Thursday, November 06, 2014

My Eight BEST Secrets for Dealing With the EMOTIONAL Ups and Downs of Going Gray!

Hi Silver Sisters, it's Lauren from September 2018!  I have the most amazing update for you - my husband Jon and I have launched our very own hair care line!  I have learned so much on my gray journey, and our new products incorporate all of my "tips and tricks" for making silver hair look terrific.  I am leaving all prior recommendations in place because I hope that they will continue to be helpful to people, and I will continue to use and enjoy many of the products that I have written about in the past. My opinions still stand on them. 

I hope that you will take a look at our new line By The Way, Your Hair Looks Fabulous!™  - it is a complete line of hair-care and styling products made especially for Silver Sisters AND for anyone who wants their hair care to be more natural and more affordable! 

- - 

This post is a hug from me to you. A hug that says: "I know that this is hard. Really hard. But you know what? I know that YOU CAN DO THIS! Remember deep inside, past all of the worry and doubt, that you are strong and you are determined and you are full of courage. Now onward my Silver Sister friend!"

Yesterday, I hit 900 subscribers on the How Bourgeois Facebook page. If you would have asked me three years ago, if I ever thought I'd have even 500 subscribers one day, I would laugh and say "never!" But I'm so glad that I'd be wrong, because today my life is richer, full of wonderful, new friendships and I see over and over the goodness that helping each other can bring.

It's YOU guys. My blog friends! My silver sisters, my beautifully caring readers! It is YOU who I see time and time again, leaving comments and notes and sending emails to help and encourage myself and to others around us. What a gift it is for me to witness such compassion and camaraderie in a world that can sometimes be cold and sadly cruel. You are shiny, bright role models for the human race!

What I'm getting at is THANK YOU DEAR READERS!!! Thank you for being there and thank you for pitching in to help each other. You are amazing and incredible and I am ever so grateful for you each and every day. And so, I hope to always be able to give back to you too. To send out as much encouragement and support and warmth as you have.

That's why I've thought long and hard about my journey to gray, and have compiled the things that helped me the most as my gray hair grew out. These are the "secrets" that helped to make this quite emotionally rocky, "adventure" go a bit more smoothly. It's kind of the companion post to my "Seven Best Tips & Tricks for Successfully Growing Your Gray Hair Out."  I hope some of these little tips can help you along the way too!

I love you guys! Thank you from my heart! \(^-^)/

So you've made the decision that it's time for you to stop coloring your hair. Whatever your reason may be, you're ready, you're scared, and you're dreaming of the day when your transition is all complete!

(Scared me. Worried me. But hopeful me too....)

It takes a lot of getting ready to start your gray hair grow out. You might scour the web for hours on end, looking for advice and information on how to gracefully go gray. You could be searching for words of wisdom that make sense of this momentous change! And, quite possibly you're finding yourself desperately searching images for inspiration and encouragement. Looking for women who have blazed this trail before you, and came out looking half-way ok!

Yet for all of the prep-work and reading up and planning on how to handle this COLOR change, it's easy to arrive unprepared in regard to riding the roller coaster of EMOTIONAL change- when we dare to go gray.

(Sad me. Several months in.)

But fear not my Silver Sisters!
As you have arrived at secret #1.) The MOST IMPORTANT SECRET!

"For all of the turmoil and emotional ups and downs during our transition to gray, there is FAR MORE happiness and freedom and positives in the end."

Fear, sadness, feeling ugly, feeling old, not wanting to venture out into the world for worry of what they'll say and think.... Every not-so-great feeling you might have now, it is so worth it in the end, you'll see! The good out weighs the bad, trust me on this one. :)

Secret #2.)

"One day soon you're going to feel normal again. Your won't feel like you with gray hair, you'll just feel like plain, old normal YOU!"

From the moment that those strikingly obvious roots begin to show, and your fear and worry creeps in, to the oh-so- "interesting" looking skunk stripe that takes over later, and all you want to do is wear a bag over your head and sob. It feels like things will NEVER be the same.  A week while growing out your gray hair can sometimes feel like a month, a month like a year! If you're anything like me, you've been standing in front of the mirror wondering WHEN WILL THIS END!? When will I finally feel like I look half-way normal?  Will it ever NOT BE ABOUT MY GRAY HAIR again!?

