Friday, January 06, 2006


They don't call me the domestic diva for nothing. No, seriously, they really don't call me that. Diva, maybe, domestic, that one's debatable.

This is me taking the garbage cans in this morning. I probably should have taken them in a day ago,but it was hard enough getting myself to take them out in the first place. You see, Jon has been out of town in Las Vegas on business, (He's coming home tonight on the red eye) and I have been left all alone with Noah to fend for ourselves. This has included a number of domestic duties that I am , well, shall we say "challenged" in. Yes, I pull my weight in childcare and house work, and you know that's a lot to pull, but there are just some things I just need to get better at.

It's not my fault. (Here's the part where I can see my Mother cringing) It's just that as a kid, I didn't have many "chores". Actually, I didn't really have to do much at all. Just keep my room picked up, that was my big thing. I'd keep it neat and clean four out of ten times, and the other six it would be a disaster zone of books, toys, clothes and animals. Yes, animals, I have had in my bedroom over the years newts, parakeets, gerbils, hamsters, cats, dogs and to this day...a guinea pig. I remember this one time (no, not at band camp) that my Mom had our cleaning woman do a once over in my room. She brought a cleaning guy to help her for some reason that day and he saw my underwear on the floor and I almost died from total and utter horrification of an nine year old mind. It was BAD!

Where was I? Oh yeah, so I didn't have a lot of responsibilities as a kid. I was a good kid by the way, so my Mom had no need to get all chain gang on me. I can honestly say I had never really hand washed a dish, nor loaded and ran a dishwasher until college. I was shocked when our first house in college had no dishwasher. I imagined getting dish pan hands, whatever that was. I had to learn at 18 how to do a load of laundry, work a coffee pot, vacuum a room, heck, I just learned this year how to use a lawn mower.

PEOPLE! I just want you to know that over Christmas my brother taught me how to caulk things. While Jon has been gone I have re-caulked the kitchen sink, the toilet and re-caulked both of them again, just for fun. Caulking rocks! I also bought Tilex Mildew cleaner because I am going to learn how to clean the shower. By the way though, I know how to clean a toilet well now, and although it's not my favorite way to spend my time, it is one of "my jobs" and that's just fine with me. I like to vacuum and I have fantasies of getting "The Shark" hand held mini vac someday.

Where was I again? So I've been home alone with Noah and since I had to take the trash cans in for about the third time in my life, I decided if this were to happen again, I should start being prepared. Enter the all purpose princess gloves. These pink gems have been a life saver. Thank God for them, the left glove even has a fake 4 carat diamond on it! I have worn them this week to caulk, take in the trash, clean up broken Christmas bulbs that I dropped AND to scrape up some NASTY NASTY gunk that came up through a hole in the floor of our basement today. No, I don't think it was what you are thinking, I think it was disgusting, old food instead, as I was using our disposal for a half hour last night. My Mom thinks the pipes just got backed up.

Do you know why I was using the disposal for a half hour last night? BECAUSE, I cleaned out our fridge! Do you know why I cleaned out our fridge? BECAUSE, our new Fridge and stove came today!!!!!!!!!! Woo Hoo! Our very first new appliance ever! It is just amazing. Now I am going to get domesticated hard core. Or, Jon can do that instead and I will become a caulk crazed handyman princess with pink laytex gloves.


Judy said...

Whoo boy, this is going to take me a couple of days of reading! You both have been busy little posters! I love the gloves, Lauren, wherever did you find them?

When Scott's out of town (which is ALL.THE.TIME) I get nothing done - NOTHING. It is all I can do to heat up the frozen pizza.

Bree said...

Lauren, was it Jeff that taught you how to caulk? Too funny. It reminds me of when we skipped school so he could teach me how to make all the lights on my car blue. He is so talented. lol