Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Comments on Your Gray Hair. The Good, The Bag and The Funny! (And There's Hope!)

It's a new day for How Bourgeois! Oh my gosh, I can hardly believe it, but I finally plucked up enough courage to make a "vlog." That's right, a VIDEO-BLOG. For a whole slew of reasons, I've just been too afraid to jump into the realm of video, but today I did. Mainly because I've been so far behind on actual blogging,and "vlogging" is quick way to say HELLO!

So without further ado, here is my first video. This one is for my gray hair friends, but if I continue to make videos, I will definitely branch out to all kinds of different topics. This particular vlog is about the comments that we receive about our gray hair. The negative comments, the positive comments and even the funny comments! I wanted to share my experience and to give you hope that no matter what, it's going to be ok. Often, the negative comments are later replaced with support and positivity!

Since this was my first try at "vlogging" the video ended up being a bit longer than I had intended. Please bear with me as I figure this whole thing out! Also, please let me know if you might enjoy more videos.Then I can get a feel for if vlogging is something I should continue with or not.

And finally, please feel free to share any funny, interesting, surprising, negative or positive comments that you've received on your hair too! I'd love to hear them

Thanks friends! Until next time!
xoxoxoxoxo,
Lauren 


42 comments :

Aussie Silver Sister said...

Dear Brave Lauren,

It was so delightful to hear your voice in person, I watched your video today all the way over here in Australia, and it was lovely.

I think you are very brave, as a fellow introvert myself, (and I also hate shopping, I just love online shopping instead) I think you have a tremendous amount of courage to blog at all, especially to do a video blog too. Well done you!

I am 10 months into growing out my grays, I am 41, so relatively young to have so much gray hair, and I think most people are too shocked and surprised to see someone young with gray hair, so are not game to say anything, to my face anyway.

To people I know, my family, friends and work colleagues, I just tell them straight out that I am growing out my gray hair, that I am a proud silver sister, and am not pretending to be anything that I am not, and I have found that most people are supportive, but not about to try it themselves yet!

Maybe the more of us silver sisters there are in the world, the more we can inspire other women to be as brave as we are!

Please keep blogging, I know that I really enjoy reading your thoughts, not only about gray hair, but the weather and the wildlife in your part of the US is so different to mine here, so it is fascinating to read all about it.

Many thanks,

Your Aussie Silver Sister

Joylene Nowell Butler said...

I'm a bit surprised that most of the negative comments I receive come from women my age and older. Things like, you have lovely hair, why would you go grey! Or: you look young, you won't if you go grey!

You are so adorable, Lauren. Thanks for the encouragement.

Your Cnadian Silver Sister.

mrs. bean said...

i love your vlog! more please. :) i'm 34 yrs young and letting my hair gray naturally. thank you for the inspiration and tips! the main coomment i've heard is "gray REALLY ages a person". so be it. i mean, i'm content with aging. why not?! you're lovely and i enjoy your blog. take care! :)

Lauren said...

Dear my beautiful Aussie Silver Sister!!!!

HELLO!!! Oh, thank you for such a lovely and supportive and insightful comment. I'm so glad that you're here. :)
It's amazing to think that my little video is being watched all the way around the globe in Australia. I'm thrilled! Thank you for watching and for reading the blog. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you've found a bit of inspiration from How Bourgeois.

A big "Congratulations!" on being ten months in on your silver journey. That is really funny that many people do not say anything. You've made them speechless with your awesome hair! I also love that you just came right out and told your family and friends of your plans. I did similar and feel that it really helps people become used to the new you!

You are so right, let's keep coming out in numbers more and more with our early grays, and show the world that there is one more hair color that can be just fine! Even beautiful!

So much love to you my Aussie Silver Sister!
You made my day with your cheer. <3
Oh! And THANK you for enjoying my weather and animal posts too! I was so worried that they might be mundane. Hooray!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox,
Lauren

Lauren said...

Dear my beautiful Canadian Silver Sister Joylene!

Oh Joylene, your sweet comment made me smile ear to ear. THANK you from my heart for your encouragment.

You know, in answer to your "comment experience", I feel like it might be the case that when you choose to not dye your hair, some people, just a few, they might see that as a judgment that they dye their own hair. Of course you are not judging anybody at all! When we choose one path for ourselves, sometimes those on another path think you are discrediting theirs. I'm sure you know what I am meaning, but for example, stay-at-home-mothers and working mothers. That can be one example.

