Friday, January 06, 2006

Light Bulb Moment

Ok, so this is very sad but true. I just had a profound light bulb moment. We're leaving in a second for our Mom's and Tot class at our temple. We've been on break for nearly three weeks, so for whatever reason, I got a mini case of jitters, like the first day of class. I want to look nice, as I've mentioned before, most of the Moms in class are all decked out in expensive designer duds. Oh yeah and they're like a size 2! Ugh........ So here's five foot, rolly polly me, in my designer clothes from Target. I will NEVER let them know my shoes cost $16.

I was just sitting here, checking my mail, feeling very uncomfortable. Why was I undcomfortable? Because, after spending two hours finding just the right outfit for today, I realized I was wearing, stretchy, suck em' in underwear, control top Turbo Tights and a Nancy Ganz Body Slimmer. Ok, fine, you're right, it's a GIRDLE ok! Sure I looked like a size 8. Well, just in about four square inches of the stomach area, but I was in PAIN!

So know what I did? I took all of my clothes off. The GIRDLE, the control tights, the skirt, boots....and put on my damn, non-designer jeans, white socks, clogs and long sleeve t-shirt. Alright, you got me, yes, I'm still wearing the suck em' in underware. Leave me alone. Baby steps.

So if you hate that fat above that gorgeous c-section scar of mine, or my saddle bags...I think that's what they are. Well, then you can go away. I hate them too, but I like myself more as a whole than I hate certain parts. And now this post makes no sense and we are going to be late to class.

And by the way...I just want you to know that I got hit on in a coffee shop by a woman yesterday. Yes! someone did hit on me. And since I never get hit on, I am very happy about this even though I am not a lesbian. And I should tell you that she was very hot, which means I must also be hot to hot girls and that brings my coolness factor up five whole points to my all time high of "Total Dork". Thank you.

1 comment :

Kendra Lynn said...

Lauren:
I am proud of you...get RID OF THAT GIRDLE, girlfriend! Be the REAL YOU!
You are beautiful and sweet...and those mom's are probably all anorexic anyhow.
Love you.