Well, the answer is "YES!" Yes, yes, yes. Believe it or not, there will come a day, sooner than you think, where you'll wake up and it will be business as usual. You won't wake and look in the mirror and think of the gray. (You'll look in the mirror and think about how you want to style your hair that day.) There will come a time when you walk into work, or a family party or a friend's get-together and the talk isn't about how your gray hair is coming along. (You'll talk about anything else but your gray, because it's old news!) One day, things will settle down and you will be back to just being you. You will not be defined by the choice to stop coloring your hair, you will not be defined by your hair color!

Secret #3.)

"Growing your gray hair out is like childbirth, the memories of all the hard stuff will fade, it will quickly becomes a thing of the past!"

I know this comparison might sound a little silly, but believe me, as somebody who has been through both situations, I was surprised to find that after my gray hair grow out ordeal, the stressful memories faded fairly quickly. When you're in that "eye of the hurricane", and you have a few months of new hair growth, it can just feel so major! Every time you step out of your house, you might be bombard by worries of what you look like to the world. "Will people stare at me at the grocery store?" "Will I hear snickers from kids at the library?" It can be enough to make a person stay home! (And feel really down on themselves too.)

But as your hair grows, so will you self-confidence! So will the compliments, so will your hope! And at some point, your gray hair will be all grown-in. You'll be sporting a new color and a style or length that just feels right, and that is when all that you went through starts to change to become a mere memory. And then....then....before you even have time to notice, those memories....they fade! It's funny, apart from the photographic  evidence, there is little I remember about the months of growing my hair. Especially, I have let go of and mostly forgotten the difficult times. Have hope....HOPE HOPE DOES get better! :)

Secret #4.) 

"Decide to change your FEAR into FEARLESS!"

Here's the truth- when you wake up tomorrow, you have a choice to make. You can either choose to spend the day worrying about your gray hair, OR you can choose to spend the day being fearless and free and not wasting time on fear. Because the fear will do nothing. It won't help you or your hair one bit. It'll just suck up your energy and make you feel sad.

(I CAN do this!)

EMPOWER yourself! See your gray hair grow-out as a MISSION! See this experience as a mission to help other women who are struggling and going through the same thing. GIVE THIS DIFFICULT JOURNEY PURPOSE! The purpose is to help others through your courage. Be a living example that things will be ok. Little in this world feels better than helping others. Help drive change in our society for the acceptance of gray hair and other "signs" of aging. GIVE HIGHER MEANING TO YOUR DECISION TO GO GRAY. :)

Secret #5.)

"Create your DREAM TEAM!"

 It's time to huddle up. Nothing, seriously NOTHING helps to quell the doubts that can creep in like a good, supportive team cheering you on!

When I first started growing out my hair, I was SUPER insecure. Everyday I dreaded school pick-up at the end of the day. I thought that I must look completely crazy to all of the parents and teachers. I feared that I was looking exactly like a skunk! Luckily for me, each time I ventured into Noah's school building and rounded the corner past the library, I'd hear called out: "SILVER FOX!!!" And then I'd smile, take a deep breath and know that I've got this! The person yelling "SILVER FOX!" , reminding me to stand tall, was my friend Elisabeth, who was also our school librarian at the time. She was one of the first people on my TEAM! And what a contribution she has made to my success, just by being there for me with positivity and fun encouragement. :)

So get a group together, seek out those who are willing to help. For example, I called around to salons looking for somebody who would be pro-gray. I was VERY lucky to quickly find my hairstylist Lydia, who not only did not try to convince me to dye my hair again, but fully, whole-heartedly let me know how much she thought my gray would ROCK! That was huge. Every time I go in for a trim or a hair treatment, it's like an emotional high-five for my decision to go gray.

Surround yourself with supportive family members if you can. My Mother and Father-in-law were spectacularly encouraging. I appreciated their warm, positive words so much. My Father-in-law even came across a new book about one woman's experience with going gray and bought me a copy! How nice is that!?  My team felt strong.

And for those of you in a relationship, sometimes the support of a partner can mean the world. From the get-go, my husband Jon was nothing but encouraging. He was open to having a 33 year old GRAY HAIRED WIFE! Which I think, the thought must have been at least a bit scary. But even if it was, he hid it well. Jon kept me looking on the bright side when I was feeling low. Reminding me that things would get better. How lucky I am.

