I haven't for a while and I'm not quite sure why. I guess it's for a number of reasons. Being busy, the nice weather calling me outside, and frankly, as Suburban Bliss would say, the internet has been in a foul mood lately.
I'm back, I haven't gone anywhere, I'm here.
Nothing is too new. Noah and I have been taking long walks with the stroller into town. We go to play at the park in the center of town and then we get a cold drink for the walk home. It's a lot of fun and a good, almost three mile walk if you stroll around downtown for a while.
I've been kind of stressed by Noah recently. He cracks me up and I love that he is becoming more and more verbal. It's just these new temper tantrums that are exhausting me. They come on suddenly, Noah turns red, screams, arches his back or goes limp. He lays on the floor wailing, pounding his fists into the ground and then he starts throwing anything in his path. We had to walk out of Mom and Tot class last week because he had a tantrum. It was clean up time and all the other kids put their things away. Noah wouldn't give up his train and join bubble and song time. I don't expect him to sit through circle time, I know he's only a toddler, but I want him to at least stand there and be part of the class. He will be 18 months old this month and that's too old to let him run wild, lead the show. So I took the train and showed him that I was cleaning up, that we could play later, but right now, everyone was enjoying the teacher's bubble machine and singing. He lost it. It was an all out tantrum in the middle of the group. Unfortunately, there was about twenty, wooden rhythm sticks laying on the floor, which he took and started throwing in all directions. Children could have gotten badly hurt. I picked Noah up and walked out into the hall until he calmed down. I was embarrassed that my child would become violent, but most of all, I had a moment where I really didn't like being a Mother.
I think this episode last week was so frustrating was because it has been happening more and more frequently. There were four tantrums today alone. People say, is he tired, is he hungry? Yes! He's tired and he's hungry because he doesn't really sleep and doesn't really eat for me. I've read all the books, talked to pediatricians (Plural), I've tried all the tricks, kept him on a schedule, stayed home, ran him at the park, made special meals, tried different bed times, soothing techniques. TRUST ME, if there was a way to make this kid easier to deal with, more predictable, I would have found it by now.
I know all toddlers are hard. Noah is just a little more intense than many. A good example is Mom and Tot class. I wonder each week, why is Noah usually the only one not sitting and paying attention? We all went out to the playground for the first time and he was the only "evil Knevil" kid, running to the top of the big kid's play structure and flying down the biggest slide head first. It's like he has no fear and a motor that never turns off. Noah I guess, is a "spirited" kid, which is the opposite of "by the book". I'm so envious, all of my friends with kids have toddlers who sleep at pretty much the same time for the same length. Their kids don't wake up in the morning and from naps crying loudly each morning. Their kids have meltdowns, but not four a day for no reason.
Frustration, frustration. I seriously don't know if I want more children. We'll see, but I'm surprised I feel this way because I used to want three kids, or so I thought. I don't think I have it in me, at least if they are as unpredictable as Noah. I don't think I want to go through such stressful early years again. Someday, I bet it will be tons of fun with Noah when he can really talk. His sense of humor is great already, and he loves to draw, dance and make silly noises just like me. I can't wait to hear his take on the world, chat over slurpees, see who he'll become. As much as he exasperates me, makes me cry, has me at wits end, I feel like I've found a kindred spirit in Noah. I think in the end, we're very alike
What else is going on....
SEE...it's not good to blog when you are crabby.
Ok, in other news:
I cut my own hair. I was bored and hated my fizzy, dry, unruly hair. It's curly, not a nice curl anymore. I had to blow dry it and use a flat iron everyday. So, I just decided to cut it off. Cutting hair to me is like sculpting. It was so much fun! For those of you who don't know, I love art. Drawing, crafting, painting. So this was lots of fun. I'll take a picture and show you.
My parents bought a new house. I'm trying to convince them to let us move in. It kind of has this suite type area above the garage. There are two bedrooms and a bathroom and it has a separate back stairs that come out by the kitchen. Hey, it would be cheaper than home ownership, you'd have built in babysitters and someone else to mow the lawn. Actually, I'm kidding about all of this but only 98% kidding.
I have no idea how the following stuff happened. I'm on the nursery school commitee and now...somehow..part of the temple sisterhood. They are a group of women who do volunteer work, have social events and fundraise. Yes, I am A.)a member of the temple, B.) indeed a girl.... but C.) I am not 45 D.) I am not blond, nor have gold jewelry and E.) I am not rich nor drive a Lexus SUV. Somehow though, I'm now in the sisterhood and have some up coming events, like wine and cheese tasting. Huh? I also have a meeting next week because I was asked to represent the nursery school in a temple wide resale type of sale. I am supposed to get nursery school Moms to pay a small fee for a table and sell their lightly used children's clothing, toys and books. We will also have the sisterhood there selling their unwanted accessories. I decided to collect diamonds so you can assure I will get to the sale early. The brotherhood will sell tools and such and the "Beth Elders" will sell their walkers. Just kidding, but they will sell something.
Today I cracked up when a little package arrived from Brianne. It was FULL of binkies! The first to come flying out was a binkie that looked like a mouth full of teeth. It was pretty funny. Brianne's little five month old, Aidan, won't take a pacifier, so Bree was sweet enough to send them to us! Isn't it nice to have such caring friends? I'm very very lucky. :)
Other friend news! Congratulations to my best friend from college, Caroline. She became engaged over the weekend to the very wonderful Ed. I'm so happy for them! A good friend of mine who shall remain nameless until it's a for sure, is moving to San Francisco most likely. You go girl! To San Francisco!
Nate and Sarah are off to run their marathon in Vancouver this weekend! I'll be thinking of them on Sunday. They managed to raise $10,000 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. Check out a story in the paper about them HERE. Sarah's sister Meagan, and our friend too is also off to vancouver with her family and their Mom. They are all spending a week's vacation out there. I hope thery have a very nice time and a great run!
There's more stuff I could ramble on about for sure, but it's getting pretty late so I'll leave that for another day. In the meantime, here are some pictures from the past week. Thanks for reading you guys, and thanks to those of you would wrote to see how and where I was. I really appreciate it. :)
A big thank you to Sarah's Dad who was nice enough to buy Joshua the $7 Thomas balloon that I would at "A Day Out with Thomas". Sarah gave us the balloon before theu left for their trip. Here is also a picture of Noah with his new backpack that arrived today! He needs one for extra clothes, sunscreen and a lunch box to bring to "All By Myself" camp this summer!
Noah's into coloring.