Thursday, April 20, 2017

It's Ok NOT to Be Gray

There is supposed to be a short video that I made right here. ↑ (You can see my new haircut!) For some reason though, Blogger's video platform is malfunctioning at the moment. Until the new video gets up, or even just because, please run over to How Bourgeois' Facebook page to see the video and join in more How Bourgeois fun! πŸ˜ƒ

Hi Silver Sister! Long-time- no see! I just wanted to pop in an have a super quick, little chat with you. Just something that came to mind and I wanted to share!

For as long as I've been blogging about going gray, I've received regular emails from fellow silver sisters about the trials and tribulations of growing out our hair. Often these emails made me feel sad because the sweet women writing me were themselves sad. Some didn't love their newly gray hair and were unsure of what to do. Some felt terrible guilt for deciding to color their hair after a time of growing it out. There has been a lot of talk of being a "failure" over "just not being able to do it." 

I want to tell you, although I often sit here and cheer on the "Silver Sister," I hold just as much respect, admiration and love for all of our Silver Sisters who just happen to be silver underneath their brunette, blond, black and red hair. It's true! It is absolutely, 100% ok to just be the version of YOU, that works the best for YOU! 😊

In fact, I often find myself responding to these emails with the truth- the truth that, if my gray hair had grown out all those years ago, and I didn't like it enough, I'd be searching to the ends of the earth for a brown hair dye that I wasn't allergic to. I'd still be brunette today!

So, gray or not, short hair, long hair, no hair, it's all ok. Go easy on yourself know that you are great just the way you are. πŸ’–

Until next time!


Viola said...

Lauren, you're great! I came upon your blog years ago when I decided at 33 to stop coloring my hair. I went through the long process, like you, of growing it out and hearing a barrage of comments. Sadly, many were unsupportive and indifferent at best. I kept the silver going for fours years and recently felt the urge for a change and decided to color again. I felt the guilt (some days still do), the doubt, and the whole gamut of feelings, but overall realized it IS ok to want to color your hair--or not. It's all up to the individual. Thanks so much for making that important point. Keep being your wonderful self! :D

Anonymous said...
She's been doing some inspiring posts recently about going natural. Thought you might enjoy. #inspiration -beth

Unknown said...

Lauren, have never left a comment, but saw your blog years ago when I was contemplating growing out my hair. I started dyeing at 39 (more from work insecurities than vanity), but then found it almost impossible to stop. Finally got my last permanent dye job on retiring 20 years later, but found that, like many of your readers, temporary color I used for transitioning wasn't washing out. Lost a year on that, then just stopped four summers ago. That first summer, I'd wear a cap for gardening and running to the store, and a crayon for outings when a hat wouldn't do. Powered through till November, when a baseball cap with a winter coat looked silly. Your posts were supportive, but what helped me the rest of the way were a series of articles in More magazine, on a business woman who got her hair streaked in stages with increasingly more highlights and lowlights. While this person continued with her high-priced salon services, I wanted to get off the salon go-round as well, so I printed the articles (there were four in all), and dropped them off at my colorist. I told him I wanted to this, but - I wanted the highlights/lowlights to be done all at once, that I wasn't going to maintain the color, but simply wanted a less glaring difference between the old color and the skunk stripe, and to put ::very:: minimal streaks in the grown out gray.
My colorist, whom I'd had for 20 years, knew he was losing a monthly customer, but still honored my wishes, and did a great job - all the other hairdressers crowded around when he was done to admire the job (which he researched for several weeks before he attempted).
I now go in just 3-4 times a year for a haircut and the colored glaze you suggested (this has been hit or miss - it has not helped with frizz as much as I hoped, and the most recent one came out with a more pinkish than lavender cast).
But the combination of your supportive posts and this transition procedure (since taken off the More site - anyone interested can find some of the pictures that ran in the stories by doing searches on Elizabeth Kubany on Pinterest) really helped me over the hump, though I know it would be harder for someone who is still working and has to be business-ready every day. For those, they might want to formulate a game plan with their colorist for doing the highlights from the get-go.
Even if you color your own hair, I think this is worth saving up to get done professionally, as it makes the transition so much easier.
That, and purple shampoo. : )

Anonymous said...

Yahoooooooooooo !! You're back. I hope you had a wonderful summer. I love Fall too.
I'm doing a happy dance. From one of the many silver sisters that adore your blog.