I hope that you can find some family and friends and co-workers and professionals to be on your team too! Don't give up in your quest to find them, because I promise you will! As your hair begins to grow, more people will approach you with questions and more often than not, kind words. Use those interactions as opportunity to make more team members!

Secret #6.)

"Practice the art of acceptance. Accept the fact that you have gray hair and well, it just might be a little uncomfortable for a bit. Accept the situation, sit with it, and know that this too shall pass."

We can do anything much more easily if we know that there is an end point. We know that one day, your hair will be all beautiful and nicely grown out. We know that this is only a temporarily difficult time.

Say to yourself each day: "This is only temporary. I will just hang on and soon this will be over." And in the meantime, remind yourself  over and over with your gray inspiration pictures and your going gray support groups online and your encouraging websites that things WILL be ok, and very soon for that matter!

Secret #7.)

"Baby steps. It's all about day by day."

 Don't do a week at a time, do a day at a time. If you are having a particularly bad day, one where you are hating your 4" of gray growth or wondering WHEN THIS WILL EVER END!? Remind yourself to just take it one day at a time. It's easier to deal with a day's worth of doubt, then a week's worth. Remember, tomorrow is a new day. A new opportunity for a new outlook. A chance to chose positivity and fearlessness!

And something REALLY fun about taking things day by day, is getting to TREAT YOURSELF EACH DAY! Every single day, do something fun to brighten your spirits. Change up your hair style, find a new hair styling product, put on a new pretty headband, look for sparkly barrettes online. Go out shopping for a hat. Like me, LEARN TO CROCHET AND MAKE YOURSELF LOTS AND LOTS OF HEADBANDS AND HATS!!! :)

Purchase a vibrant, new lipstick. Play around with clothing colors, eat chocolate, take a yoga class, check out some great books from the library. Just do nice things for yourself each day, because right now, you need that extra TLC!

Secret #8.)

"Look at things from the bigger picture.  Your family still grows, the seasons still change in amazing ways, you still see beautiful sunsets that make you grab the camera. Life goes on!"

This winter you might be sporting gray hair to your ears, next winter might be swishing around with flowing gray hair, pretending you're a snow princess! And see, life goes on because IT'S JUST HAIR!

I've told this story before, (I think) but I'll tell it again. When I was a sophomore in college, I went to a local cosmetology school for a haircut. My boyfriend at the time had always said he liked short hair on girls, and on this particular day I was feeling slightly daring. I'm not exactly sure why, but upon climbing into the chair I said: "I want a pixie cut!"

I'd never had short hair before, and with my thick, wavy and unruly mane, there is probably a reason for it. But, none-the-less, I received the cut that I had requested. It wasn't a cute pixie cut, at least on me. If you thought I already looked like a boy with my baggy "skateboarder" jeans and tee-shirts and skateboarding sneakers, then now I REALLY looked like a boy, and not a cute one!
One look in the mirror and I was devastated. What had I done!?

I remember riding my bike with tears streaming down my eyes, all the way to the dorms. Thankful for the cover of darkness. Once inside my room, my friends tried to console me, but even they understood the mistake that I had made. I couldn't stop crying. And for some reason, some how, we ended up in a friend of a friend's dorm room. There was a girl in there whom I had never met before. She asked kindly what was wrong and through my tears I explained.

And then she changed my life. In the nicest of ways, with no judgment, only with genuine words she said: "My sister had cancer. She lost all of her hair. She was devastated, but you know, it's just hair, it all grows back. Your hair will grow back too." *Pan to me. Sobbing IMMEDIATELY stops. FOOT INTO MOUTH. Turning bright red.* And yeah, in a single instant I got it, I UNDERSTOOD...... IT'S JUST HAIR!

I'm glad this person's took the time to speak with me. I'm so thankful. I think that is why, 10+ years later, I was able to eventually go through with growing out my hair. It was the constant reminder to myself that it's just hair. I know this doest discredit how HARD it is to have gray hair and show it to the world. This doesn't negate the sad emotions, the fear, the odd stares we might sometimes get, but it does help to put things into perspective a little, doesn't it?

And so my beautiful, warm-hearted Silver Sisters, this is where I will end my post for today. It's not always fun to end with the most serious point, but I felt secret #8.) helped me greatly when the going got really tough. It helped me to take a deep breath and keep my eye on my goal, which was to get all of my gray hair grown out. In the end, I am so happy that I decided to take this journey. Thank you so much for being here with me!

