I've been trying to meditate recently, to relax, let go of anxiety and to connect more with my "Inner self". It wasn't long before I realized that 1100 sq.feet + loud toddler + talkative husband does not = meditation. So, last week I ventured out and joined a meditation group and you know, in some odd way, it was amazing. While yes, it was almost agonizingly painful for me to hold my body and mouth perfectly still for 25 minutes, I got to meet great people, including a grandmother named "Lotus" and someone with a license plate that essentially read:"We are all one". I ask you how, like seriously, HOW? awesome is all of that? I am so going back this week to tap into some of that "positive cosmic energy", if you know what I mean. People, I have found my people! The best part is, is that I know what to wear this time! Last week I was all worried. I knew that I should wear something comfortable, but didn't want to show up all cliche' in a kaftan or anything. People just wore clothes, normal, clothes.
I've been doing some reading lately in hopes of answering a bunch of esoteric questions running through my mind; why are humans here, what are we alive for? Is life more than pain and joy and tests? What happens when we die? Are we essentially alone or together as souls? What's up with religion and science and everything in between? Where do I fit in, what do I really believe, who am I beyond what I can only see? It was all getting me down.
I have read 10,000 books on the Beatles and John Lennon and now, can safely say most any Beatles question I have had, has been answered. With each new book I've read in the past months on the questions posted above, I have come closer to forming what for me, seems to be a truth. Books like "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle and "Life after Death; The Burden of Proof" by Deepak Chopra have really helped to sum up things I've believed all along.
Essentially I suppose, these beliefs would be that all living things have an inner energy/soul/spirit and this basic energy is part of a whole which could be God if you like, a higher power of some kind, or just a vast energy field for those of the scientific mind. The bottom line, this inner-self transcends religion,space and time. It doesn't matter who you are or what you subscribe to, we are all part of humanity, we are all one.
I don't want to get too preachy or deep. That's just the beauty of this stuff, there is room for everyone. It's very humbling, when people strip down the house and nice clothes, the make-up. Let go for a moment from religious or scientific beliefs and affiliations. Take away the mind cluttered with daily "to-do's" and the judgments we make upon our neighbors. You take the egocentric mind for a rest and all you are left with is the real you, the pure, simple you, the soul, the spirit, the basic energy that connects us with each other and with whom or what created it all. I like that.
And now I will admit I just ate another bag of microwave popcorn. (I had the other for lunch). Hmm..how will my karma fare for that?