The only thing we can do is like ourselves,and feel good about whatever choices we make. It all works out!

So much love to you in Canada! I'm just north of Detroit, we love our neighbor Canada sooooo much!
xoxoxoxoxoo

Lauren said...

Hiya Mrs. Bean!!!

You are FABULOUS!!! I absolutely loved your response: "SO BE IT!"
That is brave and wise and beautiful! I have a dear friend who often says similar. She says: "It is what it is." I think this friend is incredibly confident and strong and happy in the face of many things that would bother most people. If gray ages us, so be it!

Thank you so much for the inspiration and the greta comment.
xoxoxoxoxoxo,
Lauren

Mrs. G said...

Hi Lauren! I took the plunge this summer and decided to let the gray grow out. My colorist was kind enough to camouflage the grays with highlights just so I don't have that horrible "line" as I walk around in public. I simply cannot wait for it to finally grow out! I love the color, the silver, the salt and pepper. I only have about 1.5" of new silver growth and hope I can pull it off once its all grown in.

I've also received the same questions…why would you want to do that (and that was from my stylist!) Won't you look older? Even my cousin who is a hairstylist shook her head and simply said "no, don't do it".

I've also received positive comments, co-workers encouraging me to do it because they love the "funky" aspect of it. As do I.

Before I finally made up my mind I did some googling and searching through Pintrest. That's where I saw one of your pics and I was sold. So Thank you for the encouragement. Your hair looks fantastic! I'm eagerly awaiting for mine to grow.

Warm regards,
Lynne

Fifi said...

Hi Lauren. It's great to see you in a video. We can really see your hair as you talk. Love the plait, it shows your tones off.
On the compliment theme yes you look so amazing with natural hair I'm not surprised you regular compliments. You looked pleasant enough before but I doubt I would've followed your blog so keenly as I do. Which I do btw, it's a real tonic in today's bling not love world. I loved your loyalty to your little house.
I haven't dyed since about April, so got a good stripe going on. I blur it a little with the tween stick you recommended. Not to hide the grey, of which I'm rather proud, just to disguise the line between my faded dyed bits and the emerging silver. Very excited thanks to you. Please keep it going when you can. X
People I've thought would be negative have been Ok. People I thought would be Ok have been negative. I makes me laugh a bit.

Lauren said...

Dear Lynne,

Hi! Thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm glad that you're here and that How Bourgeois could help a little. :)

Hooray! I'm so excited for you, it sounds like you're off to a great start. Especially because you're loving the new silver that coming in. That speaks volumes! I think your highlights sound perfect too. I can picture it breaking up that line like you said. This is going to be good!

Sometimes I feel like hairstylist might be against gray, simply because part of their job is consulting on color and dying our hair. Perhaps some just look at things from the angle of color is better. The funny thing is, I used to never go to the salon, but once I found a pro-gray stylist, I now visit her regularly for trims and conditioning treatments. I think there can be a win-win for both us and our stylists! :)

Thank you again Lynne. So nice to have you here!
xo,
Lauren

Lauren said...

Dear Fifi,

I absolutely adore your comment! Thank you so much for coming by and leaving such kind words. I am THRILLED to know that you appreciate the blog beyond just the gray hair posts. Sometimes I worry that my non-hair posts are boring to most, but I want to write about all kinds of topics. Thank you for letting me know that you find the love, not bling topics ok. :)
Sometimes I just feel like expressing those things too!

Congrats on your new gray journey!! Yes, isn't the Tween Time stick handy sometimes? So glad to hear that you're proud of you new silvers. I would be too! :) You'll be past this phase of the grow out in no time, and soon you'll be sporting a head full of glittering grays!

Thank you for your encouragement. I will definitely continue to post and maybe even blog. I appreciate your vote of confidence!

Oh! And that is so funny, that your best compliments come from those who you thought would be negative and vice versa. Who would have thought!? That's funny. :)

I hope that you have a lovely weekend Fifi. Thank you again!
xoxoxo,
Lauren



Fifi said...

Hi Lauren :). Glad you liked my comment as it was my third attempt after a night shift and wasn't a patch on my first two unsuccessful attempts to post my appreciation for your blog.
Just wanted to say that although it was your crowning glory that brought you to my attention, via the infamous mumsnet as I'm a brit, but I've grown to love the whole care bear kath kidston fluffy cats and snickerdoodle theme you've cultivated here. Especially the fluffy cats. Oh and the robins sunning themselves. *** It's lovely. Please don't feel "boring". Us fellow introverted types LOVE this. :)

Lori said...