P.S.!!! If you enjoyed this post and felt that it helped you out a bit, please feel free to share this information with others! Together, let's encourage, support and help each other! \(^-^)/ <3 p="">


Aussie Silver Siister said...

Fabulous as always Lauren!
Inspirational, uplifting, positive, I could go on and on.....

With love from your Aussie Silver Sister

Lauren said...

Awww, Aussie Silver Sisters, you are the BEST!!!
THANK YOU! \(^-^)/ I'm so glad to hear that you liked the post. We silver sisters have to stick together!!! :)
Sending lots of thanks and love from Michigan.

Lori said...

I've been growing out since June and just a couple days ago, my Mom tilted my head down..."Boy, it's a lot more gray than I thought it was going to be."
And it is, and at first, EEK! I wore a hat, I worried, fretted...and now, I LOVE it. I can't wait to post an updated picture of my hair to show you some progress.
Definitely went to the internet in search of someone Young with gray hair...found you and stalked your blog for weeks.
Just not caring about what other people think about my hair is the only obstacle I had to overcome. It's liberating!! Thanks for this post :-)

Lauren said...

Lori!!! WOO HOO!!! \('-')/
It sounds like you are doing GREAT and well on your way! Wow, I'm so impressed with your positivity and courage. It's inspiring!
Sometimes just not caring is the best thing we can do. bad as that sounds.

Glad you're feeling liberated. It's freedom, it's fantastic!!!

So much luck to you. I'm cheering you on! Thanks for sharing your inspiring message. :)

Loulou said...

Yeah Lauren. This is so well written. Hope you and your guys are doing great and enjoying a lovely fall season! xo

Lauren said...

Hi Loulou!!!! \(^-^)/

Oh thank you!!! Yes, it's been such a nice fall, but just this morning I saw some snowflakes. I have a feeling they're heading your way! ;)

I've been following along with Loulou Downtown and have been enjoying your posts. I love the way you look at life! (And your new crocheted rose pin is beautiful!) <3

Thanks for stopping by, that made me smile!!! You are one of my very first blogger friends, and definitely one of the most creative and sweet! :)
Have GREAT weekend!!!!

Tammy said...

Thanks for all the encouragement. I am 1/3 of the way to a head full of gray hair & so relieved to be done with the appointments and chemicals. Now, instead, I have time & $ for massages!

Lauren said...

Hi Tammy!

That's fantastic that you are 1/3 of the way! I really felt much better after that first 1/3. It's kind of past the initial phase. It gets easier from here! :)

I LOVE that you have time and money now for massages. WOO HOO! Now THAT is just ONE of the great things about going gray. ;)

Thanks for stopping by with your nice comment. I'm glad that you're here!

Anonymous said...

Lauren, YOU are the reason I decided to finally go for it and grow out my natural greys. I've been surprised at how long it takes if I think about it too much. I also had to share with you that while I do have a significant amount of grey, I've actually found myself wishing I had MORE! You have made grey hair beautiful, glamorous and and exciting. Thank you so much for the huge service you do for other women on so many levels. You are truly a hero.

Anonymous said...

Thank you! Just what this 43 year old going gray girl needed to hear. you are beautiful and so is your hair. I read your blog when I need encouragement. thank you.

Lauren said...

What a beautiful comment Anonymous friend! Thank you so so so much! You made me smile. :)
I'm glad you're doing well on this journey. I totally understand what you mean about wishing for MORE gray! I don't know why, but I'd really love to try all gray verses my salt and pepper sometimes. Maybe gray is just that great! \(^-^)/
Thanks again. Sending a big hug and lots of appreciation.

Lauren said...

Dear 43-year-old anonymous friend. I'm so thrilled that the blog was there at the right time for you! WOO HOO! Life can sometimes work in magic ways where you find the things you just need to hear. I'm glad that the post was able to help. Remember, you're not alone in this. Not at all!

Thank you for your thoughtful comment. <3

Sending a hug! (>'-')>

Shell said...

Hi Lauren,

Your beautiful after photos have been my inspiration in deciding to grow out the grey and this post came at the perfect time - just as I am starting to feel more self-conscious. 'it's just hair' is my new mantra lol. I am also in my 30's and if I could guarantee the result is as good as yours then this thing would be much easier! I am going to see this through though - I know I can do it. Thank you for words of wisdom :-) Another Aussie Silver Sister here. Love Michelle x

Lauren said...

