a bottle, toys, blanket, binkie, snacks and the "Floppy" to cover the shopping cart seat. Shop at break neck speed while praying to the Gods that your kid does not have a melt down and/or poops while at Target. Once the last toy and only bottle goes flying out of the cart, it's time to leave. You forgot the toilet paper. You're in trouble.
Toddler: Allow yourself an extra hour to get to Target and an extra hour to get your shopping done. (Like that will ever happen). Put child's hat, coat , shoes on. Turn your back for one nano second, only to find they are all off again. Fight child to put hat, coat, shoes on again. Gather up your purse, be sure to add a sippy cup, snacks, toys, blankey,binkie and the "Floppy" for when your kid will never agree to sit in the seat. Fight your child again as he's taken off all of his clothes this time. Go out to the car, try to push his rigid body down into the carseat. He only want to touch the light on the ceiling of the car. Fight to get him in the seat until the neighbors look out their window to see what you are doing. He has pooped...go back inside for a change and start all over again. Get to Target. Attempt to put your toddler in the cart. He has a melt down. Deflect the other shopper's stares by laughing nervously. The binkie doesn't work anymore, let him down to walk. Immediatly he heads for the feminine hygiene aisle. That's weird. Follow your toddler around the store for an hour. Let toddler push cart so as not to risk yet another tantrum. Secretly wish you were not a stay-at-home Mom so you could actually go to Target ALONE on your lunch hour. Don't get anything off your shopping list, except buy the pink beaded, heart-shaped drink coaster he chew on when he found it on the floor. You don't need a coaster. You need toilet paper! Give up, go home. When your husband comes home at 6:00 and offers to watch said toddler so you can go to Target, even though you have been on your feet all day, chasing said toddler since 7:00am with no real break and you still need to make/eat dinner....get annoyed and just ask him to go for you. Over cheese cubes and green beans and cherrios you take a deep breath and remember that Target will always be there and that someday your toddler will have one himself....it's just karma.
Target, Babies, Toddlers