Loved the video - you're lovely inside and out!
I told my hair stylist she had to be supportive and on board...and she is or she's faking it :-) LOL!
Also, wanted to tell you that I've had two dreams that I went into the salon and she colored my hair brown again. And I LOVED it looking in the mirror at first, but each time I went to pay, it dawned on me that she covered up my gray and I start bawling. HAHA! Then, I wake up and am so relieved it's still there.
Isn't that funny!
LOVE your blog. :-)

Susan said...

Hi Lauren,

Thank you so much for your blog and all the positive encouragement you give for women who have chosen or need to go grey. I am 33 years old and have decided to no longer dye my hair as well. I found my first grey hair at 16.

Since I decided to grow out the grey I have actually noticed that I am not getting comments at all, and in fact, all the negative comments I received was when I was dying my hair. Like "oh you are too young to have grey hair" or "you need to dye your hair" or my favorite, "I see you have some grey hairs" (which I felt was said in a way which suggested that I didn't own a mirror in my home).

I have come to the conclusion, though, that I am not "too young" to have grey hair. That is just how my hair is. We have beautiful women in the world with black, brown, red and blonde hair (and even dyed pink and green) why not grey?

I was so hesitant for so long because I thought that I would get just as many (and perhaps hurtful) comments. Now that I have started growing out my grey and have found that there are others like yourself who are embracing their hair, I'm not so worried what others think or say about the grey.

Thanks for letting us know that your biggest naysayers are now your biggest fans of your hair. I think when someone can't visualize the end result they automatically dismiss it. Thank you for your lovely blog!

Susan

California Silver Sister said...

Hi Lauren, you are a gem! I just loved your vlog and what you had to say. So helpful. I'm 15 months into going grey. Greying young runs in my family too. I'm a little chicken to cut my hair short so a couple of inches every three months is what I'm doing. I am so grateful for your website. I tried RenPure Argan Oil Shampoo and love it. You have the best recommendations. I'm looking for a nice bath soap that won't dry me out or be filled with perfumes. Any thoughts?

Lauren said...

Dear Fifi,

I LOVED your comment and I LOVED your second comment just as much!!!
Ha! THANK YOU - I do rather enjoy those "Care Bear, Cath kids ton, fluffy cats and snicker doodle" kinds of post myself! LOL. Too funny. Thank you, thank you for your vote of confidence. It helps me more than I can say.
Oh! And HELLO MUMSNET!!!! I just love you guys MumsNet!!! Thank you, thank you!!! xoxoxoxo

Thank you for taking the time to write Fifi. Especially after a night-shift. You took care and thank you for spreading some joy this way! :)
xoxoxoxo

Lauren said...

Lori,

YOUR DREAMS! Ha! Oh my gosh, that is too much. I'm SO sorry that your dreams ended in bawling. To dream about your hair and it being dyed brown and the whole scenario....that is too funny.

Well, I'm glad that you're doing ok, and that your stylist is on your side! (Or so she says.) ;)
I LOVED how you told her that she has to be supportive. That's fantastic!!! We should all be like you!

Thanks for your fun comment and all of the super nice things you said about the blog. Thank you for the support, it means so much!

xoxoxoxox,
Lauren :)

Lauren said...

Dear Susan,

Oh what a beautiful comment. You said everything so eloquently. Thank you for sharing, I just loved it. You are right, we aren't too young to go gray! You'll be showing the world that there is yet another choice, another way to be....gray! :)

Some of the comments that you received while dying your hair were not so nice. I do hope that the comments have stopped and that as time goes on, people will embrace this new you! I'm glad that you liked the bit about my biggest nay-sayers becoming my biggest fans, because it was so true. And fun!

Keep being you Susan. I can tell you are a beautiful person both inside and out. :)

Thank you for your kind words and support. It means the world to me. Let us know how you are doing down the road!

Warmly,
xoxoxooxoox
Lauren

Lauren said...

Hey California Silver Sister !!!!

I think you're awesome!
Thank you sooooo much for the vote of blog confidence and the support. I feel better knowing it wasn't a ridiculous experiment in vlogging!