Michelle!!!! \('-')/ Hi Michelle!!!!!!!

Awww, I KNOW that.... YOU CAN DO IT!!! :)

I'm so glad that the blog could help you out a little and came at a good time. You sound ready and excited for this, and that comes from inside of yourself, so you deserve a pat on the back! <3

I remember what a difficult time it was when I was just starting out, but I think, as you see your silvers come in, you're going to LOVE them! It's so much fun and exciting to watch your look transform and anticipate your new look. Oh! And it's always fun to play around with new make-up and clothing and hairstyles along the way. So have fun where you can!

Thank you for your very sweet comment my new Aussie Silver Sister! It's so nice to hear from you. You're in my thoughts, but I know that you've got this! You CAN do it!!!! :)

Noelle said...

Hi Lauren,

I am 27. I found my first greys when I was 13 years old. I have been dying my hair since. Last November I came across your blog and decided that I was going to stop dying my hair. I am 75% grey. This has been quite the challenge for me. There isn't a day that goes by where I can feel peoples eyes staring at my head. The constant comments and questioning "You are so young to be grey"
I know its just hair, and I keep reminding myself of that.

Lauren said...

Oh Noelle, thank you for your comment. That can not be easy. :(
I would think that being 75% gray in your 20's might as you wrote, get some looks and lots of comments. I'm sending you a big hug! (>'-')>

For what it is worth.... you mentioned that you started growing out your hair last November. If you are still in the growing-out phase, and not completely all grown out, things will probably get much easier! When I was growing out my gray, I also had many many stares and questions just like yours. Over time, as my hair grew longer and that line of demarcation went away, the stares and comments really slowed down. I'm not sure why, but my guess is that the color wasn't as glaring with a line of gray and colored hair?
Also, I feel like family and friends get used to your new look and accept it and stop talking about it.

I hope this helps. I remember how emotional the process was of growing out my hair. It's one of the hardest things I think a woman can do!

I'm thinking of you. It gets a lot easier soon!

Angela said...

I am so thankful I found your blog. I just began this grey extravaganza about 9 weeks ago. Had my first ugly pugly day yesterday, but after reading your post I feel rejuvenated! Thank you Silver Fox, love that by the way. I think I am gonna steal that name if it's ok? Any hoot love the support!!

Lauren said...

Hi Angela my new Silver Fox friend!!!!!! \(^-^)/
Oh I ABSOLUTELY think you need to take that name! It goes without saying! :)

I'm so glad that you're here, and my heart is going out to your right now. I remember those ugly fugly days and how truly difficult they can be. Please accept this hug from me to you: (>'-')>HUG

The GREAT news that I can PROMISE you, it gets easier and easier and better and better and then FABULOUS with time! Once you get past the initial awkward stages of your transition, things really settle down and you will learn to become used to your new hair color and hopefully love it! :)

I know it is hard now, but many wonderful things to come. <3

If ya need some cheering on, please just come right back again. I know you can do this friend!!!
Lauren :)

Unknown said...

Hi Lauren!

I too am a preemie silver sister. I think I was about fourteen when I first started going grey and now, at twenty-six , my colourist estimates I am about sixty percent grey.

I have been toying with the idea I'd let my grey grow for a while but find it hard to handle people who see to talk to my roots instead of looking me in the eye! :( it's been about a month since I last dyed my hair and my hair has been growing like crazy. It's currently down to the small of my back and I love having long hair but am unsure if I'll have to cut it short to "properly" embrace my silver side?

Have you got any suggestions for how I can make myself feel a bit more comfortable whines notice people staring army roots when they are talking to me? (I almost feel more uncomfortable than if I were to have caught them staring at my chest!)

Anyhow, recently discovered your blog and just wanted to thank you, and let you kno you have another follower!


Lauren said...

\(^-^)/ Hi Michelle!!!! I'm so glad that your wrote me, welcome! Welcome! :)

Oh Michelle, finding grays at 14 can not be easy. It sounds like you've been well aware of the "silver struggles" for quite some time now. I read your comment and started thinking. It's funny because when you asked for advice about dealing with the stares (at our ROOTS, not our chests. Lol.) I was going to send you the link to this blog post when I realized that you were commenting on the same pos thatt I was thinking of! Honestly, this post has my best advice for the emotional aspect with all of the stares and comments that one might get.

