Thursday, September 29, 2005

HB Presents: Ridiculous Japanese-English Thursday

I still enjoy reading, (I mean trying to read) Japanese magazines. This hobby started way back in college when I would stare at the diet ads in the back of Non-no magazine and marvel at how nobody's thighs would touch. So yesterday, while out in Novi for a play date, I decided to swing by the Japanese book shop and pick a magazine up. This ad just really struck me, a happy feeling coming from a gorgeous cake tree of love.

Without further adieu, may I present to you: TINY SNIPER!!!

Originally uploaded by How Bourgeois.

(Thank you Imju for the picture of your product)

I will now translate the English on the packaging from the advertisement in my magazine for you because, when it comes to Japanese products, even we need the English to be translated for us sometimes.

*Original Advertisement*
Tiny Sniper
Happy infinite romances occur in a newborn oasis. Wink your future!

*English Translation*
If you use our product, you or at least your eyelashes, will become a tiny man who sits on top of buildings and tries to kill people by shooting them with a gun.
(I guess this is supposed to be a good thing) (Oh! And by the way, there's no warning on the packaging about possible jail time).
You will have happy, MULTIPLE romances that will happen to last forever, but don't worry, because remember, they are HAPPY infinite romances. And by the way, these never ending romances, they happen to take place in a very new oasis in the desert. It's new, so there's probably only like one palm tree and a puddle of water, but heck, when you've got HAPPY romances, who needs the modern conveniences of the western world!? Wink your future! Whatever the hell that means. I just couldn't tell you.


The Bombshell said...


Kendra Lynn said... THAT is why I don't wear eye makeup! Who wants to wink their future or whatever it was that you said. :)