I'm really happy that you tried and liked the RenPure Argan shampoo. That's great! I love it and now my husband and son are using RenPure too! I like to change things up from time to time though, so if I find another good one, I'll let you know!

Good question about bath soap. I'm always on the hunt too. Sometimes I just use Trader Joe's Oatmeal and Honey Soap. It's very gentle and mild. I do love Shea Moisture's Coconut Hibiscus Body Wash. It's liquid soap that is SUPER moisturizing and without too much scent. You might like it! Here is a link, but I found mine at Target.
http://www.amazon.com/Shea-Moisture-Coconut-Hibiscus-Wash-13/dp/B005C2NBKC/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1408284087&sr=8-2&keywords=shea+moisture+body+wash

So that's the scoop!
Thanks again California Silver Sister. I appreciate your support and readership so much!

Hope you're having anise weekend!
xoxoxox,
Lauren

Mrs. G said...

Lauren, I'm just curious. How long ago did you start the process of growing out your hair? I realize it will take some time but the suspense is killing me..LOL.

Thanks!
Lynne

Lauren said...

Hiya Lynne!

Oh I know! I know! The suspense during my "grow-out" was driving me crazy too! :)

I started growing out my hair about....three years ago I think. But here's the thing, my hair grows rather slowly, so everybody will have a different experience. I hope your hair grows quickly! It's sooooooo worth the wait though. I only wish I would have stopped with the hair dye sooner! :)

I would say it took me about 6 months to start feeling better about my new gray hair. Within a year I think I was feeling more normal about the way things looked. It just takes time, but really, I've know some wonderful women who had short-ish hair and transitioned in just about 6 months or so. It was fast!

I hope this helps Lynne. You can do it!!!
xoxoxox,
Lauren :)

Mary said...

Lauren-- I love your blog! I started going grey when I was six years old. No joke. and I never dyed it until my freshman year of college when my roommate said my hair "looked weird." I just celebrated my 32nd birthday, and I counted it up-- I have been dying my hair every 6 weeks for 14 years!!!! I have wanted to stop for so long, but the transition always seemed so difficult. Underneath my dyed hair I am about 60% silver already. Which is thrilling and SCARY.

Thank you thank you thank you for writing so honestly about this and putting yourself out there so the rest of us younger silver ladies have a guide through this very strange emotionally turbulent process.

Brenda said...

Hi Lauren!

I've been reading your blog for awhile and really love your comments and encouragement on going gray. I decided to do it myself about a year and a half ago and never looked back. Those awkward times when it was growing out were challenging, but I'm so glad I stuck to it and saw it through. People like you who blazed the trail before me are the reason I think I was successful. Thanks so much for what you do!! The vlog was wonderful! :)

Take care,
Brenda :)

Lauren said...

Hi Mary!!!!

Oh Mary, gray hair since you were SIX!? (>'-')>
Wow, that is so incredible. It's interesting that you didn't think much of it until somebody else said something. I feel like we are all so open minded until the media or other people plant a seed of doubt. A lot of time others mean well, but there is something so great about a person being free to be their own, unique self!

Thank you for you heartfelt comment. I'm so glad that you're here. You were exactly right about this being an emotionally turbulent ride. Just today, even THREE years after going gray, I was feeling down and shed a few tears about looking so different. It's ok though, silver is a GREAT color, right!? :)

Mary, I know this might sound funny, but it is fabulous that you're 60% gray! Really. From my experience, when women have a lot of gray, that solid, almost "sheet" of silver that grows, in can be just so pretty! I think you will like it a lot. You'll do great!

In the meantime, I'm here for ya! :)
Thank you so much for sharing. It's nice to meet you. Hang in there!!!
xoxoxo,
Lauren

Lauren said...

Ahhhh!!!! Brenda! Brenda!

Thank you SO much! Your comment just made me smile ear to ear! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you said. I am thrilled that I could help you and anyone else through this blog a little. Honestly though, you guys help me too! :)

When I began to grow my gray hair I felt very alone, so writing was easy because I thought nobody was around to listen. Little did I know that there are so many like us! I can't tell you what a joy it's been that we all come together and share.

Congrats on getting through your transition! That's fabulous and take a lot of determination and bravery too. :)
I hope you're loving your gray and the new you!

Thank you again Brenda. Your comment just made my day! So nice to meet you and thank you for reading along. It means more than I can say.

You take care too!
xoxoxoxo,
Lauren

Y SS said...

