Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Is Managing Your Hair Style Making Your Gray Hair Unhealthy, or Worse, Falling Out!?

Hi Silver Sisters, it's Lauren from September 2018!  I have the most amazing update for you - my husband Jon and I have launched our very own hair care line!  I have learned so much on my gray journey, and our new products incorporate all of my "tips and tricks" for making silver hair look terrific.  I am leaving all prior recommendations in place because I hope that they will continue to be helpful to people, and I will continue to use and enjoy many of the products that I have written about in the past. My opinions still stand on them. 

I hope that you will take a look at our new line By The Way, Your Hair Looks Fabulous!™  - it is a complete line of hair-care and styling products made especially for Silver Sisters AND for anyone who wants their hair care to be more natural and more affordable! 

- - 

Helloooooooooooo my sweet, wonderful gray- haired readers! Each and every one of you, with your beautiful comments and your words of support and cheer, means SOOOOOOOOO much to me! :)

It's been a while since I've posted. Oh, how I wish I had more blogging time on my hands. None-the-less, it's great to be plucking away at the keyboard when I can.

Today I come to you with a gray hair question..... Is managing your hair style making your gray hair unhealthy, or worse, falling out!?

In the picture above, you may or may not notice that my hair is not in its usual straight style, and I'll tell you why. This is kind of embarrassing, but a few weeks ago, my husband noticed that my hair part (I've parted it in the same place for a couple of years now), might have looked more.....well, obvious than before? It wasn't wide or looking sparse, it was just something subtle and we really didn't know if we were imagining it or not. Maybe it was the fact that I was wearing my hear pulled back in a tight ponytail, who knows, but at any rate, I was a little worried.   I quickly parted my hair in a new place, and it looked just fine, normal as ever. 

This got me thinking though, that I do have a lot of hair breakage where I part my hair, from my daily attempts to wrestle my grays into a sleek and hopefully shiny do. Was I causing the hair around my part to REALLY break or come out more than I realized!? I think the answer is "Yes."  :(

While thinning hair in women can be caused by a host of problems, such as stress, hormones, illness, etc.... the area in question with me (that I MIGHT just be imagining) is only at the section where I part my hair, so I think this is truly from my daily hair torture I mean hair styling. Don't get me wrong though, my hypochondria COMPLETELY came out on this one, and I was quick to run through the list of scary causes, and panic about each one accordingly.

I came to the whole "Gray Hair Game" with the preconceived idea that: In order for MY gray hair to look nice, it had to be worn straight as possible.

Do you hold a silly belief like this too? I know that this can't be right, but for whatever reason, when I see myself as straight-haired and gray, I feel much younger and prettier, than curly or wavy haired and gray. This is my own issue to get over, but I feel like it has cost me a lot of time, money and  healthy hair!

I've been spending the past two years doing a bunch of daily,  big hair "No- No's" in the quest for silky, straight hair.  First there is combing the tangles out when my hair is wet, and even worse, draaaaaaaaging and pulling a big round brush through, while wet, using the dryer on HOT! That was usually followed by hot rollers, and then THAT was even followed by a flat iron or a large barrel curling iron! Oh my gosh, my poor hair! What have I done!?  :(  

And you know what? Can you guess where I always focused? The frizzy area around my part, the top of my head, the place with all the broken hair! UGH! Then I would smooth product onto my hair and pullllllll, or put everything into a tight ponytail and smooooooth. No wonder my usual part might be looking different.

I regretfully say, I think it might be time to give my hair a rest. I'm so sorry hair, I really am. :(
While I've been using gentle, sulfate-free products most of the time, and also a cream that protects from heat, I know that I've really been over-doing it. EVERY DAY.

How about you?
Now that you've gone gray, do you feel more pressure to wear a clean-looking, "tailored" style?  If so, is it effecting the health of your hair?

We girls, (and guys!) have enough pressure these days to look the way the media says that we should. I suppose having the right hair style, let alone color, is just another item on the list. I've gotten over the hair dye, maybe now I can finally learn to accept my sometimes curly, sometimes wavy, alway messy, big old head of hair. 

I'd love to hear your experience or thoughts on what makes for a nice gray hair style. Until next time!!!!



Tiffany said...

Hi Lauren
I have a keratin straightening treatment....it lasts for ages and takes the frizz out of my hair, leaving it really well conditioned.......can't recommend it enough!
X Tiff

Lauren said...

Hi Tiffany! Thanks for stopping by and for your comment!

Oh I have always wanted a keratin treatment. They make hair look soooooo gorgeous. I guess I've just been too lazy, and I was scared off by the formaldehyde scare with the early keratin systems.

A friend of mine gets regular treatments and it makes her hair look so silk and shiny.
I am "trying" to embrace my wavy/curly hair at the moment, but I'm sure sooner or later, I'll want to wear it straight again!

Thank you for the suggestion!!!

Wendi L. said...

Just embarking on my journey, but so, so very happy to find your blog!!! Thank you!

Lauren said...

Hi "unknown" commenter!

I'm so glad that you're here. Good luck as you just start out. I promise, it will get easier and easier as you go. I think you will love the results!!!!

Take care, and please come back for a visit soon!
Lauren :)

Hilario said...


Kara said...

Ugh, yes. I'm about 15 months into growing out my grays and I've been styling my hair as I always have - blowdrying with a giant round brush and then curling afterward. My hair has always been naturally curly, but after 2 kids and growing out my gray, the texture is really inconsistent so air-drying gets hilarious results.

A couple of weeks ago I noticed the grays around my face starting to yellow a bit. Then one morning a 3 inch lock of hair fell as I was drying. That's right. I'd singed off a big chunk right around my face.

So I've realized I've been cooking my hair, basically. I've changed my shampoo and conditioner to John Frieda Flawlessly Straight shampoo and conditioner to help even out the curl texture, and I've been twisting my hair up with a barrette and letting it air dry as long as possible. When I use the hair dryer, I wait until my hair is just barely damp and then dry on the medium heat setting and then follow with a blast of cool to help set the curl. I threw my curling iron away. I also bought some of that V05 hairdressing stuff you recommended. I'm going to try that and see if it helps the brittleness if I can get past the smell.

I've got about 3 inches of old color left to cut off (except for that chunk I fried off). I didn't brave the pixie and have kept it shoulder length the whole time. At 43, I was a little afraid of coming off like Carol in the Walking Dead. But I may do a chin-length bob soon to get the last of it gone.

Thank you so much for sharing your journey. Whenever I would feel down about my growing out hair, or be tempted to just give up and color it, I would come by here and read a few posts to remind me that there's light at the end of the tunnel. :)

Suzanne said...

I am happy to have found you. I'm 42 and i hate diying my hair. I have very dark brown hair and always loved it. Been diying for about 7 years now and everytime i try going gray, i feel older and i get a lot of pressure to go back to brown. I'm also worried about the color palette of my clothes. Will i change palette all of a sudden. I love my bold red, green, and so on. So many questions . I will read your blog with pleasure to get more support. Thanks for getting out there and stretching a helping hand

Mrs. Roots said...

I know this post is old but here's my two cents. I've seen many lovely, romantic heads of curly and wavy-haired silver and gray ladies! I think your curls are lovely!

Just like there's an embrace your gray movement happening, there's also an embrace your curls movement. Both wonderful movements because the underlying message is the same: it's okay to be natural and be yourself!

Last, with going gray becoming more popular, there is a propensity for some (not all) folks to exalt or romanticize long, straight white or gray hair over curly/wavy hair. That needs to stop. Gray beauty has many faces and textures.