Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Sluuuuuuurg.

Sluuuuuurg, splooosh, splorsh..... that's how I feel. Kind of like a slug. An overwhelmed, over-committed slug, who has finally and most definitely hit a wall. That's it. I'm done. Time to make life changes! Time to set boundaries, time to say "No", turn off the phone and TAKE BACK MY LIFE! When slugs hit walls, I think they just continue onward and proceed to crawl UP the wall. So, I'm going to keep going, but on my own terms this time.

This has been by far the busiest year of my life. Busier than any point in school, busier than the time I got married, busier than the year I had Noah. It was just simply put....WAY TOO busy. I hated it. It MADE. ME. CRAZY that I didn't have time to get what I needed to done. It wasn't one thing, it was a bunch of small and medium sized things all added up together, that equalled no real amounts of solid time to get anything done. I can't keep up with that pace anymore.

It was also nobody's fault except mine. I couldn't say "No" and over-estimated what I was able to take on. I didn't want to let people down, I wanted to please, I thought turning down party invites and lunch dates and coffees would be anti-social. I thought failing to volunteer would be school-spiritless.

I'm an introvert and that means needing a lot of quiet downtime. Learning to sometimes politely turn down giant, loud social events (my idea of the opposite of fun) is an art that I must learn. I also have ADHD and need to better manage the interruptions from phone calls, texts,and emails. With ADHD, when you're interrupted, it's not stop-start-stop-start. It's stop- START OVER- stop-START OVER. I'm never going to get anything done!

I really need to pull away for a bit, buckle down and focus. There's so much to do on the home front, like getting this house renovation done! There is so much that goes into completely renovating a 145 year old house, both inside and out. I also need to pack our current house up and move it, and then after that, I need to decorate our new home. It's exhausting just thinking about it.

I also really really like, and find satisfaction in doing my current main "job": being a Mom and a housewife. I know it sounds completely archaic and backwards, but there's something so lovely and fulfilling about creating a dinner and serving it to your family, or to shine up your kitchen sink all sparkly and clean. It's fulfilling to me. I like to feather my nest! (My God, am I really saying all of this?)

Over the past two months, I've meant to blog so many things. Mostly about the renovation. But, I've just been really overwhelmed. Hopefully things will get better, open up now that school's out for the summer and I'll see you around here more often.

I feel incredibly grateful every single day that we're having the adventure that we are. Life is amazing, and I'm learning it's all about attitude, intention and balance!

xo


On a less overwhelming note.....WOW! Check out our wonderful, giant, puffy, Wisteria covered, crazy jungle-like pergola.





It's really quite amazing. Even on the hottest of hot days, like the 96 degrees two weeks ago, the air under the shady pergola is cool and breezy. Like natural A/C!
My plans include a large, rustic wooden table to eat upon, and lots of of chairs for friends. Perhaps some hanging glass lanterns in purples and pinks or a string of lights that will twinkle in the night. Next to the pergola, on the lower patio, a nice little conversation area, and if city code permits, a chiminea!

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