Hi Lauren,
Happy first video! Yay! Your voice is so cute!
I have a shock of gray (pure white against my black Asian hair) and I part it in such a way that I have gray going down both sides around my face. I am often asked if they are "natural or dyed?" Other comments I get are... I remind others of "Rogue from X'men" and "Pepe Le Pew." It is what it is...it's part of me! I'll also say "So be it!"
Looking forward to your next video. Cheers! YSS aka Yu

Lauren said...

Hi again Yu!!!!

WOW, that's awesome, you are an X-Men character! I like that one! :)
I think Pepe Le Pew is cute! Thanks for sharing your comments. I love your attitude of it's what it is, part of you. That's so great. Thanks for reminding me an excellent way to think!

Thank you for your cheer and support about the video Yu! So nice to "chat!"
xoxoxoxoxo,
Lauren :)

Carolyn said...

Lauren,

More vlogs please!! From reading you posts religiously I feel like I know you and seeing/hearing you is like watching a far-away friend after a long absence...

AT 33 I'm trying to commit to growing out my 50%+ white and so far have only told my mom and one friend, both of whom have been very understanding if not supportive. I'm nervous about the comments I may get after a few missed touch=ups and even more nervous about the comments people will be making behind my back.

Your blog has been such an inspiration and motivation for me. There is so little info or support out there for us young silver sisters and reading your posts, as well as all the comments from other young readers, helps me feel like I've got a support system out there and maybe I really can "survive" this transition!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

Carolyn

Lauren said...

Dear Carolyn,

Awwww. Your comment was so sweet! Hello new far away friend!!! (>'-')>
I'll be part of your support system gladly! :)

Thank you so much for reading and for you super nice words about the vlog. Ok, I'll do more! This week my family and I are having a little "staycation". Then Noah is off of school for another week and a half. I'll do my best to blog or vlog more as soon as I can!

Carolyn, I know how scary it can be when you first venture out with you gray roots. I TOTALLY remember having the same fears that you do. I think that telling my friends and family helped them to not be surprised as my roots became more and more obvious. And it certainly cut down on any not-so-great comments. I too worried about what strangers and other people would say behind my back. It's hard! :(
The best thing you can do though, is remember that being your own unique self is a great thing! We can never please everyone, in anything that we do in life. I think you'll be surprised to find that many many many more people will say nice, positive things about your gray hair, than negative. Really! It sounds crazy, but it happens!

In the meantime, you hang in there friend! :)
I'm here for ya! I'll be sending lots of brave thoughts and " fast growing hair luck" your way!

Thank you for such a great comment and for coming by!!!
xoxoxoox,
Lauren :)

Mrs. G said...

After reading Carolyn's post I have a funny story to share. I've told a lot of people that I'm growing out my gray hair. Most people I see regularly know, some don't. There's this guy at work who has been freelancing for us a few days a week. We get along great, he's in his early 30s I think, like the little brother I never had ...lol. He's also into death metal, tats, piercings, etc.

Also NEVER afraid to say what's on his mind. You may see where this is going...

He comes to me one day and says, "hey, what's going on with your hair"? I ask, "Why". He says, "You got a LOT going on up there, blonde, brown.. I tell him I'm growing out the gray. He says, "Really, that's %#!@$ AWESOME!" And gives me a fist bump.

So there ARE some people out there who will support you! Lol. Needless to say I felt great, even with the calico colors going on. Hang in there! It will be so worth it!
Lynne

Lauren said...

Lynne,

THAT IS A FABULOUS STORY!!!! Ha! It had me smiling ear to ear and picturing the scenario as I read along. TOO FANTASTIC! :)

Yep! You never know where and when you're going to find your greatest supporters!

What a great story. Thank you, thank you for your bravery in sharing!

Hope you're having a wonderful week Lynne. :)
xoxoxo,
Lauren

Christine Fiedler said...

Hello Lauren and all you other glorious gray-haired girls out there in the world,

Have you all realized that not just anybody can grow their hair gray???? Oh no, only select people on the planet are given the gift of gray. Maybe those that can't, or those that don't dare to take the plunge into Graydom are a little envious of our glistening locks and fierce acts of bravery. After all, it does take a considerable amount of confidence and patience to wait out the many months of growing in your gray mane to the length and style you want to achieve. Isn't it a remarkable evolution though? Like me, I imagine that many of you often spend minutes in front of the mirror checking to see what's new "up there".

