Tuesday, August 09, 2005

The Most Disturbing Diaper Change Ever

Noah is down for his afternoon nap now, so I want to tell about the most disturbing diaper change I have ever had! It happened just a while ago. As Moms out there know, no matter how hard you try, sometimes it is just very very difficult to keep a wiggly child still during a diaper change. Noah loves to flip over and flail his arms and legs around, he hates being on his back while getting changed. You do the best you can as a Mom and my first priority is to keep him from wiggling off the changing table, which would be very dangerous. My second priority is to keep his ever moving arms and hands out of his "stinky diaper treasure". I have no idea why, but I hear it's not just him, Noah wants to touch inside his diaper, clean or not!

This afternoon was no exception. I took Noah to change his diaper and almost immediately he wanted to flip onto his stomach. I put him on his back again and held the poor guy down. He started swinging his arms all over so I tried to hold those down too. With the other hand I attempted a stinky diaper change, but it was too much! Mind you this was a VERY stinky diaper. Before I knew it, Noah had smeared poopies down my arm and almost in slow motion I saw the guilty hand go towards his face. Noooooooooooo! I thought in my head. Must-save-Noah!!!!!! I was too late, as I was looking at the most disturbing poo poo mustache I have ever seen. Actually, the only one I have ever seen. It look amazingly, exactly like one of those classic evil villains who tie the damsel to the railroad tracks! It was so odd and gross and Noah didn't even seem to notice the horrors that he had just caused. I was freaked! 5 minutes of major clean up later I was about to snap his onesie up when I saw it!

Oh my gosh! There was a lump sticking out from his stomach under the onesie! Oh No!!! It's his belly button! Why is his belly button an outie instead of an innie now!? I was so panicked! My baby! Thoughts of terror ran through my head...is he in pain? This must be some kind of baby hernia! How could I have let him get hurt!? Was it the baby slide I got him!? Oh my gosh! I need to call the doctor! Oh no! He'll need surgery!! Oh God!!! I was so scared, my heart pounded, but I knew that I needed to lift his onesie to get a better look at his messed up belly button. Slowly, apologizing, I lifted his shirt.

And there it was...a piece of freeze dried apple snack stuck to his stomach. I laughed. What the heck is wrong with me? You never want your child to be hurt but gosh! Jumping to conclusions...something I need to work on!


Kendra Lynn said...

Oh man...I have had some of those diapers with Kelsey...whew-weeee!!!
Glad you survived. :)
Love you.

Jeremy said...

Welcome to the club of parents with poop stories.

We had our lovely experience last month.

It's funny, and you can always bring it up when he brings his first girlfriend over.

Judy said...

I was laughing so hard at this that my older son had to know what I was reading! Poor you! And poor Noah! HAHA Not laughing at you, just WITH you!

Tyler is a flipper, too, and is always grabbing the diaper. I keep a supply of toys on hand for him to play with ONLY when the diaper is being done so that he is otherwise preoccupied. It has helped tremendously.

I commend you for your usage of the changing table. We gave ours up...too dangerous for Tyler and I was tired of hauling his adorable rear end up on it! Now, it is either on the bed (we have the pad on the bed) or on the floor!