Beyond that, what I can tell you I did, and what worked for me, was knowing that yes, I was going to get stares and people who disagreed with what I was doing, but I had to ignore them, not let them stop me. Ignoring them was WAY easier said than done. I definitely had very difficult times when I felt sad or insecure, but eventually, all of that lifted.

The way I pictured myself during my grow-out phase was like a very focused olympic swimmer on the starting block- head down, ready to jump in, not paying attention to the sidelines, just bursting straight ahead! It's a straight line to the finish line. It will be hard work, but if you just put your head down and focus, you'll be done before you know it! :)

Also, you mention that you have very long hair. It sounds BEAUTIFUL! You wondered if you had to cut your hair short with your transition and thankfully, the answer is "No!" Although, it does help, but everybody is different. You have to do what makes you feel most comfortable.

This brings me to my last point...even though I write about gray hair and I have gray hair, I think that if a woman has gray hair, it's ok to color her hair, just as it's ok to go gray! There is no right or wrong. What I'm saying is, if you have a strong desire to let your gray grow in, awesome! And, if you don't have a strong desire for this or a big reason to stop coloring, that's ok too!

Michelle, no matter what, I know you'll do great, gray or colored. You just need to follow your heart on this one. :)
I'm so sorry that I rambled but I hope this helps! I'm glad that you're here. If you do go the gray route, I have to tell you that, at least for me, there's been some really nice benefits, like not having to bother with coloring my roots. It's difficult to be young and gray, but I promise, it gets easier!!!

Take care!

cindy hattersley design said...

I came here from Imogene's blog. Your hair is positively gorgeous! Although I am "much" older than you I too "gave up the goose" and went gray several years ago. I have never regretted it for a second and receive way more compliments than I ever did with my dark brown hair!!

Lauren said...

\(^-^)/ Hi Cindy! It's so nice to meet you!!! Thank you for stopping by and leaving such a sweet comment.
Your hair is just GORGEOUS! I'm so glad that you've never regretted it. Isn't the freedom from hair dye really wonderful?
Thank you again and welcome!
Lauren :)

Tindaya said...

Hola Lauren desde España. Gracias!!!! Soy mayor que tu y hace 5 meses que deje de teñir mi pelo lo tengo muy largo y estoy en ese momento de mirarme cada mañana en el espejo y dudar si no sería mejor volver a teñir, pero en eso momento pienso, mejor esperó a mañana.... Y así ando desde hace meses. Soy cantante y cuando voy a actuar oigo esos comentarios, aquí hay pocas mujeres valientes que deciden dejarse el pelo plateado pero cuando empiezo a cantar se me olvida mi pelo y esperó que mi ejemplo ayude a otras a tomar la decisión de ser ellas mismas y potenciar su belleza de manera natural. Hay que comprender que muchas mujeres son esclavas de su imagen, mientras tienes veinte años no eres muy consciente de ello, pero pasan los años y un día te levantas y te preguntas que cuando terminara esa esclavitud de belleza, porque nunca es suficiente, nunca estas demasiado bie!!!! Y es cuando has de pensar y observar tu alrededor y así te das cuenta que la belleza es espectacular y que no necesitas más adornos que tu misma. Te reiteró las gracias por tu artículo, me has ayudado muchísimo. Lamento no poder escribir en inglés esperó que el traductor de google sea benebolo. Un abrazo preciosa. Lourdes

ARose said...

I'm 36 and lowering my hair go gray. I have BLACK hair so it's apart noticeable. I have an appointment to have highlights put in so it doesn't look so noticeable. Have any of you had an experience like this? The hairdresser hasn't even seen how black my hair is yet so I have no idea if she can even do what I want.

smocksalot said...

Hello Lauren! Thanks to my silver haired daughter who gave me the link to your site. For over a year she has let the color grow out if her hair, and the results are beautiful. I think I might not have been as supportive as I should have been as I thought she should have the dyed part cut off, but she was determined not to do that. Now it is my turn. I am 74 and have been coloring my reddish brown hair for many years. Now the white roots start showing at 3 weeks.I already have two people on my dream daughter and my hairdresser who is going to help me figure it out. I get it trimmed every 4 weeks and don't mind going very short if I need to. I lost my hair to chemo in 2008 and should have left off the color then. I may have tompull out my pretty wig for emergencies, but I'm ready to go.Thanks for all of your tips and support.