Yea me! Today was the last day of taking 25mg of my Zoloft everyday. 12mg, here I come! I finally talked my doctor into letting me try to wean off the Zoloft. He's really pro antidepressants, but as I've been feeling more like normal and don't love putting chemicals in my body so much, I wanted to try to stop taking old Z. I am still anxious, but nothing like before. I have my good days and bad days, but doesn't every tired Mom?
So here's my question...I have 50mg pills. I've been cutting them in half with my pill slicer, but how do you cut them in quarters!? I need to take about 12mg's for a couple of weeks, and then I stop. Should I just use a knife and scrape away 12mg's from a 25mg half? Hmm...perplexing, at least to me...
So far so good. I've weaned down very slowly, over 3 months. We did it this way so I wouldn't have withdrawl side effects and so I could keep an eye on how I was feeling emotionally. I'm a little scared that tomorrow I will start to feel yucky as my doctor said 12mg's is a point I might feel flu like...maybe. I guess 30% of people do. You know what though, I'm so ready and I haven't had problems before, so I think I will be feel fine.
As this chapter in my life wraps up and I go on to the next, I really wonder how I ever got caught up in this whole "antidepressant" thing. I never thought I would be a person who had to take them. I've always worried and honestly, my doctor thinks I have had low grade depression since I was a kid. Maybe she's right, maybe not. She said that after we talked about being made fun of at school every single day and the divorce. Regardless though, I never thought I would need help from drugs. I thought I would have Noah and it would be magical and happy. I never imagined my pregnancy would be a mental hell and the first 6 months of Noah's life would be lived in secret, solitary fear. I'm so glad to have survived this. It made me stronger. I still need to stop obsessing about my tonsils and death and germs and what other people think about me and about Noah and Jon. That stuff will come next, step by step. But for now, thank you Zoloft, you helped me out a little. I really hope you didn't damage my cerebral cortex 30 years down the line, but thanks for trying.