Have you also ever noticed that little kids don't care one whit about the whiteness of your hair? They know nothing of being judgmental about a person's skin colour let alone someone's hair colour. They only know what we teach them. So far, not one child has ever said to me, "don't you think it's time for a dye job?". It's why I personally enjoy the refreshing dose of innocence and acceptance I get whenever I'm in the presence of happy little ones.

Perhaps it's simply best for those of us who are confronted with "graytred" from time to time to respond with kindness and tolerance and to remember that there is an entire sisterhood of us "grayngels" reading this blog, staying strong, carrying on and waiting for the next episode of How Bourgeois.

Nice new touch with the vlog Lauren. I vote that it becomes a regular quarterly feature. Maybe you could call it the "Off the Top of My Head" series.

I'll stop the goofiness now....promise.

Another Grayteful Gray-haired Canadian Girl (sorry, couldn't resist)

Christine from Oakville, Ontario

Lauren said...

Dear My Fabulous, Wonderful , Beautiful, Kind-Hearted, HILARIOUS Canadian Silver Sister Christine!!!!!

I'm sooooo joyed and happy to receive your lovely, entertaining and well thought out comment. AND, I am sooooo sorry that my reply comes to you this later! This week Jon has taken off work for a wee mini-family vacation, and I have not been online very much. All of this said, you comment just made me smile and laugh and go: "yeah! Christine is so right!" :)

Oh yes, we a a VERY lucky, select few, who have the patience to let our silvery silver sloooooowly grow out. Inch by tiny inch, right!? I think we all need to pat ourselves on the back for having such patience.

And, just like you said, kids don't care at all! In fact, one child said that I had silvery PRINCESS HAIR! Now isn't that great! Princess hair! :)

Thank you for your support and encouragement about the "vlog" Christine! And ALWAYS! In fact just the other day I was mentioning a certain wonderful magazine that I received from a certain wonderful, caring friend! <3
Oh, and I love "Off the Top of My Head!" HA!!! That was great! :)

With Lots of Love,
xoxoxoox,
Lauren

IrishMeg012 said...

Hi Lauren! I came across your blog in a search for how to grow out gray hair, and I'm so glad I did. Love your other stuff too. It's great how people connect over the smallest similarities; that's what's so great about a blog.
Anywho, I'm a few months into growing out a pixie cut.There is still some color in there...like a couple inches. What are your thoughts on color remover--it's supposed to help restore hair to its natural color...in my case, gray. I know there are color strippers that will remove color as a whole from your hair, but I would use the remover. Probably blend it to help bring some of the gray through. What do you think?

Jenny said...

You look so YOUNG. Not that you didn't before, but seeing you in "action", you really do! (totally intended as a compliment! :)

Loved the vlog and hope you do more!!

Anyway, as I have commented before, I stopped coloring back in December, and just very recently I am having trouble with it and almost went back to the dye! My biggest problem is I seem to have two big streaks of gray/white and the rest is still brown, so I am not sure how it looks. People I have asked say it's fine, but you still wonder, kwim?

So, your blog is helping me remain strong! I am so tempted to cut it short to see if that helps, but I guess I am too nervous that I have the wrong face shape.

I'm rambling, so I will sign off now.

Denise Walker said...

Good morning my sister in silver! Yes, grey is a trend right now. But you are so naturally beautiful....and your grey compliments your makeup, your style, everything about you. I just love it on you, and am taking lots of visual cues from you as my hair grows out. So, two things: (1) best comment received (so far) - "grey hair is sexy. seriously." and (2) Do you have a foam in color to recommend for applying while growing out? I have tried "Roux" brand, with mixed results.....

Lauren said...

Hi Meg!!!

WELCOME! Thank you so much for your nice comment and for a great question! I know, it's amazing what brings people together, right? Now I have a whole group of "silver sisters" that I never had before. Glad you could joint us!

Congrats on your latest adventure. It sounds like you are already well on your way!
So color remover.... honestly, I am embarrassed to admit that I know so little about it. Like almost nothing. :(
I'm glad that you're not going to go the route of stripping your hair. I know how harsh that can be. Once, many years ago, I accidentally dyed my hair much much too dark. It actually came out a dull black color because the dark brown hair dye soaked into my damaged hair. I had to have the color stripped and the process just fried my hair. It wasn't great.

Anyway! Here's my two cents.... one of my favorite things about my gray hair, is that my hair is 1,000 times softer and healthier than my old, dyed hair. So, my first suggestion is if you are really comfortable with the thought of not removing any color and just waiting it out, you'll be left with SUPER healthy hair! That is what I ended up doing. It was really hard sometimes, but once you get through it, it's all just a memory. :)

On the other hand, I've see some women with beautiful highlights and lowlights that their stylists wove into their hair, helping to blend the gray in a but. This would be an option too.

If you go the color remover route, please let us know how it goes! I'm really curious! With color remover, my only advice would be to visit a salon to have it done, instead of at home. I know there are at home kits, but I would think even color remover has the potential to be a bit harsh.

I hope this helps Meg. I'm so sorry, I wish that I had more info for you. If I hear anything else about color remover and gray hair, I'll be sure to let you know!

Thank you again for your sweet comment. So nice to meet you! xoxoxox, Lauren

Lauren said...

Hi Jenny! Hi Jenny! :)
You're not rambling at all! I'm so glad that you've stopped by again, and I'm also happy to hear that the blog has helped. Thank you for saying that, it's so nice and sweet of you.

I can completely relate with the times when you just feel unsure about the whole gray thing. Yes! I had it easy though, because I really had little choice because of my allergy to dye. So, I respect my silver sisters who are growing out their hair but could easily use hair dye.

Hmmm..... here's my two cents Jenny.... if you have reasons for growing out your gray hair that are important and meaningful to you, please hang in there! It takes time to get used to a new look, whether you have two streaks of gray or a head full of gray! It just takes time to grow and to become accustomed to.

On the other hand, if you are growing out your gray because you are curious and you could go either way, gray or not gray, then you really just need to follow your heart in regard to whether or not you like your gray streaks. Weighing the pros and cons of being dye-free helps too!

I know that I write a blog about gray hair, and I know that I have gray hair myself, but I'm a pretty moderate person. I don't believe that one-size-fits-all in anything! I'm a vegetarian, but I don't push other to give up meat. Same for gray hair, I see it as such a personal choice.

Ack! Sorry, now I'M rambling! :)

Jenny, your two sections of white hair, do they look really neat when you pull them back? Have you tried a braid? I'm just imaging them look super cool!

Oh! And also, for what it is worth, I too thought that my face shape couldn't pull off a short hair cute, but in the end, I loved it! Your stylist could help. I feel like there is a short cut for every face! :)

Hang in there Jenny. I'm thinking of you and sending "Go Jenny! You can do it!" cheer your way!
xoxoxoxooxo,
Lauren :)

Lauren said...

Hi Denise! Hi friend! :)

Denise, thank you so much! You are incredibly sweet.
I know, I always laugh when I heard about the gray hair dye "trend!" WOW! Pretty cool! :)

I LOVE your comment. Gray hair IS sexy! Right! Once a man told me that. I didn't believe him at first, but that was back in the old days, when I first started growing my hair. Now I believe it!

I used Roux's foam too! I'm sorry that your results weren't great. Was it a little washed out looking? Honestly, I never ended up trying any other foam color. I know there are washes, but I was afraid that they would stain my white hair. The last thing you want is dull whites! I did like Roux's "Tween Time" touch up crayon, but crayons can be waxy and once you have a certain length of growth, that's a lot of "color" to do on your roots. Bumble and Bumble makes that powder spray. It comes in several colors. That worked for special occasions.

If I'm being honest though, it just might be a little rough for a while. Lots of pretty hats and scarves and headbands my friend! :) And play around with hair styles that break up the areas of new growth.

I promise promise, if I come across any new type of product that is helpful in the grow out, I promise to let you and everyone know. It's tough. Everything I tried was "ok", but nothing was super.

Please hang in there. The grow out really does become just a memory soon. I know this can be really difficult to live with on your head for a while, the two-tone hair, but it is so worth it in the end.

Thinking of you Denise!!! Thank you for coming by!!!
xoxoxoxoxoxo,
Lauren :)

Jane Ashton said...

Hi Lauren,

I loved your vlog :). You are on my list of inspirational grey haired women. I don't have an allergy to dye, but I have health issues and want to be as "clean" as I can, plus the maintainence was getting to me - every 2/3 weeks - nor did I like the look of the re growth OR the way the dye would fade and leave my dark ash brown hair an orangey brown. I shaved mine off (dyed hair) which was extreme (I have already mentioned this in another post somewhere!) and I days of regret - it's not pretty (to me, no offence to others going around with short spiky hair). My children DON'T think I have princess hair and my 7 year old daughter has pleaded with me not to be grey "like a granny". I am 40 and my hair still has lots of dark so it's more salt and pepper - not sure if this is as pretty as yours - plus, you look very young in the face and as another reader said, your makeup, colouring and clothes all suit your hair and you look stunning. I don't feel I will pull it off as well as you, but I still think you are an inspiration :)
Jane in Australia x

Lauren said...

Dear Jane,

Oh Jane, you are phenomenally brave and fantastic! You are stronger than you know! \(^-^)/
To have the courage to shave your hair, that's HUGE! If you have the bravery to do that, this whole gray thing will be a piece of cake!

Thank you so much from my heart for your kind words about the blog and the vlog and my hair. The thing is, we're all unique and we all bring our unique selves to the table. Looks and all. There are days when I look at my hair and then look at my gray inspirations and think: "My gray is so dull, it's yellowed. I can never look so silvery and glowing like my inspirations that I see on Pinterest." What I'm saying is that we ALL doubt ourselves, our gray, our versions of gray.

If I had not been allergic to hair dye, I am certain that in a matter of just a short time, I would have also just given up coloring my hair, like you, to try to be as "clean" as possible, away from chemicals. I think this is a very important reason. I really do. So, for all the strife and worry about the gray, you are still, on the flip-side, doing such good things for your body. That's important.

I'm so sorry that your seven year old doesn't think you have princess hair. I understand. My son was wary at first. I think it takes time for everyone, yourself included, to get used to the new look, the new salt and pepper. In my experience hair style, length, it can make a HUGE impact on how the gray is perceived. So play around and have fun and find a look that makes you feel great!
Also, I feel like when I explained to my family and friends why I was going to stop coloring my hair, for the allergy and to avoid monthly chemicals, they then really began to understand and support me.

Jane, I think you sound AWESOME. I'm here giving you a big high-five and a hug and sending so much admiration and good thoughts your way. Please hang in there. Hopefully in time things will normalize and everybody will like the new look, you included!!!
xoxoxox,
Lauren :)

Janet said...

Hi Lauren, you are just so adorable and I'm a huge fan of your hair. I believe I commented a few months ago on one of your other gray hair blog posts. I'm 35 & live in Australia. I started going gray at 18 and have always covered it up. I got sick of colouring my hair constantly & my sensitive scalp didn't much like the hair dye either!

So about 3 months ago I stopped dyeing my hair & thought I'd try growing out my natural colour. I have about an inch of roots showing right now, which is HUGE for me cause I always hated having roots showing! My hairdresser put some highlights in which helps blend the roots a lot. I also have wavy/curly hair, which hides a multitude of hair sins!

My gray roots are very shiny and silvery. In some lights almost platinum blonde looking! Around my face seems to be almost 100% gray, and it mixes with more of my dark blonde colour towards the back of my head. Most importantly, I like how my natural colour looks! It's so shiny and it suits me! Obviously with only one inch of regrowth it's hard to say how it'll look all grown out, but so far I like my soft silvery strands a lot!

I'm off to the salon tomorrow for a few more highlights for blending in, and to get a trim - lose some of my old damaged ends. I'm really excited about seeing my natural hair coming through - I wish I could post a picture for you! You've been so inspiring, I've told lots of my friends about your blog. Thanks again for all the support you share online. - Janet

Lauren said...

Hi Janet!!!!

Oh you are so sweet. Thank you , thank you, thank you for your kind words and all of that encouragement! I am so glad that we've found each other. This is how you get through all the difficult parts of having gray hair, by sharing!

Janet, i have to say that your hair sounds absolutely FABULOUS and it also sounds like you're doing great! I would LOVE to see your hair and I'm sure so many others would too!
By any chance are you on Facebook? If so, you could share on our How Bourgeois Facebook page if you feel comfortable with that! Here is the link: https://www.facebook.com/HowBourgeois

If that doesn't work, you could also email me anytime at HowBourgeois@gmail.com

I think your appointment tomorrow sounds so nice. it's the best feeling getting old ends taken off and the highlights will be great!

Thank you again for your encouragement and thank you so much for sharing How Bourgeois too! :)
xoxoxoxoxo